Category: panties

Nonsensical sex

More of these.

Aren’t you just the perfect host? Sorry, I meant pervert. The pervert host.
I always get so excited on Pervemas morning, waiting to be unwrapped.
I don’t know what they pay those sweatboys for. Oh, don’t they? Oh, OK. Even so, there’s no excuse for not doing a professional job.
I don’t know what it is about the phrase “Purely routine anal probe” but I feel (deep inside me) it’s not used enough in our own world.
Although everyone says that no one carries coins these days, public shining posts like this one (like the many coin-operated public lavatories you can still find chained up with gaping mouths in Pervworld) often end the day with a rectum uncomfortably full of change.
It’s a lot greener than most other forms of transport, especially since a lot of their fodder is recycled.

Louring ladies

Don’t worry, lots of bridegrooms… no, hang on. Do worry.
This is her ‘girlfriend experience’ service and if you ask me, it’s startlingly realistic.
I used to think I was my own worst enemy, but my SO managed to wean me off those self-loathing thoughts by listing all the people (or at least, the top twenty among our close friends) who loathe me even more.
Good night, sweet princess.
You don’t need motivating, as you’ll be strapped down and helpless.
They serve coffee too – and water to help settle the boys’ stomachs, but most Mistresses prefer them unsettled.

Unselfish cruelty

Oh, OK. I’d previously always been told it was barely noticeable.
I dream an impossible dream about unfair maidens.
Oh dear. The poor thing. There is actually one little untruth in the account above – despite being so much younger than her poor dead husband, she’s actually more sexually experienced than him, as it happens. But I don’t think those kinds of prurient detail need to come out in court, do you? She’s suffered enough.
Lots of things are handwash-only, these days. For others, I’m allowed to use my mouth too.
I once tried sewing some pads into the base of some shorts I often wear around the house. Of course my SO discovered the ruse… and she was very unhappy about it. As she explained, it not only diminished the efefctiveness of any disciplinary measures she saw fit to impose, it also demonstrated ungratitude for all the efforts she makes. She was quite upset – and after she’d explained the point at length, I really felt her pain and I felt bad about it for a long time afterwards too. Don’t do it, guys.
I guess he got the good genes. And now he’ll have the chance to put some of them inside her.

Oh, and as you’re still here, a couple of links. Not ‘found femdom’ exactly (I think of that as being things in mainstream culture that hit our weirdly-situated buttons), as these are both from professional dominatrices but both are very lovely things that caught my eye.

First, the rather wonderful Domina M has taken to posting free videos on her web site. For the avoidance of doubt, the ‘rather’ in that sentence should be read as British delberate understatement to mean ‘absolutely, fantastically, brilliantly’ wonderful. All the videos are great. Rather cleverly (if I understand correctly), the latest one can be accessed directly, the full set need registration of an email address but are free.

More briefly, I thought this was delightful, reminiscent of course of that Orwell quote: “If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.” But more fun than a 1940s vision of a Stalinist totalitarian Britain.

Fishers of men

… but don’t worry: they are mostly doing it for sport. After hooking you and letting you wriggle and gasp for a while, they’ll usually just unhook you and throw you right back where you were.

This lady’s not planning to go fishing. She’s already caught enough for her immediate needs.
Actually, that’s not quite correct. The relationship is working for Trevor… and will do, right up to the end.
He’s looking forward to a harmonious married life, in which the housework is done with a perky smile, there’s no nonsense about taking financial decisions together and every comfort and care of the Head of Household is attended to. So’s she.
Fortunately, if she does decide to sell them anyway, even in their distressingly clean state, online purchasers of used panties rarely if ever complain to Trading Standards authorities.
You can actually communicate even quite complex concepts eventually in ‘bimbo’ speech mode, but you might have to suck a lot of cock on the way.
That’s actually something you have to ask for specifically, at the OWK. But he shouldn’t hold back. Most of the Ladies will be perfectly happy to deal with any guest who wants to have sex with them and some of them might even invite other Ladies to join in the fun.

Entzückende

As you’ve probably noticed, this blog features ‘themed posts’ on a Sunday. Well, I… what do you mean you haven’t noticed? You don’t just come here to look at the pretty women and wank, do you? This is supposed to be a conversation between me, the artist, and you sitting there, with your trousers down around your…

OK, well anyway, not exactly a themed post today but I noticed I was doing more and more captions, defacing the lovely image of a lady called Nicola Cavanis, so I thought I’d do a special on her, give her her own tag and so on. I expect she’ll be rather pleased, don’t you?

Remarkably, for a young lovely whose photos are all over the Internet, she appears not to be Russian.

But… ?
That’s the great thing about femdom – you can just turn many ordinary household implements into sex toys. Whether it’s something sharp, something blunt and heavy or just something vaguely cylindrical and sufficiently large, there’s almost always some kind of scene you can work with it.
Are you going to stand there and let her speak to you like that – you, a grown man? Stamp your foot, dammit – or run to your room, throw yourself onto the bed and scream into the pillow while kicking your feet. She’ll soon realise she can’t treat you this way.
I’m not even tired. Not fair.
I just can’t imagine why he would have wanted not to spend hours handwashing her panties… what’s wrong with the guy?
Be prepared, sissy, be prepared. I myself never go out without lubing up a little, just in case I should run into one of my SO’s former boyfriends and find myself being whored out to his mates. I’m not saying it happens every time, obviously, but when it does I’m usually glad of a little lubrication back there. I usually carry some mouthwash too – you never know when you’ll need it, do you?

A feminine touch

Well… doesn’t hurt to ask, does it?
Arguably it should be your father-in-law’s job, but apparently now he’s getting on a bit, his wife’s decided she wants to make sure that every moment of his remaining time with her is spent restrained and in agony, so they could use the help.
Don’t worry, I’m sure the shop assistant will be very understanding. In my experience, they understand perfectly.
He’s certainly getting his money’s worth.
The lovely Mistress Sidonia, of course. An inspiration to everyone who has to do their femdom on a budget: she must have one of the best-equipped facilities in the world but she still knows the value of a wire coat-hanger in really hard-core femdom play.
It’s silly to be squeamsih about a little thing like murdering a male, but some girls are like that.

Service tension

Especially if it limits her ability to spend your own money how she likes.
Consequences again – and quite right too. How could you have been so thoughtless, you monster?
Don’t worry, I hear they’re developing a kind of slow-release capsule so you won’t need a new dose every day.
Some might question why such a wise, benevolent and just ruler even needs ‘palace dungeons’ – and a few people did, near the start of her reign, but they seem to have gone away now.
They operate a walk-in, crawl-out service.
What a relief it must be to her, to hear his voice – and she must be especially pleased he phoned her first, not the police. That shows real trust and devotion.

Ghastly perversions

 

She finds she meets interesting people when she walks you in the park.  And tedious but enslaveable ones too.


 

 

She’s a very spiritual person, as you can tell.

I don’t know what the bad things were in my brain that the doctor removed but there must have been a lot of them, because it’s very empty now.  Thank goodness I have a loving wife to remember things for me.

 

The taste of ‘shut the fuck up’ will always be associated for me with the sharp, painful feeling of ‘because I say so’.

 

 

Or he won’t.  Whatever.


Being the best she can make me


You know, there are whole ‘pick-up artist’ sites that are all about how to get women to take their panties off, but none of them have hit upon this very simple technique.  It’s just about understanding her needs, really.


I would.  I wonder what it would have felt like.
Going to be a long, hot summer.
More women suffer from having excessively deep vaginas than many men realise – almost everyone I’ve been on a date with has had that problem, remarkably.








It’s a form of ‘one woman one vote’ system.
Further details available here.

Heels over head in love

Like many submissive men, I pay not to have sex. 


At school, once, this boy and I were talking about some girl and he said “I’d like to get in her knickers!”  So when, a few weeks later, after a midnight excursion, I was able to tell him I was in her knickers, I thought he’d be jealous.  But he wasn’t, oddly enough. It was just a misunderstanding.  How we laughed. The whole class laughed, if I remember rightly.

Benji is actually the Honourable Sir Benjamin Kettleworth-Harcourt, FRCS, but of course he can neither remember nor pronounce that.









Married couples should talk about their interests more.









How does she know I’m scrumptious?  I didn’t detect a French accent, there.


Verified by MonsterInsights