castration – Contemplating the divine

Men aren’t smart enough to go it alone

As dear old Plum’s Bertie Wooster noted, but even back in the early twentieth century, they were fortunate enough to have women to lead ahead or walk sternly behind them. More Downton domination.

Of course it’s your fault, darling

You’re male aren’t you? Well then.

Many males object to being secured permanently in this way, but it does reduce the stress of uncertainty, don’t you think? Or of her losing the key.

Now, that is so not true. She’s doing a lot… for me, anyway.

Fortunately, boys these days don’t need maths skills to keep track of their orgasms – women are happy to do that for them and the numbers are never that large anyway.

She’s usually generous with her time; doesn’t wind things up immediately just because the session’s reached its scheduled end-time. But you can wait, right? ‘Course you can.

I’m sure he will. She has many unhappy customers.

That looks like a much better-ordered office than the one I started work in, many many years ago, where I had an embarrassing moment on my first day when I discovered that ‘dress code’ didn’t necessarily imply wearing a dress. I think some places just do these things to catch new joiners out, especially very stupid ones like me.

On sunny beaches (12)

How long is Servitor going to remain on holiday, you might ask? You’re asking the wrong person, I’m afraid – I don’t make those decisions and she’s not here.

Foolish things, done with enthusiasm

Many women are reluctant to try a bit of kink, but if you make clear they really get to hurt a man, a surprising number are prepared to give it a go.

Consent’s really important in BDSM. Far too important to be left to males to decide.

Always good in any relationship to have room for improvement, but doubly so in one based on D/S.

Audiences at snip-flicks can be quite intimidating. I remember as a teenager walking past the back door of our local cinema just when the crowd who’d been watching *Rebecca’s Revenge* (remember? A classic of the genre!) spilled out onto the streets. Suddenly swept up in crowd of over-excited young women all laughing and shouting about castration, I was lucky to escape with my dignity.

Treasure has some wicked ideas, but don’t worry: no one who anyone cares about will get hurt.

Of course, even in some forms of traditional sex work, it’s the woman who’s really in charge: mine certainly is, when she has me earning a bit of extra household cash in our local gay bar.

You can’t handle the truth

So here’s some made-up nonsense instead. More implausible accounts from the bleeding edge of World War M. Because no woman is truly free until all men are enslaved.

To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo.

Valerie Solanas said that, bless her little cotton socks.

The male gaze is often directed inappropriately, such as when men attempt to peek away from the wall during corner time. Fortunately, women know of techniques to help us learn not to look where we mustn’t.

They might even try a little roleplay later on.

In Valerie Solanas’s utopia, the testicles themselves would be illegal contraband and confiscated at the border.

In my experience, women really hate it when you lose consciousness during a heavy pain session. And if you think about it, it’s a very selfish thing to do: putting your own needs ahead of hers.

Some men spend their whole lives chasing after beautiful women.

Soon after my marriage I learnt to stop worrying about being whipped and instead learned to worry about whether I was doing everything I could to please my SO. You might see it as a mere semantic distinction, as the two are so closely linked, but I found it helped.

Incidentally, you might be interested to learn that I have discovered the man who holds the best job in the world. Doesn’t look very happy about it, does he? Perhaps he’ll resign and they’ll advertise for a replacement… we can but dream.