gag – Contemplating the divine

To err is male

… to chastise, divine.

Well… at least until it stops stretching, obviously. Otherwise why go to all that trouble?

She’s smiling but she’s crying inside. Don’t make this harder for her.

Thank goodness (and her) for that.

My SO generally prefers me to be silent – except when I’m strapped down onto the whipping bench, when she usually removes my gag. It’s her opportunity to hear how how I’m feeling.

Lots of older men seek to relive their youth, with attractive young women. Looks like Timmy has hit the jackpot.

Docility

“the fact or quality of being easily handled, managed, or led; meek and unquestioning obedience or compliance”

Obviously. Let’s hope Jennie’s getting better at it, now she’s onto her fourth try.

It’s one of those logical impossibilities – you know, like ‘a man saying “all men are lying, cheating bastards'”. Male philosophers used to debate these things endlessly, but I understand they are kept busy with more important, practical tasks these days.

I don’t think he objects to being inside the couch, it’s more that he was expecting to be alone in there.

Mrs Elton’s a good neighbour, anyway – happy to pop round and help out whenever your wife needs a hand.

Topping from the bottom can take many forms – all equally objectionable. When my SO plays with me, for instance, there’s often a very fine line between “pleading frantically for mercy through the screams” – which she enjoys – and “expressing an opinion on when she should stop hitting me”, which she dislikes intensely.

This is the lovely Vinyl Queen, who is in the lucky position of never having experienced the unpleasantness that is Servitor in session and is relatively unlikely to move to Edinburgh, being based as she is in San Francisco. Her other interest is gardening.

Tender moments

I am in their loyalty programme. I get to pay more when I book flights, as I accumulate points they demand ever more expensive gifts and on board I am treated with extra contempt.

I expect you’ll want to evaluate this proposition quite carefully. I mean, that’s a lot of money to lend someone you barely know, just on the strength of… on the strength of… sorry, what were we talking about?

I can multi-task! I can flounce and simper, both at the same time.

As story-writers say, don’t tell: show.

Oh, I don’t know. There are advantages. For one thing, it’s not one of those wildly unrealistic fetishes that’s completely divorced from real life. For example, I am actually a lazy, worthless and sexually unattractive male, deserving the contempt the women I know barely bother to conceal. So I can live the dream, so to speak.

Ghastly perversions

She finds she meets interesting people when she walks you in the park. And tedious but enslaveable ones too.

She’s a very spiritual person, as you can tell.

I don’t know what the bad things were in my brain that the doctor removed but there must have been a lot of them, because it’s very empty now. Thank goodness I have a loving wife to remember things for me.

The taste of ‘shut the fuck up’ will always be associated for me with the sharp, painful feeling of ‘because I say so’.

Or he won’t. Whatever.

Hurtful thoughts

I think writing lines is a ridiculous and pointless, tedious activity and there are few things I hate doing more than writing lines for hours at her command. I told her that just the other day. 500 times, in fact.

I did an interview once. Check it out if you want to find out about the real Servitor, behind the leather mask. Don’t read it if the thought of knowing the real Servitor makes you nauseous.

Ooh – looks like there might be a consciousness-raising session coming on!

There wasn’t much to begin with.

I often have ‘plenty to complain about’. Regretably, I’m not allowed so it all goes to waste.

Back in harness

So, here we are. Back from my fabulous tour of the Greek islands. Well… I assume we toured the Greek islands. There aren’t actually any windows in the middle galley deck of a trireme, so I am not quite sure, but we definitely went from one place to another, sometimes quite fast. We had some lovely tour guides, who encouraged us along, while this big bald guy played a drum (somewhat repetitively in my view, but even the most sophisticated musical talent has to begin somewhere I suppose). These tour guides didn’t speak any English, but they managed to get their message across quite effectively.

I hope you all had a good time while I was gone. Back to normal, as from today.

I quite liked this one. Why should safewords only work in one direction?

If I got the chance, that is.

I hope she realises that we submissives need to stick together.

There are many words that sound like bitch. Very few that sound like cattle prod. Or feel like one.

Indeed we don’t. Not after the last time.

Suffering fools

Gladly or otherwise.

I never want to be more than two paces behind… for the rest of my life.

I hate having to disturb her when she’s working. But I can’t just take money from her purse without permission, so…

Tony gets steak and chips… not fair, I say. But then he does have a night of vigorous sexual activity ahead of him, so I suppose he needs the calories.

Sometimes they get a babysitter, but if they’re not going out until 7.30 or so, it’s easier just to put Paul to bed half an hour early. I mean it’s not like anything can go wrong, with his mittens fastened to the sides of the cucky-drawer.

Aparently, a lot of condemned prisoners have women writing to them offering sex. I don’t think that’s going to happen to him, though.

Strap, shackle and crop

…it wakes me up every time.

…and don’t forget to say a Hail Mary. She’s called Mary.

Very economical.

A good way for a sub to ensure he never says anything disrespectful is to cultivate a habit of only thinking devoutly respectful thoughts. It takes a lot of mental training, but it’s worth it. For a quicker solution, the same effect can be achieved just by beating the crap out of him if he speaks out of turn, or keeping him permanentlty gagged, so most dommes just go with one of those. And really, who are you to argue?

This is Divine Mistress Heather, seen from one of her many very lovely angles.

She has ideas about how to conduct their weekly performance reviews too.

It’s a good thing neither of them’s gay.

Masculinity is a treatable medical condition.

Look, I do understand the hypocrisy involved in my advancing political opinions, but can I just comment on this view going around that Trump’s election is in some way a consequence of ‘political correctness’?

Trump was elected merely because of a ridiculous quirk in the US electoral system, that might have made sense in the eighteenth century but has no relevance to the modern world: namely, that men are allowed to vote. The country basically voted 54% to 42% for Clinton, before all those male votes were taken into account and it’s absurd this should have been allowed to distort the result. Sure, it’s nice to let men feel they can take part, but to actually let them cast ballots unsupervised is just political correctness gone mad, and now we have to live with the consequences.

I mean, honestly, you wouldn’t let a man make decisions about the family finances, or how best to iron your blouse or what time he goes to bed, would you? So why on earth would you let him have a say in choosing the President?

Doesn’t make sense to me. But then, I am ‘chromosomally challenged‘* so what do I know?

(* and yes, I am using that politically correct phrase ironically. What’s wrong with just saying ‘a stupid boy‘ for goodness sake? When did we stop calling things what they are?)

Thank goodness things round here are still sane and matriarchal.

She seems to be controlling his masculinity problem nicely.

She loves her work. You will too.

I think she’s recognising that his behaviour has been causing pain in their marriage – but not quite enough pain.

I wonder how the consultant goes about measuring her?

Secondary sexual characteristics – they’re even more annoying than the primary ones, sometimes. Fortunately, a simple surgical procedure can deal with both at the same time.

Category: gag

Idol thoughts