Wicked, flagitious, tyrannical acts

If you’re worried about whether you’ll be able to please her sexually – don’t be. You have plenty of pain receptors and a full set of vocal chords, and that’s all you’ll need.
Obviously, I visit sex workers, although I have to confess I’ve never really understood why the ladies I visit call themselves by that title.
Looks to me like they’re considering him quite seriously already. I think he’s got a good chance of getting through to the next stage: in-depth assessment.
She’s just looking for the right man. I’m sure when she does find him, she’ll keep him.
I expect he’ll be taking those opportunities; it would be so ungrateful not to.

Now, please, darling

She’s right, of course.
Sometimes Lisa quite likes dealing with the easier cases who break almost immediately, for a change: it gives her a chance to explore some techniques without any pressure. Plus, she enjoys the terrified pleading and screaming.
They’re thinking of making it a compulsory module, so most nurses will have had at least some experience of castrating males. Although they never had any lack of volunteers when it was optional.
Oh, I don’t know. One of my SO’s boyfriends gave me a contempt fuck one day and it was quite memorable.
Or breathe in to hang around abit longer – up to you. She’d rather get on with it, but just this once I think she might let you choose.
It’s obviously been bothering her a lot, poor thing.

Days of their lives

The OWK ladies once more reminisce to a fictional (but enviable) interviewer, about the best of the best of days. In fact, they reminisce at great length, at least in comparison to the space available for an ordinary caption…

Perhaps one day I’ll post the transcript of the whole interview here, if I ever get round to making it up.

Treat you with a vengeance

From a song by the lovely Toyah. She once interviewed the strange, rather disturbing but oddly exciting Miss Martindale, of Aristasia fame, you know.

Images are unrelated, unless they’re not.

You might want to keep it handy; I sense it’s going to be one of those days.
Keep calm, she’s a professional, she does this all day.
Hope you like dust.
The key is to listen to both sides of the story, then ignore whatever the male said. After that, it should be easy enough to get both sides to agree who was at fault and on the appropriate course of action.
The easy way was difficult, but this is – oddly – going to go a lot more smoothly. She’s quite determined, so that’s that.
Don’t be such a wimp. Don’t you trust her?

Whips and whims

Don’t forget your morning prayers too.
If love is there, honouring and obeying should come naturally. And if they don’t, I’m sure she can find an alternative means to encourage them.
He has… but here’s only so much misbehaviour you can get up to, muzzled and on a leash.
Don’t worry: she won’t whip you any more than necessary.
My SO finds it very upsetting when our cat catches a mouse and plays with it so cruelly. As she says, there’s a 50% chance the poor little thing is female.
It’s a future-proofed profession, because although technology obviously could automate the basic function of shit-carrying, it could never provide the same satisfaction forcing a male to do that provides to the onlooker.

Cruelty is its own reward

…but you often still have to pay her for it.

I suppose there comes a point when, if she’s gradually cut away every piece of you that isn’t your genitals, there’s only the genitals left. But then isn’t that equivalent to castrating you? Interesting philosophical question, there, to help you while away the time as you dangle in mute agony.
She has a low boredom threshold, so best not to keep going on about it.
My pain tolerance level has increased slightly over the years but unfortunately so has my SO’s.

Sharp-eyed readers (or just those who spend a lot of time wanking on the Internet) will of course recognise the lovely Goddess Mina Thorne.

You’ll soon learn about what’s important to her and what isn’t.
When they talk later, I expect she’ll need to release a lot of that anger and he’ll need – will desperately need – to release other things.
Actually, in a sense he’s getting off lightly. He was sentenced to 35 years but he’ll actually only have done 34 years, 364 days and about 12 hours. Lucky bastard, I hope he appreciates it.

She builds you up just to put you down

What a clown.

How very inconsiderate.
Funny how often that happens. It’s as if the spinner’s drawn to that outcome.
I discovered very early on in my dating career that the secret to really satisfying a woman sexually is to make sure she never meets me.
She has a similar approach to the men in her life – she likes them hungry, but not actually starving to death, or at least not too quickly.
She likes to feel a big cock inside her, so why can’t you?
Remarkably, AFM won a Pulitzer back in 1957 but its editorial standards have slipped a little since.

A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me

I think Abraham Lincoln said that. Which just goes to show that even the smartest guys can be really, really dumb when it comes to the unfairer sex, but there you go.

And here we go. Not an Abraham Lincoln-themed day, startlingly enough.

Men are stronger than women but chains are stronger than wrists – and steel or even plastic is stronger than a cock, so it’s all right.
Don’t blame her for being so clingy – or for the concern about your untimely death. When you think of what happened to her first two husbands, it’s hardly surprising, is it? The poor thing.
She takes a holistic approach to cleaning. It’s not just about cleaning the apartment; it’s also about cleaning up your lifeand tidying up your attitudes (and cleaning out your mouth too, if need be).
Don’t worry, it’s just a job to her. She leaves it behind every day, when she walks out of the Retributution Room and washes the blood off her rubber apron and lets the screams fade behind her. Oh – and she likes rom-coms. That’s OK with you, yeah? For some guys it’s a no-no.
Looks like another quiet evening in, then.
Much better to be the only slave in their cottage than to be one of any number of interchangeable males at the back and call of some city woman. Think of all the attention you’ll get! Plus all that healthy country air.

There’s only one thing I wanna do

I wanna get back home to you. Yes, Servitor’s back!

Terrible pun? Yeah, I suppose it is: like I said, Servitor’s back. The material’s only going to get worse. It’s actually not Servitor’s back, in case you were wondering, but it looks like it belongs to someone almost as annoying.

So, normal service resumes. Oh… one small change. You’re probably all only too aware of the inflation that many countries have suffered over the last few years. Everything’s just going up, up, up. Well, I’m afraid Contemplating the Divine is no exception. I’ve tried to hold things as they are for as long as I can, but it’s time to reflect reality, so I regret to have to announce that from now on there will be six images in every post, not five.

I know, I know and I can only apologise. You’re just going to have to cope.

Most of the attractive guys have already been taken, I suppose.
Their champion in the high-heeled kickboxing would have won gold too, but she was unlucky enough to have a Russian male drawn as her target in the final, got a little over-excited and had to forfeit that match when the target died. Everyone sympathised but rules are rules. Her opponent, the Australian, deliberately kicked her own target to death when she saw what had happened, in a lovely display of sportswomanship, so they shared silver.
She’s not looking for an ally, more of a conquered subject.
He’s obviously having second thoughts, and they’re fine with that. My own SO always says that if ever I find the pain too much, I am welcome to regret doing whatever led to the whipping. And if it really gets unbearable, she always says I should tell her.

Mistress Sidonia and Lady Sophia Black, in the scene above, both quite wonderful. That’s quite in the sense of ‘very’ not in the sense of ‘just a little’. Why no link to Lady Sophia Black’s website, Twitter feed, Instagram or Only Fans profile you may ask? Because she has retired and the world is a sadder and less beautiful, if also less painful and humiliating, place as a result.

Usually they bring one over and grind it at your table, I understand.
His packets of condoms say ‘large’* so he’s always assumed…. well, anyway, Annie** set him straight as she has so many men.

* Although the stereotype is that condoms only come in sizes ‘large’, extra large’, ‘jumbo’ and so on (the point of the feeble joke in the caption if you didn’t get it – you’re welcome) there are actually condom manufacturers who specialise in the, erm… less over-developed male. Brands such as ‘Teenie peenies’, ‘It’s what you do with it that matters’, ‘Just right’ and of course ‘Fun-size’ are all condoms made to fit snugly on even the smallest… well, OK, maybe the second-smallest male out there. They’re quite expensive but the economics of the business are absolutely terrible: most of their clients will buy one or at most two packets in a lifetime, so they need to cover a lot of overhead. Fortunately, the cost of the rubber is very low – less than a fifth as much is used in the ones I buy as in the average-sized condom, they claim, which is environmentally very sound.

** Yeah, Annie. Instructions from Herself.

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