The most successful Cruella video? Oh, gotta be Drowning in
piss. Seen it have you? Yeah, just about everyone has. It’s funny, ‘cos it actually all came about
by accident. The sub was supposed to
have this little tube between his cheek and his jaw, so he could keep breathing
even when we shoved piss-sodden panties into his mouth and blocked his nostrils
up with used tampons. But the silly
fucker had put in in the wrong way round so it didn’t work.
It took him quite a while to die, though. I mean, what you see there as we take the
panties out of his mouth and ‘refresh’ them, then shove em back in while he’s
still gasping in air – that’s all real.
We thought he was just acting of course – and it was odd ‘cos he’s
always been fucking hopeless as an actor before. We didn’t realise until his fourth pantie-change,
about half an hour in, when there was a tea break, and we left him gagged up… with the camera on, so
we could get some footage of him writhing around. Then when we came back –
well… you know.
We were a bit worried, but the police came round and when
they saw the contract he’d signed, and we showed them the little tube and how
the little fucker could perfectly well have put it in the right well round and
he’d still be alive, the fucking moron, well they said it was just an
And we were going to destroy the tape (this was before
digital, see) but then Caroline said “Well, why not release it? We could make some money and some good could
come of all of this.” So we put it on
the market, and of course it was one of the very few absolutely legal snuff
movies out there, so it started selling better than anything else we’d got.
And actually, it was when his ex-wife sued for a share of the
profits that we really hit the big time, ‘cos it was in all the papers. For a
while there, it was outselling all our other titles put together. She was a nasty old cow, she was. Kept trying to get us to settle, but we had
these really good lawyers (they were subs, so we didn’t have to pay them) and
the judge took our side. Knew perfectly
well what would happen to him at his next session if he didn’t, didn’t he? Anyway, the video sold out and we had all our
copying machines working 24/7 producing more of them. Made a killing. You know, he’s dying for about – oh 32
minutes or so? – on-screen. From when we first shoved the panties in to when
the coroner reckoned he’d become brain-dead. Well, one of my slaves who’s an
accountant worked out that he earned us £1650 for every second he was dying. Got myself a fur coat – and a sports car.
A bit sad? I don’t see why, to be perfectly honest.
I mean, he was much more valuable dying in agony like that than
continuing to live his sad little life.
Gave a lot of people a lot of pleasure. And his wife didn’t like him at all – she just wanted some money,
grasping old cow. And there’s lots of
subs around, aren’t there? I mean,
I know it sounds a bit dismissive, but really, there are. You can’t get upset about losing
just one of them like that. Wouldn’t
normally notice, even. But he got
famous, even got noticed by quite a few dominant women, didn’t he? They dream of that, don’t they?
Subs. We remember him – can’t say that about many subs.
Hmm? Oh… it’s err… do you know I’ve forgotten?
‘Trevor’, ‘Terry’ maybe. Some sort of
sub name like that. ‘Robin’. That kind of thing, anyway. Maybe ‘Michael’.
Does it matter?
The part of the callous dominatrix in this heartwarming tale was played (in about 1983, I think) by the lovely Linda Leigh, who is probably not at all like this in real life, but really nice and kind. Although I hope she isn’t.