Hot and unbothered

People talk a lot about objectification, but really there’s nothing wrong with getting off on the sight of a lovely pair of eyes going all red and tearful as the soap gets rubbed in.



If it’s hurting it’s working.





‘Ignoring it’ is something that happens a lot so maybe sterner measures are needed.

She’ll be having enough orgasms for both of you – it’s her generous nature.









Tearful conversations

Anybody else want to negotiate?




It’s recreational for her, anyway – although there’s a serious element to it too. 




I wonder what the OWK Ladies would have done, had the wall not come down in 1989 and no Velvet Revolution occurred?  Oh, they’re so talented I am sure they have found some kind of niche within the totalitarian system where their skills could be useful, but it would have been very different.

Just try to think unsexy thoughts while they do it.  Reading this blog should give you some ideas.

Once again, I do have a bit of a gripe here.  I mean, sometimes it’s “I want the truth and I’m going to keep on increasing the voltage until I get it’ and next it’s ‘Keep your nasty little opinions to yourself.’  It just doesn’t always seem entirely fair, is all I’m saying, but I suppose it’s best not to complain.


Dressed to oppress

Desires are OK.  You’re welcome to have desires.  But they’re not needs.


I don’t feel very masculine.  But then I never do.





OK, better humour her. I hope she does actually know the way, though – there’s nothing worse than asking someone on the street for directions, and you get into a conversation and it turns out they don’t really know.




She’s right, but even the saddest, loneliest life can be lit up by Joy.

Actually, she’s wrong about that – you don’t need to learn to control yourself, not now she’s around.

Despotic imagery

Wow.  My personal best is two and a half. Admittedly, I’ve only tried once.

Swings and roundabouts…

I expect there’ll be laughter and tears as well, to come.

Technically speaking, he’s actually the Right Honourable Pookie, QC.  But he doesn’t stand on ceremony, as you can probably tell.*

She’s always taken an interest in young, struggling actors.

* No, this is a different Pookie.

Harsh sentences

 The ureasonable thing would be to tolerate disobedience, surely?

They might put on a lesbian show for you, if you’re lucky.
He gets to eat the grape first. Yum.

Dommes and their pets.  I visited a pro-domme once and I got a scary thrill when she asked if I could pick up a tin of catfood on the way.  But it just turned out to be for her cat!  Slaves get dogfood; it’s less fatty apparently although it has always seemed pretty fatty to me.  Anyway, I’m sure Fluffles gets a healthy diet.
Oooh – looks like someone’s going to try switch play!  He shouldn’t worry, though: she’s only planning to switch roles once.


It’s as far as I can take it.

Do you think you could ask him to slow down for just a moment while I write the captions under the pictures? No?  OK, well, I’ll do my – ouch, that was a deep one! – I’ll do my best. 

Sounds like someone’s having a bad day.  Who’d have thought being sissy maid to a sadistic perfectionist would be so difficult?
Trick question.  You need a lot more and she’s waiting for you to tell her that.  It’s a Mars/Venus thing, just go with it.

Her sister rebelled against the whole female supremacy thing.  Lives with a guy in Brighton and she lets him have his own pocket money and she even helps out occasionally with the housework.  Still, each to their own.

What a very sharp observation.


… and very nice too*

All the ways I could be a better husband?  Wow.  I think I’m going to need two days locked in the stocks, at least.

What a lot of fuss, about a routine operation.  You’d think I was the first person whose tonsils she’d removed.  I… hang on… didn’t I have my tonsils out when I was a teenager? 
Oh, don’t worry: I’ll keep looking. I might cry a little, if that’s OK.

She insists on her tea being just the way she likes it. Also the ironing, bed corners, washing up, bookshelves, underwear drawer, bath, breakfast, ornaments, cushions, carpets, gin & tonic, shoes, lawn, floor tiles, nail polish, ….
The splendidly-named Miss Hunter, on whose wall I would love to end up as a trophy.

Many dommes find the things we submissives do disgusting.  That’s why they so enjoy hitting us.

* but if anyone happens to be able to locate the scene in the British sitcom Game On (rather a lovely ‘situation’: sad male failures share flat with goddess) in which Samantha Janus rushes around putting her make-up on to this song, I’d be most grateful.

I stand to be corrected

… or I bend over, or I just wriggle slightly in the bonds, making little mmphing pleading sounds.

There are no ‘behavioural problems’, only behavioural opportunities, my SO always says.  And I agree with her.

What many men who dabble in men’s lib don’t get is how profoundly offensive it is to women, to suggest that the sexes are equal.  I mean, how do you think she’d feel, to be told she’s no better than…  well… you?

Hypothermia play!  Mmmm….

Actually, I’m more of a leg man.  So, with a bit of luck…. oh dear.

Customs change – what was acceptable in times gone by is profoundly offensive nowadays.  I went to a stage show the other night which featured an on-stage spanking and I just cringed. I wasn’t even in the front row either – how come I always get picked?

Thigh five

… which is obviously a made-up phrase.  Oddly, though, there are many two-word phrases in the English language beginning with the word ‘thigh’ and every single one of them is erotic. Strange but true. 

Unlike, say, the words ‘rancid’ or ‘viscous’, unless you’re really weird and we don’t like weirdos on this blog, thank you very much.

You can do anything*, but don’t wank on my black suede boots. 

* No you can’t.

You might imagine that this young lady is headed for a stellar career as a professional dominatrix, but as things turned out she actually became the head of Ryanair’s Customer Complaints department.  So there you go.

Dave’s need is greater than yours. Well.. his cock certainly is, anyway.
It’s OK as long as I keep my mind off all thoughts sexual
Ocasionally, when I have an idea for a caption, I’ll worry that one of the many, many other femdom caption sites on the Internet will already have done it. This one, not so much.


I’m sure he’d like to count the days.  Unfortunately, they keep the facility on a random sleep-eat-exercise-sleep cycle lasting anything from four to 48 hours, so he’ll have no idea how much time has passed.  Which is just as well, because she’s not actually going to be back in six months: that’s just a little white lie to avoid hurting his feelings.

I had this idea because I’m going diving next week.  But don’t worry – I’m not being fed to the sharks!  It’s all very safe.  My SO and I are going with these two lesbian friends of hers, one of whom is going to be my ‘dive buddy’.  It’s her job to check my tank has enough air, as well as to ensure the proper amount of lead weights are securely attached around my belt, wrists, ankles and neck.  So, yeah: perfectly safe.

It’s good to be a dog.

The pain from the spikes is all about her, too.

I made a similar point to my SO just the other day – wouldn’t it be better some time if I felt sorry of my own accord, instead of her having to make me feel sorry?  But after quite a vigorous discussion, I realised what a bad idea it was.

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