Some more very bad attempts to create magazine covers. Just ignore me and I’ll probably stop doing this, out of embarassment, sooner or later.
Prank-mags
Category: whimpering in adoration
She builds you up just to put you down
Forceful females, meek males
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| Oh dear. You had one job… Well, OK, you had several jobs if you count all the chores and you even had two jobs at a time during the spit-roasting bit but you know what I mean. |
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| It’s their ‘rattan’ anniversary. |
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| Maybe she should. I hope she makes her mind up quickly rather than dithering about it… odd, because she’s usually very decisive. |
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| The extra said yes – well, of course he did – but sadly the scene was cut from the movie. He has developed quite a successful career though and has now had several minor speaking roles. He was “Squeaky-voiced guy in elevator” in one of the recent Marvel movies, for instance. |
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| It’s the way she tells them. |
Leaders of men
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| Girls can play so rough…. |
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| If it helps you bear the discomfort, today’s actually the best day because from tomorrow there’ll be sand in it too. Not deliberately, but you know how it gets everywhere. |
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| She’s not going to bother asking him what he thinks his biggest flaw is. Anyway, that’s for her to decide. |
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| Her eyes are up there. And they’re looking into your soul. |
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| You can see yourself out. |
Heroine addiction
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| My SO says I’m a sore loser and I indeed, I usually am. |
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| She’ll forget, so why shouldn’t he? |
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| She’s shortly to embark on an exciting project to test the effect of repeated applications on saliva on shoe-leather, just as soon as she secures the funding. |
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| I’ve been declared mentally incapable – physically too, come to think of it – by many women, but never formally. |
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| She seems very relaxed about the thought of all that jerking-off. I suppose it made her and Patty a lot of money… but it’s not as if they deliberately encourage it, is it? Oh look, here’s a short clip from the second movie. Just put it on repeat if it’s not quite long enough for you. |
Who loves the sun?
I do! After a miserable rainy May, we now have bright sunshine chez elle (i.e. where I live) and I thought I’d do a sun-drenched special to celebrate summer’s balmy days. Admittedly, I myself haven’t yet seen the sun, as there are no windows in the part of the house where I live (not a problem, of course – after all, what would be the point, this far underground?). But she’s promised to break out the summer sweaters and the heavy rubber gimp suit, to take me out into the garden this weekend to where the treadmill awaits, bathed in sunshine. So that’ll be a nice change. I’ve also just booked a romantic stay for two at a beach resort for later in the summer, but I wont divulge the details as she hasn’t decided which boyfriend to take with her. They get so jealous – especially a certain old bull I won’t name! *
Anyway, here we are: summery captions.
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| I doubt that. I have actually become quite good at accurately judging women’s weight. But sometimes you have to tell them little white lies – bless them. The number of times I’ve had to control my breathing carefully to say ‘no, no – light as a feather!’ without gasping… |
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| It’s great. Yeah. I’m getting quite good at never having any sexy thoughts at all, as long-term readers of this blog will know only too well. |
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| Oh… don’t mind me. |
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| She likes long walks in the country, getting caught in the rain and keeping up with the latest developments in applied metallurgy. |
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| Actually, I brought a spare myself. I always do, just in case. I mean, imagine how awful it would be to run into Gal by chance and not have a leather belt or similar implement on you… a lifetime of regret would await. |
* Regular readers shouldn’t worry. There’ll always be a place for Raoul in her heart – and in her vagina, mouth and anus, too of course.
Impertinent features
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| The clever bit of the trick isn’t how she stubs the cigarette out, it’s how she has persuaded you to accept it – and even pay for the privilege. |
The lovely Miss Zoe, who once gave me an unforgettable cuddle after a particularly hard spanking.
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| Gal wouldn’t need to lasso me to make me tell her the truth. But she’s very welcome to do so anyway. |
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| They say it gets easier after a year or two, so just keep going. |
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| Ah, I’d forgotten that I’d done this one, when discussing precisely this situation on Paltego’s blog. |
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| Women will only be truly free when every male is enslaved. It’s sad that it has to be that way but… oh, hang on, it’s not sad at all, is it? |
Decadence: time for birthday spankings
Ten years today. Good grief.
Here are some of my favourite ever captioned images. In general, when there’s one I am really pleased with, it is because the words and photo go together perfectly. Either because the lady’s expression seems just right – in that, once you’ve read the caption you can imagine she’s saying that, or even be unable to imagine she could be saying anything else – or just because the caption picks up some quirk in the scene.
Other people might like other ones. Or stories. But I adore each and every one of the ones below, so I won’t comment further.
And, of course….
… and…
…and finally, what my Tumblr stats suggest is the most popular captioned image I have ever done. Which is quite heartening, as it’s not some fetish scene with latex-clad blondes (delightful though those are), but simply this:
So here’s to the next ten years. Starting tomorrow with a bonus post of new stuff, to make up for all this recycled trash we’ve had over the last few days.
Decadence: the Ladies
What would this blog have been over its 10 years of existence, without its regular Ladies? Ridiculous question, as that’s obviously where the main attraction lies. Let’s pay tribute (no really – get yourself to an ATM and stuff an envelope) to those ‘regulars’ who all unknowingly, unceasingly, uncaringly and without regard to copyright, so often enlighten this otherwise dismal corner of the Internet.
Some domme, some vanilla – the sole criterion today is frequency of appearance. So here they are again (and they will all be back). Most names are hyperlinks.
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| Not a particularly interesting caption, I’m afraid, but when the image is perfection itself, who cares? |
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| I have never met her, but her lovely, wicked smile is so much more fun to caption than the stereotypical ‘domme grimace’ that she features here a lot. |
Emily
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| I have not met her either, obviously. But I do envy her dog. |
Gal
Do you think we might like another picture of Gal? I do.
The Ladies of Cruella (who took a flamethrower to my brain as a teenager in the 1990s).
Link may not work but worth tracking down, as the guy who does ‘modern Cruella’ does seem to be the same as the one who did these all those years ago (he seems to keep re-doing his Internet sites, presumably trying to find ways to monetise this stuff – I hope he succeeds, as he deserves it). The modern material isn’t bad at all either, but I have very special memories of furtive visits to Soho to summon up the courage to buy magazines featuring these lovelies.
NB: I once saw them on sale on the top shelf of a regular Pakistani newsagent… I could never imagine asking in a context so vanilla. “Yeah, 20 Silk Cut please mate and erm… have you got a copy of the latest Cruella? Oh – that’s last month’s isn’t it? I’ll take the Goddess, then: the one with the guy licking the boot. Yeah, thanks. Oh – and I’ll have this Kit Kat too.”
Whose name I have spelled many different ways over the years. Shhh… nobody tell her, please. OWK came in just about the end of my teenage formative years. They published magazines for a couple of years, because they started just before Internet femdom took off. They had advertised for a year or so in Cruella et al before launching: extraordinary, evocative pictures of concentration camp femdom. The magazines did not disappoint, when they finally arrived. Impressively high production values, and a convincing commitment to the fantasy. I don’t care in the least whether it was ‘real’ in any meaningful way or not, I really don’t.
Megyn
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My And although I’m mostly heterosexual (or would be, if anyone ever let me), I’ve got to admit Trudeau does have a very spankable butt… |
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| A lovely Russian model. A lot of her content out there consists of what I must regretfully call ‘tit and bum’ shots, which I think rather unnecessary, given her sweet, extraordinarily pretty face. But of course, that’s up to her. |
Lady Sophia
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| Wonderful domme, whose in-session persona was actually very similar to this. Retired now, so no link – sorry, you’re just too late and that’s that. |
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| I know, I know… Miami/American Mean Girls is a very commercial site, nothing at all authentic about it – even some questionable content recently too. But unlike almost all the mean girl ‘hey loser’ content out there, a lot of it is done very well and these two especially are lovely: their disdainful personas perfectly matching their elegant beauty. ‘Goddess Rodea’, incidentally, has moved on to other things and clearly despises the whole humiliation fetish scene. Which just makes it even better, ironically… |
Young Goddesses, especially Irina
No link for this one because the guy who used to make them took against the whole business and links to his sites now just lead to complaints about the unprofessionalism of the ladies he had to work with, along with warnings about the perils of excessive masturbation – and not in a good way.
But there are some lovely images of some lovely Russian ladies, doing quite unpleasant things, out there.
Irina is the one on the left, showing off her trademark delightful, amused smile. She is findable on the Internet as Irina or occasionally as Cofi Milan and she smiles a lot.
and of course…
My goodness!
‘Readers’ of this blog might have picked up on the subtle hints I have ocasionally dropped here, that I might have a bit of a thing for Anne Hathaway (the living actress, not the dead wife of William Shakespeare, although I don’t doubt she was very lovely too). Very regular ‘readers’ will also be aware that earlier this year I posted a video of an interview with the divine Anne, in which she had to speak quite firmly to the young male who had been privileged enough to be allowed into her presence to interview her. I have to confess I found that firmness somewhat… stimulating. Obsessive ‘readers’ might even have noticed that I then developed something of a compulsion to publish a series of captioned images all with exactly the same caption, whenever the facial expression or the situation seemed to warrant it.
At the risk of alienating what few ‘readers’ I have left, I am afraid to have to tell you that the compulsion is still with me, so more of the same – exactly the same – below. Sorry about that. This is an extra post, though, so it will not diminish the twice-weekly postings of captioned images that don’t all have exactly the same words (just the same tired old set of ideas and jokes).
So… as is traditional, we’ll start with the original, then repeat the same theme ad infinitum (where ‘infinitum’ is here understood to mean ‘seven times’).
