What matters in life

And who.

Don’t worry: as long as it’s perfect, you’ll be fine.
They do say a change is as good as a rest but clearly ‘they’ have never had nipple clamps pointlessly snapped off and then clipped back on again.
Sometimes a young person will see something and simply think: ‘Yes, this – this – is what I want to spend the rest of my life doing’.
The staff there are all experienced in pain management, but Nurse Stevens is the real expert.
He might have misunderstood what ‘room and board’ meant at the OWK.
Kitten likes her men to be healthy. Except some of the older richer ones, who have redrafted their wills to better reflect their true wishes.

Honestly brutal

Don’t worry, she’ll let you out to check emails and your phone. In three weeks’ time.
I actually can’t think of anything I could do with a sex worker that would be more humiliating than attempting sex with her.
She needs you to practise the moves for your little dance routine at the reception, too.
There were too many pettifogging rules before, everyone said. If I pay to watch girls kicking someone (and I would), I don’t want them having to worry constantly about exactly what is being kicked and how hard.
Emily can be quite impressive – indeed, former guests often wake up at night screaming her name.
It’s going to be a holiday of a lifetime, for him. For Kitten, it’s just going to be a Tuesday, and not a particularly interesting one.

Reproachful words

As Wittgenstein remarked: of that of which she does not permit us to speak, we can say nothing without severe consequences.
Mittens won’t eat that muck, apparently. But then cats are allowed to be picky eaters, unlike slaves, and it’s not as if they can force him to eat it.
Often the way, isn’t it, when couples get together? The wives find they have far more in common than do the husbands.
Poor Amelia, I expect she’s been worrying. Let’s hope she’s not too upset.
Advice to a US sub visiting the UK: if you’re asked what you’d like to do in session and you want a golden shower, try asking the domme if you can ‘take the piss’. If she looks surprised, tell her you’ve been taking the piss out of dommes for years and you’ve seen her website and reckon you can take the piss out her, too
.

The lovely Tiffany Naylor, of course, who enlivens the otherwise unlively town of Milton Keynes, or she did at one point, anyway.

Like many stars who get confused with their characters by fans, she was annoyed at first but she’s learnt to lean into it. ‘Oh, you loved me in Mean Girls? Great… and does your girlfriend like the movie too? Oh, really – no one at all? Well, I’m not surprised with a face like that, what a sad little loser…” and so on. It’s a lot less effort for her than it is for the exalted Ms Gadot, whose fans expect a booted kick to the face.

Formidable femmes

Maybe she’s planning to put a little post-it note on the fridge or something.
They say that after a while you go numb and can’t feel the pain any more. But then she’s planning to winch you out and warm you up.
I suppose it’s a rather half-hearted approach to consent, but then their victim is a rather half-hearted approach to a human being.
Subs prefer blondes who don’t care what their subs prefer.
Oh, the poor thing. I hope she’s not badly hurt. Reminds me of the time I scuffed the toes of my SO’s new Dr Maarten boots quite badly, by bashing them repeatedly with my stomach. She wasn’t happy about it, I can tell you.
Women just aren’t as obsessive about these things as we men.

Baby watch her eyes, you better watch her eyes

Anything you feel swelling up underneath you when you’re being spanked over Dave’s lap should be kept strictly as a secret between you and him, OK? It’s a guy thing: no need for her to know.
Fashion photographers can be so annoying. Just ask the ladies in this sweet little scene..
I mean, she’d never actually do it, right? You know that, right? ‘Course you do. So stop dithering and let her strap you down.
And your orgasms are even specialer, being so rare.
First goddess in my life, maybe…. I mean, I liked The Damned too, and The Undertones but… Ah, to be looked at, the way she looks at Kermit.

And here’s Captain Sensible performing ‘Wot’ on French TV, because pourquoi pas?

Men think of castration in such all-or-nothing terms, that’s the problem.

Compulsive order

Topping from the bottom again? You’d think he’d have learnt by now. Well… I’m sure she doesn’t want to hurt him any more than is strictly necessary, but there do have to be consequences for that kind of defiance.
I know it’s an established trope that women get annoyed when men come too quickly, but back when I was still dating, I found they didn’t mind at all. Most never even realised it had happened, actually.
It’s a horrible feeling when you realise you’ve locked yourself out. Not one that’s happened to me for years, I’m happy to say, as my SO much prefers the approach of keeping me locked in.
Actually, later she and her friends came up with many more humiliating marks, but they’re young and just getting started in the ways of womanhood, bless ’em.
In the event they wouldn’t bend the rules: they were OK taking him, but they insisted on the full six months quarantine. Which posed a dilemma: on the one hand, she was only going to be there for the two-week holiday, so that seemed a bit excessive, but on the other he was being very irritating.
Their relationship was much deeper and more meaningful than one based on knowing who the fuck he was, or noticing anything he did. But doesn’t Babs look fabulous in black? Even if he accomplished nothing else in life – and as far as she knows, he didn’t – except giving her an opportunity to wear it after his death, that’s a meaningful life well-lived, right?

Boy, you’re going to carry that weight

So don’t argue.

Don’t worry if you find the conversation about sex a little embarrassing – it’ll be very quick (although not quite as quick as the sex was).
You’ll observe that she’s holding an electric shocker remote in her left hand, which gives me confidence he’ll respond enthusiastically and with appropriate gratitude.
Lots of ladies send their sissies out proudly displaying every bruise they’ve been given, but Mrs Thornton’s more old-fashioned about that sort of thing.
It’s like a two-key system. But with only one key, obviously.
Slaves with bad knees who would find all-fours pony play particularly painful should always mention that in their OWK application forms, so the Ladies can take that into account when deciding on the activities. It’s like informing them of phobias about spiders or enclosed spaces: they always like to know.
Quite a few MPs found themselves subjected to an intense lobbying campaign, over this bill. Very intense indeed.

Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins

Ah, the Bible is such a great source of vaguely pervy-sounding quotes. As are the collected works of Leopold Sacher-Masoch, for that matter. I just take inspiration from where I can get it.

There’ll be other opportunities. I’m sure all that worrying won’t go to waste.
I’m proud to say that I’ve never paid for sex in my life. Quite the oppposite, if anything.
She could ask you to finish the story for her, but she doesn’t want to embarass you unduly on the first day of your married life together.
Any male visitors suggesting their holy book is a modern fake will be scourged severely. But then, all male visitors get scourged severely anyway, so…
Her rule is that you can specify any limits you like in the email but if it’s NOT in the email, it’s fair game. And she’s a lot more creative than most of her clients, so she manages to have plenty of fun whatever the constraints.
He should be reassured: Anya’s something of an expert on testicular damage.

When you see someone putting on her Big Boots, you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen

There’s a theme today. See if you can guess what it is.

Looks like she’s come well prepared for the performance review. That’s so important.
Hmm… I mean, if food tastes strongly of leathery, sweaty boot, is it technically vegetarian? Probably best not to argue, but…
Thank goodness for that.
Actually, she won’t mind if he’s not a brave boy. She can be quite easygoing like that.

This is the lovely Mistress Vixen; you probably recognised her already from her very distinctive hair.

We fucked-up weirdos can be very annoying. Fortunately, it’s OK to take it out on us.
No, no, of course not.