gloves – Contemplating the divine

A bit of harmful fun

Some might say it’s too late for that but every little helps.

“Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.”

OK, so it seems I’ve used this one before. Extra captioned image now posted below, with thanks to an anonymous commenter who isn’t femsup for spotting it. If it’s any consolation, seven of the forty-three clauses in that contract do have that exact same text – just to make sure.

Makes a change from the more traditional British party games, like ‘Musical gimp’.’Spin the gimp’ or (my personal least favourite) ‘Pin the tail on the gimp.’

Sometimes the wisest thing for our forces of law and order to do is to hold back and watch the males truly fuck things up, as only a male can. Teachable moment, here.

Another teachable moment. What an educational post it’s been today. See you next time.

Or see you right now for that extra image I promised!

Apparently it works better than caffeine.

Turn it on again

Yes, it’s the latest in the increasing desperate series of posts using titles from songs that somehow include a version of the word ‘turn’. It’s driving me mad, just another way of passing the day.

As in ‘turning points‘.

A good hard marriage

… that’s what most men need.

She’s getting mixed signals here. Fortunately, the ones she’s giving are entirely consistent.

Thank goodness for that.

My own SO avoids this problem by only fucking guys who despise me. Fortunately, that doesn’t restrict her freedom of action at all.

Honestly, given the choice between fucking her and fucking you, it’s hard to see how anyone could prefer not to play it straight. But some guys have weird sexual preferences. I’ve heard.

Actually, I have a funny story about a pair of masturbation gloves and some nettles. Well… it was funny at the time, anyway. For her.

The nymphs tread out their ground, fa la

.. for now is the month of Maying. Fa la la la la la la la.

A latex-shining session? Pah – that’s practically vanilla. You’ve got a proper femdom activity booked, you have, so go ahead and enjoy every authentic moment of it.

That’s a shame, as the date was going quite well up to that point. Maybe they’ll leave you their phone numbers.

My SO is fine with me deciding for myself what I want to eat when we go out to a restaurant. She doesn’t usually let me have it, of course.

Don’t worry, she’s only planning to shoot to wound. Much more fun that way.

The shapely ankles and calves within these elegant boots belong to Miss Chambers, of Cruella fame. Now if only we could see her lovely, lovely nose too.

That’s a good clause. I have it tattooed on me, just in case I ever forget.

Oh, and as a little bonus, I just discovered this delightful thing and felt compelled to share it.

#Chris Pine from Entertainment Weekly

Dressed to repress

She’s actually very tolerant – it takes a lot to get her to lose her temper. Backchat, obviously. Disobedience too… and laziness, of course, as well as forgetfulness and ingratitude. Anyway, what I’m saying is that you’ll quite often find yourself not being slapped, even when there might be cause to, so there’s really very little to complain about when you are. Even if she permitted complaining. Which she doesn’t.

Yeah, first gay sex experience is always going to be a bit daunting. Once you get through that first time, you can just relax and enjoy the rest of the evening. It won’t be long before you’re a very experienced player, having enjoyed so many sex partners, you’ll have forgotten that just a few hours before you were a virgin.

Sounds fun… expensive, but worth it.

I found I simply didn’t have time for TV sports any more, after getting married. Busy busy busy.

Toss a coin?

Painfully accurate

Thank goodness for that. Generally, this blog disapproves of the use of painkillers on men – just seems wrong and counterproductive, somehow – but this could be an exception.

It’s for her book club. They’re meeting here this week, I think – you still OK to serve the snacks?

Just goes to show it’s not all about the money.

Oooh… romantic evening ahead!

Angghwagh Mughwough!

The thing

You know – the thing that’s going on. That thing. Here are some hurriedly thrown together captions about the thing.

You see, it’s just like I always say. Everything is femdom.

Even the thing.

So… those are my captions about the thing. Now, as I’m just sitting around at home all day, these days, I’ll just get back to reading the Trip to Matilda’s story on Freddie’s blog. Which I am enjoying a lot, actually. You might too, who knows? Only one way to find out, isn’t there?

Subjectivity

Noun: the state of being a subject. That used to be me but now I’m more objective.

No great loss, right?

Somehow it still feels like I’m on the leash, even when I’m not. Strange, that.

I rolled a six this month! But apparently “rules are made to be broken”! Not her usual attitude to rules, I have to say… but that’s women for you. Bless ’em.

She’s already being the best wife she can. That’s why you’re wearing the shock collar.

My brain hurts. Sorry: I think I’m just too male today to understand this one. Something about a hash? Is she talking about breakfast?

Boys will be toys

Maybe I’m just hungry… I expect she’d say that’s because she’s feeding me too often.

Lots of men find it quite hard to turn a woman on, sexually, but if you’re ever lucky enough to meet a real hard-core sadist, you’ll probably find that just doing whatever comes naturally pushes all her buttons in just the right way.

And she’s having sex for both of you now, so it’s quite a lot of work.

Nasty words can leave an unpleasant taste in the mouth.

Bob’s shortlisted for an Oscar, I understand, now. If he wins, I wonder if he’ll put the credit where it is due in his acceptance speech? Behind every successful man, they say…