Category: insects

Perfectly unreasonable

Lots of men experience sudden, irrational fears the night before their wedding. Or rational fears, sometimes, too.
Feelings of inferiority are her therapeutic speciality.
Oh, poor thing. Maybe she should drive off to find a chemists’ shop to buy some antihistamine – it’s best to deal with these things early, before the bites become inflamed.
I’ve tried paying for the ‘realistic girlfriend experience’ a few times, but it’s really a waste of money. They often don’t turn up and even if they do, we usually go to a bar or something where they get off with someone else and leave without me.
‘Cos she’s her laaaydeee… and you’re their male.
Erm… that spanking went without a hitch…no. This painting’s a bit kitsch… Oh dear.

Captured moments

There are worse fates than being trodden upon.
I’m sure you wouldn’t. Not really. Not really really really. Right?
I always find it so hard to remember my details in these circumstances: my name, date of birth… all of that, just flees my brain. Fortunately my password’s ‘Shoelicker’ so that’s easy.
Thank goodness one of you came prepared.
Come inside you silly bugger…
If you think about it (and Kitten’s thought about it a lot) a pay piggie is just like an ideal sugar daddy, because Kitten gets more money to buy the things she wants, doesn’t have to have sex with anyone old and ugly and doesn’t even have to pretend to like you.

Foolish things

As often as she likes, obviously. Which is quite often.
Perhaps her mistress will come to see the advantages in having a male around. Maybe get one herself; I understand they’re very cheap to keep, they needn’t be irritating if they are permanently gagged and after all, she’s got a sub to make sure the nasty thing washes itself frequently.
It’s silly to complain about the taste: I mean, it’s not her fault the company that produces the shaving foam makes it so unpleasant, is it? Write them a letter if you’re so upset about it: I’m sure she’d buy you a stamp.
How could anyone be frightened of a sweet, harmless little creature like her?
It was a blonde joke, wasn’t it? ‘How many blonde nurses does it take to change an obnoxious man’s sexist attitudes’… was that it?
Seems a bit easier than the game of “Guess what implement’s next” that my SO likes to play with me strapped down over the whipping bench. I’m rubbish at it: I don’t think I’ve been right once in what must be over 20 tries, even though she gives me a choice between only two each time. No matter what I say, it’s always the other one. That’s odds of 2^20 against… over a million to one! Pretty unlucky… but as she likes to say, meeting her was such a lucky thing for me, I don’t deserve any more luck ever again, and of course I can’t argue with logic like that.

She builds you up just to put you down

What a clown.

How very inconsiderate.
Funny how often that happens. It’s as if the spinner’s drawn to that outcome.
I discovered very early on in my dating career that the secret to really satisfying a woman sexually is to make sure she never meets me.
She has a similar approach to the men in her life – she likes them hungry, but not actually starving to death, or at least not too quickly.
She likes to feel a big cock inside her, so why can’t you?
Remarkably, AFM won a Pulitzer back in 1957 but its editorial standards have slipped a little since.

If that’s what she wants

‘Terrified’ is good. They like terrified.
She didn’t know he had a phobia about spiders, before this. Now she does.
My SO was very sexually adventurous on our wedding night. So I’m told, anyway.
Nothing’s quite so humiliating as someone deciding that the humiliating thing to make you do is your actual job. It’s like when I paid a domme to dress me in a humliating manner and she laughed and asked me just to put my regular clothes back on. Maybe she misunderstood, I dunno.
Speaking of humiliating outfits.. aren’t you glad you get to wear a dress, when the boys are round, instead of having to walk around in lingerie like she does?
‘So…’ ? So what? Oh well, I expect she’ll explain it to him after the session. Just… don’t try this at home, OK? Dommes who are inexperienced at really severe breathplay should make sure the first few times they try it they’re in, like, a totally different city from their hometown and be sure not to leave any physical evidence.

Intelligences greater than man’s

“minds that are to our minds as ours are to those of the beasts that perish, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic...”

It’s a science fiction special.

Actually, he doesn’t even need to access the control software. All the sexbots that can have dominatrix modes enabled come with a safeword on a piece of paper, at the bottom of the box . Unfortunately, the makers imagined their customers reading the instructions leaflet all the way through at the start of the unpacking process, then carefully following the recommended procedure, step by step. Rather than just tearing it open, ignoring the leaflet and powering their new toy up straight away. Forgetting, in short, that their customers were male and unlikely to have a female assisting in the unpacking process of this particular product. Oh well. Think of it as a learning opportunity.

You want to watch out for those dominatrix sex robots…

Girls cosplay Star Trek for the futuristic vision and for the strong character development, boys for the miniskirts and boots.
Galactic law says that a superior species like theirs has to respect the customs of the planet they invade – and that is what they are doing. Just not the human inhabitants’ customs. Spiders live here too… who’s to say we’re right and they’re wrong?
They say that great inventors are rarely appreciated in their own time. Which is not the case here: these two seem to be very appreciative of the technological breakthrough this chap has produced.
As I always say, there’s nothing girls can do that boys can’t, as long as it is explained slowly enough using simple words, and it’s understood that we’ll probably fuck it up.

Incidentally, in the ‘other’ universe Artemis 9 made a flawless re-entry (female pilots…) but there was an unfortunate misunderstanding when the (tragically male) President greeted the returning heroines. In fairness, everyone agreed that he did have a very slappable face.

Savage beauties

She thinks that there are always other credit cards.  And she’s right, of course, there are. They don’t all belong to the same male but that doesn’t matter.
Many married couples never discuss money, but in the best-run marriages it’s discussed once and that’s that.
Kafka-trapping, eh?  Curiously enough, George has always fantasised about this. I hope he enjoys the real thing just as much.
If she dreads it that much, why not just decide not to make him wear the No. 5s?  Women are hard to understand sometimes.
Almost all the guys she fucks are insensitive brutes, so she needs someone in her life who cares about her feelings.  Let’s hope he learns a bit of empathy.

Saviours of the Universe

 Flash!  AI-AAAH!

Sorry.  Science fiction post, anyway.

Who wants to live forever?  HAHAHAHAHA!  Diiiive!

Sorry.

 

Just one female supremacist from a parallel dimension against an entire male-run planet?  Her chances can’t be better than evens… 75% at best.

 

 

It is very beautiful in its own special way… her people write poetry about it.  Maybe she’ll
read you some while she’s working you over with her ovipositor.

 

 

 

Hmm?  No, no everything’s fine.  Just came into the wrong room, that’s all.  I suppose I might briefly have imagined seeing five figures changing into pretty young ladies from… from… something else, but obviously that didn’t really happen.  Just my imagination… how silly.  But how lovely you all look!  What beautiful dresses!  Now, if you’ll excuse me….

 

 

Yes, unfortunately maleness itself is incurable, even with their advanced technology, but most of the visible symptoms can be removed or suppressed.

 

 

The sun shines every day in this parallel world.  It’s a paradise – for full citizens, anyway.

With every intention of surrendering to fifty-foot women

Oh and the pain is so sweet.

Yay, it’s another science fiction special!  Yay…?

 


 

 

 


 

 

 



He does.  He’s actually a very unpleasant human being. Believe me: I’ve known him for over 50 years.

 

Harsh unreality

Many women are actually very good at verbal humiliation play without even realising it, in my experience.

 

Don’t forget to shout out your safeword if it all gets too much.  Fire ant play can be quite intense.

 

 

He reports to the Chief Prison Inspector for the region, who in turn reports to his wife – whose lover by curious chance, is the Governess of this facility.  But they are all scrupulously independent.

 

 

 

Sookie was doing well this month: got to day 3 without any class 1 faults.  That’s a record.

 

 

 

It might be a while – she has a very high tolerance for pain.

 

 

 

(Oh, and I just thought you might like to see a picture of the Prime Minister of Finland.)


 

Actually, speaking of politics (as fetish porn blogs so often will), the British Tory party has another opportunity to opt for the smack of firm government and elect Penny Mordaunt.  Let’s hope they know what’s good for them this time.

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