face-slapping – Contemplating the divine

But you won’t cry, I know

She likes it when you say please and thank you, but you need to get used to saying them quickly, because once she starts using alternating hands, it gets pretty fast.

Men need to take responsibility for their own behaviour. His body, his fault.

They say when you’re in a hole it’s best to stop digging… although my experience has always been that if I’m digging a hole I’d better damn well keep digging as fast as I can, until she tells me to stop.

Don’t get your hopes up, she rarely keeps the boys she collects when she’s out.

And if she does finally snap and put you on the leash, for goodness’ sake don’t make her drag you along. It’s not fair to expect her to do all the work in the relationship.

She doesn’t realise what a career boost a photo feature in AFM can provide. Take a look at some of the shots from the magazine I’ve featured here – A-listers, almost all of them.*

* Fans of AFM – yes, there are some, you’re not the weirdest reader of this blog, you know, not by a long chalk – can look forward to a great start to 2025. No spoilers, though.

A long time in politics

A week is a long time in politics, they say, which makes it a lot like predicament bondage.

I should apologise for any medical problems induced by the high prevalance of heart-stopping beauty in this post. But I won’t, because anyone collapsing in front of his screen, trousers around his ankles, probably deserved it, nasty little pervert.

These days with such a fragmented media landscape it’s very hard to determine what’s true and what isn’t. Quick pro-tip: if it’s on this blog, it probably isn’t. So don’t worry about that female supremacist conspiracy, OK? Just a femdomination sex fantasy thing, nothing to see.

There were several defining moments of her campaign, many of which went viral and some of which became among the highest-ever viewed clips on femdom porn sites, oddly enough. Still, all publicity is good publicity, right? It’s like spanking, in that respect.

Yada yada slavery, yada yada shock collars. That’s the tired old politics… time to move on, surely? And if those men’s rights activists can’t understand that for themselves maybe they just need a little help to see the bigger picture? Shouldn’t the government step in – or stride, in high-heeled boots – to provide that? Hey – I’m just asking questions here.

The First Gentleman should be a role model for all boys, so it’s important to check his behaviour whenever he falls short of that high standard – and her higher ones. So, really, it’s her duty. The interns… OK, that’s just a stress relief thing.

She won’t say branding’s painless because it isn’t. See how refreshing it is when political leaders don’t, like, lie all the time?

Well, you don’t sound very grateful

Recent quote from a lovely domme, disappointed by my bad manners. Needless to say, she helped me to express my gratitude more profusely.

Pictures are neither more nor less related than usual.

I expect she has quite firm views – vigorously expressed – on gratitude, too.

Of course she’s not actually going to throw the gift set away – I mean, she has it now, so she might as well keep it. But its the principle of the thing. Ironically enough, that particular cosmetics firm practises cruelty-free testing. And she knows that. But she holds to her principles very strongly.

What a shame she doesn’t let you have enough money to afford her services. Oh well, there’s always sitting alone in the dark and howling inwardly, right?

There’s a guy who hangs around the coffee shop just waiting to see that domme approaching the door, so he can leap ahead of her in the queue and ‘pay her coffee on’. Sadly, she doesn’t know that because she’s never had to pay for a coffee there and thinks its free… so she just occasionally notices with irritation the guy who always barges ahead of her in the queue. But life was never meant to be fair.

As a last service, try to notice which way your beloved wife bet and then breathe faster or slower, depending, to help her win. That would be a loving gesture and it’s not as if you’ll have many more opportunities to show how much you care for her.

I wonder what it does mean? Madame Šárka seems to know… I expect she’ll be able to help him understand his mistake – and the seriousness thereof.

As a bit of found (and probably unintended) femdom, this is rather lovely, by the way. I wonder if it works with anything other than golf balls?

Spankable moments

She will drink dairy milk at a pinch, but it saddens her to think of the cruety to animals it involves.

More and more businesses are setting up dedicated DS service units, because the improvement in male worker productivity is so evident. Skilled practitioners like Julie are therefore much in demand, but businesses can keep their dommes’ salaries to a manageable level by turning a blind eye to a bit of findomming senior male executives on the side.

This was much more practical than the later craze for ‘add ten lashes and pass the challenge on’ which quickly got out of hand.

She’s willing to listen, at least to the first two… maybe two and half sentences?

Poor thing. That’s the third boy being whipped as a result of her actions that she’s had to witness this term. She must feel awful.

The wonderful lady playing the schoolmistress here goes by the name Lady Tamara Kenworthy in the material that’s appropriate for the likes of us sub males to view (Samantha Alexandra when not, but you didn’t hear that from me). Tragically, she no longer does sessions with clients (if she ever did), as far as I can see, or I would be scurrying to her door as fast as my hands and knees could carry me. I can’t blame her, though – I wouldn’t want to meet me in person either. But it would be so nice to be blamed by her… for anything really. Sigh…

Sounds like a sensible way to resolve this. Just imagine… a similar dispute between two males could easily have ended in violence. It’s because women have more empathy.

Torturous logic

She’s right, of course. Quite early in my marriage, I realised that what I naively thought of as ‘too much pain’ was, when viewed in proper perspective, ‘not enough pain’. It’s funny how wrong men can be about such things.

Speaking of Orgasm Day – guess what? Thursday’s mine! Yes, every February 29th, regular as clockwork, I get to have an orgasm. Unless my behaviour has been particularly bad, obviously, or if she’s too busy. She suggested the date herself – I’d wanted some time in June, but apparently this is much better.

This is one of the tasks you’ll be judged on, so do it right.

Nothing wrong with enjoying your job, I say.

What if I’m not ready? Hmm? What do you suppose she’ll – AAH!

I hadn’t realised she owned a big dog… I guess that’s why she has that big cage in the garden.

Give way to oncoming women

Or “yield” as I believe the Americans would put it.

You might imagine your life would be harder if you really cut down on spending on yourself – but actually, it will be much, much harder if you don’t.

Oddly enough, the most unpleasant-tasting thing a domme has ever made me ingest in session was something that was actually intended to be food: a jar of cheese and cauliflower babyfood. No wonder babies learn to talk so quickly, if that’s what we’re feeding them.

No, no Brer Fetish Model … please don’t make me clean out your sweaty latex!

Good thing you’ve got something to do to take your mind off the humiliation of what’s going on upstairs.

Fortunately I’m largely immune to SPH as my ego is even smaller, if such a thing can be imagined.

Yes: blame yourself. She always does, so why quibble?

There’s a place I know where we should go

Holi – holiday!

So, for the next two weeks Servitor’s owner will be on holiday, so I’ll have the pleasure of 14-hour workdays for no pay in a different location.

As regular ‘readers’ will be aware, this blog has a fine tradition of ~~clearing out old unpublished images that aren’t very good~~ posting extra, bonus images during the holiday period by putting up a daily post with three unconnected, unthemed captioned images without context, wit or point. So that will happen starting from tomorrow for two weeks.

For today, however, the first post of an occasional new series: Holidays in Heaven, which has as a theme slightly contrived situations in which a couple from a ‘normal’ country (i.e. a patriarchal hell-hole) are on holiday in a female supremacist paradise.

OK, very contrived then. Whatever. I need to go and get my crate ready for the long flight. Let’s hope I don’t spend too long trundling round and round on the luggage carousel before she collects me this time. Last time it was two weeks, the entire holiday. But she’s always been forgetful like that, bless her.

Perilous prose

You have to slap pretty hard to get the ketchup sachet to burst open. But then you have to slap pretty hard anyway – she insists on it – so don’t worry about that. Worry about other things.

And she’ll make sure you’re penciled in for one of the first slots available in her schedule after her holiday, OK?

I once told a domme I couldn’t really cope with public humiliation and she just looked at me strangely and asked how I managed in day to day life, never leaving the house. I think she must have misunderstood me.

Don’t worry, her travel insurance will make sure she gets all the money she needs after your tragic and unexplained disappearance.

My SO once had an affair with a lesbian sub and I was over the moon, because I thought finally there’d be another submissive to share the chores. But apparently lesbian D/S “doesn’t work like that”. And the attitude to chastity play was a bit different too… a lot different, if I’m honest.

Compulsive behaviour

She has a different – but very effective – approach to ensuring that the tasks you undertake are carried out properly.

This is of course Cassie Hunter, the Hunteress or (for simplicity): ‘Ma’am’.

I think she shouldn’t be so diplomatic – sometimes it’s best to get honest, direct feedback.

She doesn’t usually accept ‘submissive little weirdo’ clients, but sometimes it’s a pleasant change not to have to pretend to like them.

Of course, even with a genetic explanation it’s still your fault.

Percy looks like he might need to soak for ten minutes or so in the icy water of the pond in the garden, before he’ll be small enough to fit into his winter quarters.

And this is Lady Annabelle whom I suspect is retired, but if not, she is certainly one of the smiliest dommes around, with a very fine line in teasing and mocking. If anyone can find a link to a site that’s her own, please feel free to share it.

A good hard marriage

… that’s what most men need.

She’s getting mixed signals here. Fortunately, the ones she’s giving are entirely consistent.

Thank goodness for that.

My own SO avoids this problem by only fucking guys who despise me. Fortunately, that doesn’t restrict her freedom of action at all.

Honestly, given the choice between fucking her and fucking you, it’s hard to see how anyone could prefer not to play it straight. But some guys have weird sexual preferences. I’ve heard.

Actually, I have a funny story about a pair of masturbation gloves and some nettles. Well… it was funny at the time, anyway. For her.