insects – Contemplating the divine

Whip smart

Just to cite one possibility, at random, among so many.

The Honourable Dogbreath-Twattington takes his role very seriously and never reaches a decision without careful thought about the possible consequences of getting it wrong.

Some prefer candles and soft music but they’ve discovered through much experimentation that this is what works for them.

He’ll thank her for it eventually, you’ll see.

Oh, I hate playing the ‘guess what I stepped in’ game. Surprisingly enough, for instance, beetles and slugs taste very similar, despite actually coming from entirely separate phylla of the animal kingdom.

Oooh kerosene play! Quite edgy if you currently have quite a lot of body hair, I understand.

Insults and injuries

Never was, in any sense that ever mattered to anyone, to be honest.

Don’t worry: mere viewing of the photos on the Internet carries a much lighter penalty. If it’s a first offence, you should get away with just a day visit to the re-education centre.

I’m sure there are planty of more experienced readers of this blog who could help Miss Chambers out.

See? There was no reason to worry about telling her. Kitten understands completely and she’ll adapt to the new situation.

This way, Ma’am.

Of course, the good Governess will have to make up for it on a subsequent visit, but there’s no need to think about that now.

Commanding voices

No sense in rushing these things. My SO always says that I can spend as long as I like – longer even – across the whipping bench, any time I feel like putting one of her orders off until later. It’s nice to have that kind of flexibility.

No cruelty involved.

The name hardly matters, anyway. Usually she’ll just announce what she wants done and you’ll be able to tell when it’s you who’s supposed to do it, just from the tone of her voice.

Her logic is irrefutable (and any attempt to refute it would be a long and painful process anyway).

These are of course the magnificent Goddess Sophia, on (and in) the right there, who has had the discomfort of having to scrape Servitor off the sole of her shoe several times over the years. And Ms Morrigan Hel, on the left, with whom I have not had the pleasure, although she did once walk past a cage I was in.

Presumably she’s about to try to lead Rosie away from evil, back towards the path of kindness and virtue.

Beta Boy has a small circulation but it has very low labour costs – indeed, many of the staff pay the proprietrix to work there – so it gets by.

The will to power

This particular set of vows contains penalty clauses.

It’s nice to be special, isn’t it?

I think she’s coping very well.

The wonderful Lady Sophia Black. I don’t know what she’s doing now she’s retired from professional domination, but I’ll bet she’s amazingly good at that, too.

Men who aren’t meek and obedient have something wrong with their brains. Fortunately, it’s fixable.

Tastes much the same, if I’m honest.

Well, that’s my plan for the session sorted out!

Perfectly unreasonable

Lots of men experience sudden, irrational fears the night before their wedding. Or rational fears, sometimes, too.

Feelings of inferiority are her therapeutic speciality.

Oh, poor thing. Maybe she should drive off to find a chemists’ shop to buy some antihistamine – it’s best to deal with these things early, before the bites become inflamed.

I’ve tried paying for the ‘realistic girlfriend experience’ a few times, but it’s really a waste of money. They often don’t turn up and even if they do, we usually go to a bar or something where they get off with someone else and leave without me.

‘Cos she’s her laaaydeee… and you’re their male.

Erm… that spanking went without a hitch…no. This painting’s a bit kitsch… Oh dear.

Captured moments

There are worse fates than being trodden upon.

I’m sure you wouldn’t. Not really. Not really really really. Right?

I always find it so hard to remember my details in these circumstances: my name, date of birth… all of that, just flees my brain. Fortunately my password’s ‘Shoelicker’ so that’s easy.

Thank goodness one of you came prepared.

C o me inside you silly bugger…

If you think about it (and Kitten’s thought about it a lot) a pay piggie is just like an ideal sugar daddy, because Kitten gets more money to buy the things she wants, doesn’t have to have sex with anyone old and ugly and doesn’t even have to pretend to like you.

Foolish things

As often as she likes, obviously. Which is quite often.

Perhaps her mistress will come to see the advantages in having a male around. Maybe get one herself; I understand they’re very cheap to keep, they needn’t be irritating if they are permanently gagged and after all, she’s got a sub to make sure the nasty thing washes itself frequently.

It’s silly to complain about the taste: I mean, it’s not her fault the company that produces the shaving foam makes it so unpleasant, is it? Write them a letter if you’re so upset about it: I’m sure she’d buy you a stamp.

How could anyone be frightened of a sweet, harmless little creature like her?

It was a blonde joke, wasn’t it? ‘How many blonde nurses does it take to change an obnoxious man’s sexist attitudes’… was that it?

Seems a bit easier than the game of “Guess what implement’s next” that my SO likes to play with me strapped down over the whipping bench. I’m rubbish at it: I don’t think I’ve been right once in what must be over 20 tries, even though she gives me a choice between only two each time. No matter what I say, it’s always the other one. That’s odds of 2^20 against… over a million to one! Pretty unlucky… but as she likes to say, meeting her was such a lucky thing for me, I don’t deserve any more luck ever again, and of course I can’t argue with logic like that.

She builds you up just to put you down

How very inconsiderate.

Funny how often that happens. It’s as if the spinner’s drawn to that outcome.

I discovered very early on in my dating career that the secret to really satisfying a woman sexually is to make sure she never meets me.

She has a similar approach to the men in her life – she likes them hungry, but not actually starving to death, or at least not too quickly.

She likes to feel a big cock inside her, so why can’t you?

Remarkably, AFM won a Pulitzer back in 1957 but its editorial standards have slipped a little since.

If that’s what she wants

‘Terrified’ is good. They like terrified.

She didn’t know he had a phobia about spiders, before this. Now she does.

My SO was very sexually adventurous on our wedding night. So I’m told, anyway.

Nothing’s quite so humiliating as someone deciding that the humiliating thing to make you do is your actual job. It’s like when I paid a domme to dress me in a humliating manner and she laughed and asked me just to put my regular clothes back on. Maybe she misunderstood, I dunno.

Speaking of humiliating outfits.. aren’t you glad you get to wear a dress, when the boys are round, instead of having to walk around in lingerie like she does?

‘So…’ ? So what? Oh well, I expect she’ll explain it to him after the session. Just… don’t try this at home, OK? Dommes who are inexperienced at really severe breathplay should make sure the first few times they try it they’re in, like, a totally different city from their hometown and be sure not to leave any physical evidence.

Intelligences greater than man’s

“minds that are to our minds as ours are to those of the beasts that perish, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic...”

It’s a science fiction special.

Actually, he doesn’t even need to access the control software. All the sexbots that can have dominatrix modes enabled come with a safeword on a piece of paper, at the bottom of the box . Unfortunately, the makers imagined their customers reading the instructions leaflet all the way through at the start of the unpacking process, then carefully following the recommended procedure, step by step. Rather than just tearing it open, ignoring the leaflet and powering their new toy up straight away. Forgetting, in short, that their customers were male and unlikely to have a female assisting in the unpacking process of this particular product. Oh well. Think of it as a learning opportunity.

You want to watch out for those dominatrix sex robots…

Girls cosplay Star Trek for the futuristic vision and for the strong character development, boys for the miniskirts and boots.

Galactic law says that a superior species like theirs has to respect the customs of the planet they invade – and that is what they are doing. Just not the human inhabitants’ customs. Spiders live here too… who’s to say we’re right and they’re wrong?

They say that great inventors are rarely appreciated in their own time. Which is not the case here: these two seem to be very appreciative of the technological breakthrough this chap has produced.

As I always say, there’s nothing girls can do that boys can’t, as long as it is explained slowly enough using simple words, and it’s understood that we’ll probably fuck it up.

Incidentally, in the ‘other’ universe Artemis 9 made a flawless re-entry (female pilots…) but there was an unfortunate misunderstanding when the (tragically male) President greeted the returning heroines. In fairness, everyone agreed that he did have a very slappable face.