financial management – Contemplating the divine

Angels and beasts

My SO had me on my hands and knees for three hours once, crawling around looking for her contact lens, which is mad, really, since she doesn’t even wear them. Still, it did solve the usual problem I have at those parties of not knowing what to say to anyone.

Rookie error: he should have been expressing *gratitude* for feeling cold, after all the trouble she went to to make sure he would. Still, I’m sure there will be other opportunities, especially now autumn is here.

She didn’t even bother to check whether you’re already spoken for – rather selfish behaviour if there’s a findomme somewhere depending on your monthly pay cheque for her next handbag.

She does, but the weekly session tribute is quite high, so you need to be doing at least seventy loads of laundry each day before it starts to pay. Fortunately there’s a lot of demand: after all, it’s a lot cheaper than using one of the machines.

There’s lots of stuff they both enjoy, but Lucy has a thing about eye-torture; she’s tried, because she knows how much her girlfriend enjoys it, but she just isn’t into it. If it’s just a quick thing, like a cigarette being stubbed out, she can just put her fingers in her ears, shut her eyes and sing but you can’t keep that up for an hour (two hours, even, if it’s both eyes, one after the other).

He is in fact made to writhe on the ground in agony, sometimes, but that’s a different thing, she’s not doing it to punish him.

Callous whispers

No household bills, but Dave’s still paying off the instalments on his motorbike. And it’s not like the pay-pig gets to choose, right?

Cometh the hour, cometh the humiliation freak.

The Government have been giving men a chance to show they can improve without harsh measures. So far, results have been quite disappointing.

Goes with your total lack of personality, I expect. Sorry, but someone had to tell you.

Of course, the only reliable way to decide which OWK Lady is nicest is to experience a whipping from each of them in turn. Fortunately, Nigel’s already been sufficiently outspoken that there’s a rota on the wall of the Ladies’ break room to ensure that’s exactly what he gets over the course of his stay.

Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it

So history is a bit like a spanking, I suppose. More old-fashioned femdom.

She’s a firm believer in the system of absolute monarchy.

People think of Victorian England as being rather stuffy but let’s not forget this was an era of harsh floggings in boys’ schools and the public birching of criminals, so there was plenty to pique the girlish interest of a young queen.

In every punishment that’s done, there is an element of fun.

She maintains her social media, with daily postings on the public noticeboards, often recounting further sales of her illustrated portfolios by subscription, or through purchase from that fine emporium: ‘Only Fans’. She also sells used items, mainly haberdashery.

Some young ladies watching public birchings find themselves gasping and crying out, poor things, so overwhelmed are they by the emotions of the experience.

Apparently the young priest who hears *her* confession always needs to lie down in a cool room for some hours afterwards.

It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son—and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

Leaving plenty of time for any other things she has planned in the remainder of the session.

Male brains are often fixated upon numbers: how many weeks, how many months… getting on for a year. Whereas women are much more interested in feelings: I’m sure she’d love to hear how unbearably frustrating he’s finding it, but he’s just stuck in Mars-mode.

That’s OK, I’m *really* good at fucking off.

If you’re still unsure how much to pledge, the suggested donation is ‘all of it, idiot!’.

She’s right, you know. It might be best to remember that at all times, from now on.

Oh… it’s just possible some popcorn will fall on the floor during the show, maybe even get squished under her boots. You’re OK dealing with that too, right?

Obviously, the complexities of female supremacist theory are beyond most men, but there are simplified versions aimed at a male readership, such as *Female Supremacy for Idiots*, or, for those finding even that a stretch, *Female Supremacy for Complete Fucking Morons*. Or there are short residential courses that explain everything very clearly.

Now here’s some excellent news: Red Rump is back!

Oh, and also this is rather lovely and has long free trailers. I recommend watching Camille doing her thing, very wonderfully. Très chic!

When she snaps her fingers

… you’ll try desperately to remember what Position 4 was, if you’re anything like me (although I do hope for your sake and that of everyone around you that you’re not).

Some men find it difficult adjusting to married life, but many find it makes things a lot easier, usually almost immediately.

He may be a learned judge but it’s taking him ages to get his canter just right, even with all three ladies helping.

Goddess Sophia, Mistress Courtney and…ummm? Anyone? I’m sure I’ll kick myself when I’m told, or maybe pay someone else to make a proper job of the kicking.

Don’t get her wrong: she cares deeply about her piggies. They’re her livelihood, after all, and she can’t afford to use too many, not all at once, anyway.

Find the humbler and ‘snap!’. The job’s a game. A painful BDSM game.

The choice of voltage is about what you need, not what you can take. Mila’s all about giving, anyway, not taking.

The wise man knows himself to be a fool

And I don’t claim to be wise enough for that, but at least I have the self-awareness to pay ladies to tell me what an idiot I am.

It’s good they have a relationship where he can just get down on his knees and admit to things like this.

Looks like someone forgot rule 7…

Poor old fat bastard is going to need counselling after the session, Fortunately, that’s something she provides too – she specialises in men who suffer from anxiety.

Nata’s got so much love to take and so little time.

On the packet it does say ‘not to be ingested’, but she says ‘lick it all off’ and who are you going to obey?

Some might find these contraptions excessively complicated, but Barbara’s not afraid to try things and just keep trying until they work out.

How to depict pleasure, cruelty, and wantonness in tempting colours

Ah, the kindness of strangers. Often a welcome relief from the cruelty of our loved ones, but we don’t get to choose these things.

If they were, do ask for clarifications. Believe me, it’s worth suffering a little embarrassment now if it saves you suffering a lot of suffering, later.

Although I’d never be so unchivalrous as to accuse a woman of lying about her age, I do wonder whether Princess really is eighty-three, as she claims.

I made the mistake of growing a beard without seeking my domme’s permission. That session was devoted to removing it: she said tweezers were more effective than a razor blade, and she was memorably right.

Don’t think of it as retirement: think of it as a second childhood filled with misery and terror.

Beware the beast Man, for he is the Devil’s pawn

It’s another science fiction post! Yes, you’re right, there have been many lately. But the future’s big, y’know? As are these posts, as there are always Seven captions, in tribute.