CBT – Contemplating the divine

Woman’s inhumanity to man

Which is obviously fine, humanity being properly reserved for humans not apes or maggots.

I’ve heard the trick is to think about other things, OK? The two weeks will fly by. Now hurry up with that lotion: she’s waiting.

And if you’re *not* actually her 4 o’clock pervert, just go on up anyway. She isn’t particular.

Realistic goals, firm boundaries, severe consequences. Secret of a happy marriage, right?

She’s right, they’re already starting to look ugly and horrible.

Particularly disappointing given the ants’ matriatrchal society. You’d think they’d at least have a nibble… ant cannot live on honey alone.

Even the grimmest, most unpleasant situations can benefit from a little joke, he always used to say.

Incidentally, my captions here often feature the wonderful Mistress Eleise (with whom I had the pleasure and pain in Paris of a session or three) objecting to blonde jokes. But that’s just my invention. Maybe she really likes them, collects them and treasures examples in which the blonde is being particularly dumb? If anyone visits Canada and if she’s still working, do try a few out and let us know how it goes.

Scarlet ladies

Come on – don’t hold back. If you’ve thought of… oh five or six bad things you might have done, just tell her all of them. What’s the harm? Couples *should* share things, so they learn to understand each other better.

No loss, really. You’d look silly on a golf course in your little dress, cap and apron, anyway.

Just for the avoidance of doubt: you should also do that if you *don’t* want to eat straw, now she’s said it.

Don’t worry, it’s not like she can control your thoughts. Just make sure you never express or act upon them, without permission.

Treasure did a convincing job of looking terrified. See if you can do the same when you wake up and they come back and start playing with you. They’ll appreciate that.

Magic moments

Evil witches, beautiful princesses and wicked stepmothers – or best of all, ladies who are all three of those things.

Let’s hope she doesn’t forget you’re there.

So easy to end up with a home full of clutter – have the courage to just throw it all out, the experts say.

You’re not going to live happily or ever after (though it might seem like forever).

She’s perfectly prepared to marry him, of course, and have him installed next to her bedroom. Just nothing unhygienic.

I don’t see why she can’t just pop round to her local dodo butcher and see if they can let her have some. This is Contemplating the Divine, after all, none of it is tethered to tedious reality.

People sometimes get confused when the devils are dressed as angels, but in fact there’s no difference between the two.

Those uncomfortable conversations

Try not to pity her boyfriend too much, abject slave to his desires though he is: he doesn’t know any better, poor soul.

Don’t worry: she’s not really going to change her name to Mrs Pencildick. As a matter of fact, her husband’s the one who’s going to be legally changing his surname. To hers, obviously, although she is considering making him change his *first* name officially to Pencildick, or some such, at the same time.

It’s the same algorithm that sends you all those dick enlargement emails. Oh… you thought they were just spam? No, they’re very carefully targetted. Most other guys don’t get them.

When setting up a session with a new domme I usually ask her to treat me with utter contempt and disdain and I have to say, my experience has been that they’re all startlingly good at it. Sometimes I don’t even ask and they still get it right… I guess experienced dommes develop a kind of sixth sense for what their clients are looking for.

He obviously survived to a ripe old age… imagine him keeping the book all those decades, turning the pages occasionally to reminisce over his days under Miss Rathbone’s loving tyranny, only for the book to be sold to a second-hand shop after his death. Still: looks like it’s found an appreciative home.

…and just a little bit of found femdom to finish (do hurry up and finish, won’t you? Your wife will be back soon and you don’t want her to find you like this). More divine Joy…. who has done this many, many times before and she totally, totally knows…

Without discipline, there’s no life at all

Katharine Hepburn said that. And this [edit] is a picture of Audrey Hepburn, so the picture, like the Hepburns, is unrelated. Thanks to Downlow, low down in the comments for pointing this out. I’ll get me coat…

I’d have to say yes please. Ma’am.

“Readers” with an interest in Hollywood actresses may want to check the blog this coming Sunday. Just saying…

Don’t worry, it’s never too late to fill in any gaps in your schooling. I mean, I went to a school that didn’t have corporal punishment but look at me now.

Like many women, she’s discovered she doesn’t need high heels to come across as assetive and commanding.

I’m not sure she’s taking this seriously enough. She ought to have realised already that you *did* tell them how you felt about it, repeatedly, throughout the nine hours. Not quietly, true, but they were definitely told.

Silly Raoul. I hope he doesn’t feel too embarassed about his mistake, watching her play while busting out all over the place. Maybe she can find some way of cheering him up, in the breaks between sets.

Let the joy enter and fill your whole being.

Unequal sex

It’s the best sort…

I read somewhere that the medical advice on stress has changed. It used to be seen as something for middle aged and older men to avoid, but apparently recent research has shown that repeated stress and anxiety can make men better at all sorts of useful things, that more than compensate for any loss of life expectancy.

I admire Sylvia’s idealism, but isn’t it about time we all just admitted that men are just too stupid for most modern jobs? I mean, nothing personal guys, but we all know it’s true, right? They’re even inventing artificial intelligence now, before the males of the species have managed the natural kind, so really I don’t see the point in trying to catch up. There are lots of things men are better at than women – mostly involving manual drudgery – as long as they’re firmly supervised, so isn’t that enough? Why just set yourself up to fail?

Always difficult, playing with amateurs. Oh well, how bad can it be?

He also consented to several amendments to that agreement, after a few days of marriage. Funny how there’s always a few things you didn’t think of, isn’t it?

…and two extras, why not, both inspired by a recent post by the femdom blogger-in-chief, Paltego on Femdom Resource.

She knows best

So do stop arguing, hmm? It’s very tiresome.

My SO has a very simple system for detecting when I’m lying: she assumes I am unless I can prove otherwise and whips me accordingly. Good thing for me everything on this blog is nothing but the honest-to-Goddess, cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-be-whipped truth.

Whereas disturbed sleep patterns can actually have detrimental long-term consequences, so really this is much better all round.

What’s got purple testicles and screams in agony? Give up?

With thanks to a commenter below, I’ll note that the smiling lady is Mistress Mona Rogers, whose pinned Tweet (X?) reports “it is time to announce my retirement”, alas. I wish her well and hope she still has a great deal to smile about.

Your penis would only very marginally add to the total quantity of penis involved anyway, so it’s really not a problem.

Don’t worry, she’s a very different person from her mother, with completely different ideas on how to treat the man in her life. Equally brutal, true, but different .

Sensual displeasure

My SO called me by the wrong name once… it was a bit difficult: I had to go through all the trouble of changing it legally, so I didn’t have to tell her she was wrong (that can be quite painful), then she remembered and I had to change it back again! Unlike ‘Jerry’ or whatever his name is, I have an entirely unmemorable cock – indeed, women often don’t notice it at all – so that doesn’t help as an aide-memoire. Still, at least I don’t call it ‘sledgehammer’… how embarrassing for him.

Oddly enough, shortly after the Chairman’s ‘business trip’ to the Czech Republic, almost all staff in his company got a pay rise. Women employees did particularly well, taking the female/male pay ratio from 74% to 108%.

Of course, they never forget the Hippocratic oath: first, do no harm, at least not to anyone who doesn’t deserve it or unless you really want to, or it would be funny or something.

There are some very weird fetishes out there. Aren’t you glad you’re normal? I know I am.

Damned lies and sadistics

Guys need to be kept busy, preferably with female oversight, or their attention wanders. There’s no one right way to do it. It could be anything from meticulous housework for that one special lady, through scrubbing the pavements as part of a community-run cleaning squad all the way to five years of hard labour in a male re-education camp. It’s all good.

If you can’t afford a lovely sound-proofed dungeon and you want to enjoy the screams, just have a word with your neighbours. Most will be perfectly happy with the noise, as long as you talk to them about it. And you might even find a common interest!

The lovely Mistress Mina Thorne, of course, about to show off her CBT skills. I’d like to link to her web site but I am not at all sure that this is actually her, as I read somewhere she is retired, sin which case I’m afraid your C and B will just have to be T-ed by someone else. Unless she isn’t retired, in which case they won’t. I expect someone will know?

So you couldn’t even save up a few weeks’ pocket money? No wonder she prefers Harold – I mean, apart from all the other reasons, obviously.


My SO was absolutely furious when I came home once with a prescription for painkillers. She said she felt it devalued the hard work she was putting into our marriage. It was very unfeeling of me, and I have to say I did feel very uncomfortable as a result, for a long time afterwards.

In-laws can take some getting used to and there’s no harm in getting out of the occasional evening with a little white lie, especially if you spend that evening learning to be a better husband.

Category: CBT

Angels and beasts