aaaare there too many labels in this cloud?

Kept men

(we don’t talk about the discarded ones).

Another 2% fantasise desperately about it not happening, or at least not so often and not quite so hard.

Featuring the lovely and no-nonsense Miss Cassie Hunter, the Hunteress.

Right. It’s about time all this nonsense stopped – I’m going to put my foot down. In fact, I’m going to stamp my foot – hard. Several times. And I’m going to to have a proper tantrum. That should show her she can’t treat me like this.

Their faces usually fall again when she goes on to inform them that she will therefore proceed to the next thrashing, for the next item on her list.

I once asked my SO if she could feminise me, but she just laughed and said she’d love to, but I don’t have the IQ to make a convincing woman.

She cares a lot.

By the way, not ‘found femdom’ in any meaningful way, but over the break I’ve been watching episodes of 90s British sitcom Game On and perving ever so slightly to the lovely Samantha Janus and especially her relationship with the character Martin. I watched it occasionally at the time it was broadcast and it’s as weird and spectacularly depressing as ever, as the basic set-up is that Matt – a neurotic, agoraphobic narcissist – rents out rooms in his flat to Martin (a wimp) and Mandy (a goddess!). Martin is a virgin desperate for sex, while Mandy is frustrated with her life and hates herself for sleeping with so many men. But (da-dum), the only men she absolutely will not have sex with are the other two characters. With Matt, she refuses and pushes him away but with Martin it obviously never even occurs to her to have sex with him. There’s a lovely scene in this episode (intended to be the first ever, although they varied the order of broadcast), in which her latest boxer boyfriend takes up her whole bed, so she snuggles up with Martin, who lies there with an erection the whole desperate night. Here, starting 16.22. Ahhh…

So, yeah, not in any way femdom. Except that Samantha Janus is quite literally a goddess and I for one intend to found a religion in her honour.

She is notionally Samantha Womack these days, but I’ll be hunting down Mr so-called Womack and forcing the blasphemer to change his name to Janus, as is only right and proper, so don’t worry about that.

Gynophilia/gynophobia

The love of women and the fear of women. I have both conditions.

Hmmm… She’s merely disappointed, not repulsed. I’ll consider that as progress.

It’s a sacred bond – or a device for getting the housework done, depending on whether your finger’s on the button.

Don’t worry: he’s very professional. You can be tied tightly naked over his trestle, and no matter how horny he’s feeling, you won’t have a thing to worry about. Well, except the savage beating you’re about to receive, obviously.

…and she does mean everywhere.

She’ll track them down. She’s very persistent. Anyway, can’t have feral males running about the place can we?

Erectile disfunction

I got an email about dealing with erectile disfunction. I know they’re probably just spam, but I like to think the best of people, and I was willing to give it a go. At least it made a change from all those emails I get suggesting various ways of enhancing my penis size (sometimes I wish I’d never given my mother my email address, I really do).

Anyway, it said that lots of men experience periods of erectile disfunction, but if I wrote off describing the circumstances in which I…. err.. failed to rise to the occasion, as it were, world-famous doctors were waiting to advise me.

Well, as you can imagine, I was quite excited, and I wrote back at great length describing how I usually experience quite long periods of erectile disfunction shortly after annoying my Significant Other, for example by failing to iron her blouse properly, or over-cooking the pasta. But that I also find it difficult to achieve an erection when she’s just in a bad mood because she’s busy at work, or its her time of the month, or something like that. The email asked me to describe in detail the longest period of disfunction I’d had, so I sent them Time magazine’s review of the year for 2013.

And they never replied! I mean, can you believe it? I sent email after email, and eventually I just received an automatic response informing me that the server in Nigeria where they were based was blocking my address.

Isn’t the Internet a weird place, eh? Oh well. Here are some more pictures of pretty ladies looking threatening, so we can get sexually aroused by the thought of being punished and humiliated by them. Good wholesome stuff.

Beware of dominatrices with ‘strong views’

Now I believe this is Mistress Annabelle. But if it isn’t, perhaps she or the lady it happens to be could, err, correct me. Please?

I don’t know who he is, I’m afraid. Or if he’s available for sessions.

Domestic bliss.

You think?

This of course is the wonderful and creative (and scary!) Mistress Sidonia, of the English Mansion.

It’s ironic, really, as Alanis Morisette might say.

More from the English Mansion. And I think this is Mistress Jessica Wood.

Dear me, she seems a little fierce. Most young brides wait until after the wedding before giving their husbands their first proper birching. Still, maybe she’ll become more tolerant and forgiving of her husband’s faults when you’re married. Some brides do. Many don’t.

Hidden new post

Blogger took down one of my early postings, because of copyright violation, but as I don’t know which picture was the naughty one, I’ve created a completely new posting with five new captioned errr…images of female domination (obviously). I need a posting there, because this is the one all the search engines seem to find.

So – go here for today’s indulgences.

Oh – and here’s a pretty picture, so we still look good in links lists:

The truth can hurt

…but so can lying.

Actually, he was wearing two belts.

Men’s brains aren’t good at remembering dates, but they do have a really good nerve connection to the genitals, so it’s a perfect match.

“Snip-Lit”. It’s going to be the next big thing after 50 Shades of Grey, you’ll see.

She’s not actually a dentist. She did admit that on his fourth visit, to be fair.

I think this is one of those marriages where the arguments always end up with screaming and tears, don’t you?

Beaten. Into submission.

You know, the pageview stats tell me that I should have the phrase “femdom captions” in the title of every post. Maybe next time. Femdom captions. Say it loud and say it… frequently.

Well, someone has to sort it out.

First day in the OWK… always a bit difficult.

Whats a penectomy here or there between friends

It’s really none of his business, so I think he should just try to sneak quietly off and get on with his chores.

Lick my shoes you worm...and other femdom tropes

Not yours, obviously.

The worst thing is, she doesn’t actually have any gold stars. She just has to remember. And you know what her memory’s like…