domestic – Contemplating the divine

Respect where it’s demanded

Update: something went badly wrong with this site, deleting every change between May 5th to now, including all comments during that time. I’m really sorry about that, especially losing all the ‘maths teacher’ comments. I’ll keep looking into it, but from what I can tell, the site did not backup last week but instead reverted to the previous backup, which was May 5th. If any WordPress experts have suggestions, I’d welcome them but I’ve tried all the options suggested by Googling the problem and the site really does seem to have fully lost a week – comments are even missing from the wp_comments database. Ouch. I can only apologise to my brilliant commenters who got deleted. Not my doing!

The nice thing about damage that’s reversible is she gets to do it again.

It was complicated getting the place built, but fortunately she owned the building developer and a friend of hers owned an architect. Oh, and they only discovered after the work was done that they had to apply for planning permission, but the planning officer was given a thorough tour of the facilities over a long weekend, and he was eager to approve after that. So it all got done in the end… although never *quite* to her satisfaction, it has to be said.

She likes to give them a sporting chance. No more than one chance, mind. And no more sporting than necessary.

She’s trying hard to make this work for both of you, but if it’s not working for her, that’s can’t happen, can it?

That’s the thing about OWK: everyone imagines it’s non stop brutality but it’s more stop-start-stop-start…

Well, if the price is fixed I suppose that’s what you have to pay. But you could *try* offering more?

Just a quick word, darling?

Particularly annoying as I missed it last month for putting too *little* milk in. Still, once I finally get it right, everything should be fine.

Sometimes couples are more compatible than they realise. Now they can be open and honest with each other, I expect their relationship will become a lot deeper.

She just slipped him into something incomparably less comfortable.

Important to remember where your loyalties lie. I’m sure Mike has no doubts on that score.

She just likes to know where he is – especially if it’s ‘on the floor writhing around in pain and screaming apologies’.

Woman’s inhumanity to man

Which is obviously fine, humanity being properly reserved for humans not apes or maggots.

I’ve heard the trick is to think about other things, OK? The two weeks will fly by. Now hurry up with that lotion: she’s waiting.

And if you’re *not* actually her 4 o’clock pervert, just go on up anyway. She isn’t particular.

Realistic goals, firm boundaries, severe consequences. Secret of a happy marriage, right?

She’s right, they’re already starting to look ugly and horrible.

Particularly disappointing given the ants’ matriatrchal society. You’d think they’d at least have a nibble… ant cannot live on honey alone.

Even the grimmest, most unpleasant situations can benefit from a little joke, he always used to say.

Incidentally, my captions here often feature the wonderful Mistress Eleise (with whom I had the pleasure and pain in Paris of a session or three) objecting to blonde jokes. But that’s just my invention. Maybe she really likes them, collects them and treasures examples in which the blonde is being particularly dumb? If anyone visits Canada and if she’s still working, do try a few out and let us know how it goes.

The age of unreason

Wednesday. No – Sunday! And if it’s Sunday, it must be a themed special. What’s the theme today? Well, we continue to delay the scheduled World War M post, because of unpleasant (and, it would seem, somewhat poorly thought-out) developments in the so-called ‘real world’, so today we are once again celebrating that most delightful of feminine attitudes: being utterly, stubbornly, deliciously unreasonable.

On Tuesday I’m due to go and see a lady I’ve not had a session with before and we’ve agreed on email that it’ll be a domestic scene in which she scolds me, is demanding and impossible to please and generally thoroughly unreasonable. Which sounds lovely, but what if she changes her mind and just decides to do something else on a whim?

But try to avoid stubborn silences too – we know how passive-aggressive those can be.

You can’t please any of the dommes any of the time.

This is the third time this week. Subs can be so disappointing.

All the rules are important but you want to pay particular attention to the ones headed ‘Price’.

A slap in the face is more effective than ten lectures.

It makes you understand very quickly.

Leopold von Sacher-Masoch wrote that. He knew a thing or two, that lad. They should name something after him, to commemorate his life and work.

Males sometimes find it hard to understand why such things matter. Most women will have a sensible answer, usually along the lines of ‘Hand me your belt and bend over that chair.’ It’s a Mars/Venus thing, just go with it.

Period pains can be pretty intense, as he’s about to find out.

Screaming in agony and pleading for mercy is just another way of giving a woman oral stimulation, if you think about it. I think about it a lot.

More electric shocks. Isn’t the modern world wonderful, with all this technology to make routine domestic tasks easier?

As it turned out, she got a bit confused over which was which, so both got punished for both. It really didn’t matter anyway, certainly not to her.

Cruellan (and Goddessian) material continues to become more and more available. Go check out the ‘SLOC’ programme and download gigbytes of sneering, beatings and delicious unpleasantness – and there are ever more magazines. ‘Is it free’? No it’s not free, you cheapskate, and nor are the best things in life. Like a lot of this stuff, though, I’m sure it’s vastly cheaper than it used to be when these things were bought wrapped in flowery paper in a Soho shop and carried home in shaking hands and breathless anticipation.

The school has a policy about bullying. So does she.

Bonny brutality

I don’t pee standing up, either. My SO insists that I do it lying in my bathtub, with my legs up as far over my head as they’ll go. It’s quite uncomfortable – and messy – but she says it’s funnier that way.

The trick is to have a weekly joint budget – and for the male to have sufficient incentive to make sure it isn’t exceeded, no matter what she spends.

You can get an app to track your pillory time each week, I understand, which can be useful for writing letters of thanks.

‘D-I-V-O-R-C-E – find out what you’re worth to her, on the open market.’

Oh good. I hope one of them’s a nice cup of hot chocolate.

It’s not mind-reading. Men can’t really hide it when they’re aroused. I don’t just mean erections – even we submissives who aren’t allowed them exhibit subtler signs, like whining and pleading.

When the belle strikes

She’s perfect, so is it so unreasonable for her to expect perfection around her?

She’s quite unsentimental about these things. Just as well, because her boys don’t usually last long.

The self-defense training can actually be worked into the pole-dancing routine, but they’d need several new submissives every night, so they only do that on special occasions.

Strangely, once the penitance she has in mind is complete, you’ll actually still be in a state of mortal sin – more so, if anything. So you’d better go straight to confession and it can all start again.

Conversations about money in relationships can be very uncomfortable. Many couples find it easier never to discuss money – my SO certainly never allows the topic to come up.

Fascinatrices

Trust is important in marriage, but not as important as discipline. She’d like to trust you, but like any caring wife she just wants to make quite sure.

She doesn’t know much about horses. You know, she didn’t even realise you don’t have to peel carrots before you give them to a horse? So someone spent over an hour peeling carrots… and then there were all the scrapings to be eaten up off the ground. All in all, it’s fair to say this is not what he expected when he paid a domme to come out to his place in the country… which is probably why he tipped her double and emailed her the very next day requesting another session.

Just after this picture was taken, he made the mistake of replying that in that case he would be happy to help out by doing half of the spanking. This did not go down well, but after a very long discussion their marriage emerged stronger than ever.

Fair enough to pay extra for an orgasm but I’ve heard there are some fake dommes who charge extra for simple things that really ought to be included in the up-front tribute, like being untied, having the beating stop or just the plastic bag removed from over your head. It’s a rather shady practice, in my view.

The most important thing for her to realise is that she’s in control.

I find it hard to look at her without suffering an Anya-ism. Well, “suffering” isn’t really the right word.

Under her care and control

Because she’s very caring and very controlling.

‘Rules’ mind you, not ‘contract’. Your agreement was not required then, nor is it now.

Quite a lot at those ladies’ hourly rates, I hope.

I’ll mention again, in gratitude and encouragement, that Cruella’s back catalogue of magazines and photos is finally being made available for download. You can even pay by PayPal. Go on…

I might like it if it were consistently cooked properly but, for some reason, half of the time the person serving me just pushes a bowl of raw octopus into my face. I can’t imagine why this place gets such rave reviews. Still, you go for the experience, really, don’t you?

Obviously, it’s a bit of a gamble giving your life and freedom up to some unknown starlet. Sure, you might end up with a diamond-encrusted collar, chained up in the playroom of a Beverley Hills mansion… But most budding actresses don’t make it and you’re far more likely to end your days working two paid jobs and doing domestic slavery for an abusive, bitter alcoholic, her looks ruined by bad plastic surgery, living with her violent boyfriend in a trailer park somewhere. Which – y’know – isn’t necessarily a *bad* thing, but you should know what you’re getting into, that’s all.

I might venture a prediction… well: more of a guess, really.

I wonder what it would take to convince him to go vegetarian?

The astonishingly glamorous, beautiful and witty Mistress Eleise de Lacy, a truly wonderful domme, now sadly retired. This tweet from Sardax contains lovely pictures I’d never seen before, showing her playful smile (do tigresses smile? If so, it must look something like that).

Relentlessly romantic

And it makes her life easier too – she can focus her disciplinary efforts on gratifying her own sexual desires, instead of constantly having to make you scream for mercy over simple household tasks inadequately carried out.

You don’t want to make it her problem, believe me. She employs very effective problem-solving techniques.

Well she could look a bit more interested! I mean, here you are, ready to scream your guts out as you thrash around in agony for everyone else’s pleasure…

I can date to the very day – almost to the very stroke – the moment I reached the same realisation, in my own blissfully happy marriage.

She’ll get the hang of it. You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few kitchen slaves, am I right?

Actually, she’s unfairly disparaging* AFM’s technology section here. Just in the last few issues they’ve reviewed all the latest electronic air fresheners – focusing on how easy it is to change the scent they disperse – they’ve had some fascinating pieces on the microfungus ecologies that thrive and provide such rich aromas from even the cleanest armpits and they have tested out all of the latest AI models with a carefully standardised prompt crafted to induce them to describe a particular activity (can’t remember what it was) in as much detail as possible. Plus reviews of shaving technologies obviously.

*But then, Ms Palvin is very welcome to disparage me unfairly as hard and as often as she wants. I live for the hope that one day she will.