Rigorous relationships

“Because I say so” is actually the best reason of all, I’ve found.
I’ve heard that ‘smelly feet’ is actually one of the flavours in those Harry Potter jelly beans, but you have to eat a lot of raspberry and cherry and other such pointless flavours while looking for one.
She hasn’t even got that right: that helmet’s definitely from the Franco-Prussian War of 1870. Do you think I should tell her?
Don’t worry: there’ll be lots of chances to apologise during and – taking an optimistic view of how it goes – after, too.
Surely you wouldn’t sacrifice your deeply held commitment to the principles of men’s lib, just to get into a relationship with a pretty woman? Because that would be shallow and demeaning.  Wouldn’t it?

Yanking my chain

Don’t you hate it when she does that?


Nah, same old. Just got a new hood that’s all – and some fresh whip-marks.




Models have something of a reputation for aggressive behaviour, which is often quite undeserved, sad to say. 




To be honest, if I had to choose my perversion, there are probably easier options than being submissive.  But fortunately I cannot choose and as a submissive I’d rather not anyway.





Many brides can be a bit on edge during the big day – the whole ‘bridezilla’ thing, you know?  Just humour her… soon you’ll have tied the knot and can settle down to a lifetime of married bliss.






Hmm.  Seems a bit unprofessional, to have mixed up the creams like that.  Probably best not to complain, though.





Delightfully despotic

Better do as she says.  But with dignity, right?  Always with dignity.

 

 

 

For those of you objecting that getting an erection is a natural reaction to the situation, merely an expression of sexual desire, should realise that exactly the same argument applies to her giving you powerful electric shocks.

She needn’t hurry.  This isn’t going to be over any time soon.  Not ever, actually.

 

 

She’s not saying it’s a hard limit, mind.

 

 

 

Maybe since she broke her side of the bargain, you should ask for all the presents back? It’s only fair.  Admittedly, fairness has never really been big in this relationship.

 

Stocking fillers

Always such a rush… I mean, you wait all year for Christmas, then…

 

 

Many submissive men are rather bad at shorthand, which is a shame as most dominant ladiies really enjoy dictating.

 

 

I once jokily asked a domme if she did ‘big penis humiliation’ – and rather to my surprise she said she did, although as it turned out most of the actual work in-session was done by her friend Marcus.

 

 

No, no… don’t make me sniff that stinky stocking, Brer Mistress!

 

 

 

If you’re crying more often than you’re coming you’ve reached next-level sub status. Either that or you’re much too young to be reading this blog.


Superior sex

 She is it, and she also has it.


Perhaps you should discuss her salary expectations soon, as I think right now they are increasing rapidly.


She uses ‘cruelty free’ cosmetic products but I’m afraid that attitude extends only to animals. Non-human animals, I mean.


The system is open to abuse by women seeking to save money on nursing care for their elderly male relatives unfortunately. But a recent inquiry into the prevalence of false accusations of crminal sexism concluded (a) that it was not so very high and (b) that the old bastards probably deserved it anyway. So that’s all right.


Imagine putting her to so much trouble. And he calls himself submissive…


The lady visting OWK in this pastoral scene is Goddess Sophia, whose cages, canes and (most memorably) gloriously swishy rubber dress Servitor has had the honour to experience – and can thoroughly recommend to UK-based subs. She may or may not still be in business and is not the lady of the same name in Portsmouth, who I am sure is equally lovely.

I imagine Douglas knows many things they don’t… lots of secret little thoughts.







There’s a two-legged animal running about

 … but if it’s kneeling down on one knee, I reckon things are probably OK.


It can be more complicated for them to find better quality ‘playmates’, as those are often reported as missing after a while.  Which isn’t a problem – she’s even had some minor celebrities who’ve disappeared into her playroom – but it’s an added complication.


With a bit of luck, maybe Pookie will get bored of having monthly orgasms after a while and stop trying so hard.  Then it’ll be your turn.  Just give it time.


Looks like you have an extra 45 minutes free!  Whatever will you do with it?  Ironing, dusting… the possibilities are almost endless (within the very limited range of things you’re permitted to do, obviously).  Later on, it looks like there’ll be quite a lot of chocolate stains to clean up, so best to get ahead on the regular chores.




She’s enjoying it in a non-sexual way… and if you’re as exhausted and sore as she implies, you’re probably hating it in a non-sexual way too.  So that’s very compatible.



She’s quite tender-hearted, so she’ll be upset when she comes back from her next trip to the forest but I expect Vanya 2 can cheer her up.







Mocking the weak

 Some scenes we’d like to see.


Reminds me of my very first date… the girl I was with kept on comparing my penis size with that of this other guy she knew.  Or maybe she’d never met him before… I don’t know actually.  He was a bit embarrassed about the whole situation, but she offered him a blow job so he went along with it.




Now you are an grown man and have put childish things behind you.   Haven’t you?



There are lots of things I’m better at than I am at sex.  In fact, almost an infinite number.




Oh I don’t know.  Seems to me to have done pretty well.  Anyway, you never know, they might get back together now they’ve found a modus vivandi.





Plenty of orgasms in that household. Does one more or less per month really make that much of a difference?


She’s also beautiful when she’s not angry

 … but it’s not quite as much fun.


You might find you get to like it.  Or you might not.  She doesn’t really care, so why should you?

Divine Mistress Heather and her divine feet and divine attitude.



When she says ‘using it’ she doesn’t mean… you know.  Not in public, that would be disgusting.  Anyway, it hasn’t been three months yet, has it?




She gets bored and loses track of time, poor thing.  I expect she’ll get better at it, eventually.




Sounds like she’s got a tough decision to take.  I hope it doesn’t keep her from having a good night’s sleep.



I expect you’ve been wondering how some glammed-up domme could simply walk into a police station, with a client in a pink latex dress, march straight past the officers on duty, put the client in a cell and walk out without anyone challenging her, right?  I certainly have been.  I guess we’ll never know.


A few bad men

Let’s hope she learns from this little conundrum.  An espresso machine prepared and ready to go just within button-pressing reach of a pilloried hand and she can have her aching, tearful, regretful husband and a freshly brewed cup, both at the same time. 




Most of the choices I face are no-brainers, which all the women who have ever known me would probably agree is just as well.

Princess Kali, there – lovely and an accomplished author too.



She could even theme your confession with the outfit by putting the lasso of truth around you. That would be a nice, gentle start to what is about to happen.


 

Let’s hope the greeting ritual she chooses is number 17.  I’m particularly good at that one.

 


 

Come on… you’ve got this.  Two pawns down is nothing – you started with ten of them, right?  Something like that.  Try moving one of the little horsey ones.

More in indifference than in anger

Actually, female spiders eat their mates in only a minority of spider species and you’re in luck – the one that bit her is not from one of them.  So I’m not even sure why she’s doing this, actually, but I’m sure if you point that fact out she’ll let you go.

 


Actually, the company medical plan does cover males but only for a few, specified surgical procedures.

 

 

 

Just go with it, see where it takes you.  She’s not going to rush anything, plenty of time.

 

You might develop a foot fetish, eventually.  And if you can develop a fetish for doing chores too you should have a very enjoyable marriage.  Oh – and findom, too.  Yeah, you definitely want to try to get into findom because there’s going to be a lot of that.
 
 
 

Irony… it’s like rain on your wedding day – which actually isn’t all that ironic, it’s just bloody uncomfortable, take it from me, especially when you’re chained up naked outside the church waiting for the bride.