Enigmatic

Yes, just imagine how awful that would be. But don’t imagine too hard, or the spikes might start digging in painfully. Oh – too late? Sorry.
It’s amazing how modern technology can take the drudgery out of life but to a sufficiently determined woman, there’s still plenty of drudgery to be found.
I expect it’ll turn up eventually… and while it’s missing, you might even find out you could have done without it all along. It’s often that way.
Oh dear. And her feet too! Sigh. Scurry.
Don’t be so selfish – or possessive. In fact, it’s probably a good idea to get out of that last habit, now you don’t have possessions.
Mmm….

Reigning in my heart

It’s best if she doesn’t do any rowing, as she wouldn’t want to work up a sweat and ruin the shoot… anyway, that’s what she brought you for. Don’t worry, she’ll probably do some paddling later, when the two of you are back at the hotel.
So much better to come to a negotiated settlement like this than have an unpleasant fight in court. More fun for her, too.
Not a good morning for her, not going to be a good evening for you. Consequences, remember?
She’s multi-tasking: doing stuff and ignoring you.
If you want to dispute the analogy, I’m sure she’d be only too happy to force your feet into a nice pair of 5-inch heels for the last two flights.
I think Ryan would definitely say it’s up to her.

There was a time

when they used to say...

Yes, it’s another 1980s/90s -ish-themed post. Those heady days of big hair, big music and big phones. What’s that? yes, I’m well aware I’ve ‘done’ the big hair / big phone joke before. But this is a nostalgic post, it’s supposed to hark back. Oh, and it’s mostly very British. I hear they had the 1980s in other countries, but it doesn’t sound half as good. We had ladies with whips on The Tube and Space 1999 too…

Anyway, this is not another issue of Empress Magazine (but one is even now being lovingly pasted up using photographic paper and wax and will soon be linotyped into existence and rushed out in vans to newsagents worldwide to be handed out to furtive punters in plain paper bags). No, this is just captions relating to another time. That’s what it is. Here they are.

Probably not a good idea to lick up too much latex shiner, then act as a live ashtray, though. Foom! But quite funny for any watching dommes.
For some reason, in the UK this sort of image is known as a ‘glamour shot’.
OK, technically this one isn’t very British. This is, remarkably enough, Tina Fey in a muppet movie. More kids’ films should feature attractive ladies dressed as guards from totalitarian regimes, in my view.
It’s a good look for him. The screaming, I mean. The moustache is meh.
It was all a very coy way of talking about that ‘very special time of the month’. Or ‘special time every three months’ or year, whatever your chastity regime requires.
Yeah… we expected a future with jet-pack travel, bases on Mars and cities beneath the oceans. Instead, what did we get? A near endless supply of femdom porn, free and available to be furtively consumed in the comfort of our own homes. Thank goodness for that.

With huge apologies throughout to Cruella. Still going! Pay Andy a visit.

There’s no pleasing some people

I’m glad to say.

The rating scale goes up as high as ‘adequate’ but unlike many such platform rating systems, most clients don’t hand out the highest rating as a matter of routine.
Since he’d gone to the trouble of bringing it, she did give him a quick twenty with the stupid thing, before sending him back to get the right one, in order to start the punishment proper. Plus the extras for wasting her time, of course.
It’s funny, because the next day she had a client who found her socks too stinky. Unlike this situation, she didn’t send him away straight away: instead, he stayed the night tied up on the floor, face down in a pile of laundry, as I understand it. But he had to apologise expensively too.
If he misbehaves, he’ll certainly experience days when he is much less happy – and not just over the next two weeks.
Nubbin has a giantess fetish and they each have a ‘making love to my girlfriend while this sad little guy remains locked in chastity’ fetish, so they’re very well suited to one another.
She’s a professional so she’ll castrate you anyway, even if she doesn’t enjoy it or see the point. I think that kind of dedication is to be celebrated, don’t you?

NB, nursenicoclinic appears no longer to be operating (pun intended) but if anyone can find someone to whom I should be crediting the image of this lovely if occasionally rather malpractising lady, please speak up.

Louring ladies

Don’t worry, lots of bridegrooms… no, hang on. Do worry.
This is her ‘girlfriend experience’ service and if you ask me, it’s startlingly realistic.
I used to think I was my own worst enemy, but my SO managed to wean me off those self-loathing thoughts by listing all the people (or at least, the top twenty among our close friends) who loathe me even more.
Good night, sweet princess.
You don’t need motivating, as you’ll be strapped down and helpless.
They serve coffee too – and water to help settle the boys’ stomachs, but most Mistresses prefer them unsettled.

Idol thoughts

Think of what a relief it must be, not to be in any danger of suffering one of those unwanted and embarassing erections during the shoot. It just helps keep things professional, as they should be (although not ‘professional’ in the sense she’s actually paying you, obviously).
Everyone laughed at me when I bet on him, but I think I could be making a lot of money here!
My SO says gags really suit me and I can’t argue with that.
I expect you never imagined a woman like that would ever take an interest in you, did you? But she is – very – and so are all her friends.
Of course, they vary it a bit. Today he had a nice big empty bowl of cereal for breakfast, nothing soup for lunch and he has a big juicy nothingburger to look forward to for dinner.
Some men think that women who dress provocatively are just asking for it – you can easily spot them, these days, as they’re the ones walking around in t-shirts reading “Please kick me in the balls.”

Prank-mags

Some more very bad attempts to create magazine covers. Just ignore me and I’ll probably stop doing this, out of embarassment, sooner or later.

AFM has already been mentioned in several captions in the blog, so I thought I’d give ‘readers’ a glimpse of what it looks like. Frankly, once you’ve seen one issue you’ve pretty much seen them all, I think, although remarkably it’s now in its seventeenth year of publication. It just goes to show, as I always like to say (when I can’t think of any other way of finishing a comment off).
They always have a celebrity interview but, like the divine Ms Kidman’s in this issue, it’s usually disappointingly short.
It’s a top-shelf magazine, of course, mainly so that laughably short sissies have to blushingly ask a big tall man (or, if they’re very lucky: woman) to reach it down for them.

Thanks be to women

Aw… he’s going to be all bashful and get confused as he tries to stutter out his question, now. But she won’t mind: she’s nice.
My own employer set up a taskforce to evaluate some external dominatrix service providers – we trialled five of them, which was a bit exhausting for me, as the only male on the team. In the end, though, the choice was easy as the cheapest option surprisingly also turned out to be the most painful. It pays to shop around.
So, ermmm, what are you both up to these days? Apart from this, obviously.

A pair of wonderful French dominatrices there: on the right, the talented and beautiful Maîtresse Blanche who has had the dubioius pleasure of inserting various medical things into Servitor and peeing on me, while on the left I believe is la talentueuse et belle Maîtresse Euryale, who probably has much better facilities into which to relieve herself… but I hope some day may yet find a stinking load of raw, untreated Servitor piled up on her doorstep needing humane disposal.

It’s important not to boil them for too long or you can lose the flavour.
It’s nice to have a change of scene but you know what it’s like with holidays… 24 hours after you get home it’s as if you never left.
Give me the real thing any day. I believe Ms Cassie Hunter is on the shortlist to star in the new one: 50 Shades: Black and Blue.

Angel with the scourge

Two scourging angels, ready to inspire and if need be correct, profoundly religious thoughts.
Of course, it doesn’t need to be reserved solely for cuckold play. Plenty of uses for a pillory and it’s not like she has someone in her bed every night of the week,
Question asked, question answered. Time to move on.
Opinion among mistresses is divided as to whether it’s a good idea for sissies to have thinking time. Why spend so much time doing something they’re not good at?
Her brutality is rarely, if ever, unreasonable.
More and more women are discovering the fun that can be had with a golf club, especially in the company of a supportive man.

Darling, it was positively savage!

To provide welcome relief from the brutal vulgarity of much of today’s femdom, here are some more Downton Domination captions, recalling a more elegant age when brutality was not so vulgar.

Taking on a governess just on the offchance that at some point you might have children might have seemed an unnecessary expenditure at the time, but actually it’s been the best decision she ever took.
Not yet, no.
If you can’t, I’m sure she can. Or you could ask Reynolds what she thinks, although her approach might be less refined, as she’s from a rough background.
Much more civilised.
A perfect place to engage in traditional country pursuits.
Of course she knows she’ll have to give him back eventually, but there’s no rush, is there? Anyway, they started it.*

* Yes they did, they invaded Poland.

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