abduction – Contemplating the divine

The meaning of my life is she, she

Oh, she. Warning: SFW material at the link entirely unrelated to femdom porn.

It’s always difficult, the morning after a first date, if the girl says she doesn’t want to see you again. But he’ll move on.

Another truth: be particularly careful if one of them ‘happens’ to have a roll of duct tape in her handbag.

Wow, what an opportunity! Because being pathetic is something I’m *really* good at.

your heart would have responded / Gaily, when invited, beating obedient /
To controlling hands

It’s actually not that radical a change. All men will still be considered to be created equal, endowed with life and the pursuit of female happiness.

She’s so fine, there’s no tellin’ where the money went

Another totally forgettable song from that pointless 80s guy, having his career saved by the goddesses in his videos. Is it just me, or does the goddess annoyingly hidden by his left shoulder (reminder for male readers: his left is our right) at about 3.30 look like she’s thinking about something else? And the goddess on the second row far left (our left, boys… not that difficult) just looks embarrassed throughout.

Oddly enough, if you really understood her plan, you wouldn’t be worried about the animal in the middle there, but about the teddy bear to the right. I don’t want to spoil the surprise – just consent, and you’ll find out soon enough.

There’s also ‘lucky dip’, where he gets to spin a wheel marked with the numbers one to five at the start of each week. But – shhhh! – if his patroness wants that spin to result in a particular outcome… well, that’s doable, if you know what I mean.

Some people are like that – they’ll just drop everything if someone else asks. She can actually be quite assertive, so don’t assume this is typical. She’s no doormat. He is, but that’s more a literal description than a judgement of his character.

Ungrateful little sod. You’d think he’d be pleased to get out and stretch his… his… well, whatever part or parts of his anatomy are about to be stretched, I suppose.

Try to be worthy of the honour.

Cries of pain are music for her banquet

A quote, or nearly so, from George Eliot, who shamefully had to pretend to be a man to get published. What an embarassment that must be, for a woman. Do you suppose she had to make spelling mistakes, miss deadlines and generally dumb down in correspondence with her publisher, just to appear authetically male?

Still, the quotation is rather a lovely image, isn’t it? Here are some more.

Her impotence treatment works every time – it’s a remarkable medical breakthrough, actually.

She seems nice. What a shame you’re nothing special. Better luck in Somalia.

She’s such a sweet person, wouldn’t hurt a fly in real life. Still: she’ll flog him bloody and then piss on the wounds, because that’s the kind of professional she is. Then go and have dinner with Dave and maybe a cuddle before bed.

Castration manga is actually a great way to interest girls in comic books, because it’s using the medium to speak to issues that concern them as women, you know? Also: it’s just a lot of fun, obviously.

He was quite fat when they started training him. Still some way off the target weight of zero that they are aiming for, but he’ll get there. In fact, he’s going to lose a whole bunch of weight all in one go next Thursday: they just haven’t told him yet.