Blonde justice

And if she gets what she wants, you might get what you want.  Or you might not.





Erm… oh, I’ve got one!  “What do you say to a blonde disciplinarian with a tawse when you’re strapped across her ugly whipping bench vaulting horse?  Nothing: you just scream and cry out hysterically in between gasps for breath!”  Well… she finds it funny.  Mildly amusing, anyway.




She doesn’t want to, and yet…





Don’t worry – she’s very imaginative, so it’s only going to be on the rarest occasions that you’ll have to fall back on the boring old trope of male ejaculation.


I’d expected this was going to lead to an uncomfortable conversation but it seems she’s decided to skip the conversation part.


Stern words

One of the nice things about being submissive is that you’re rarely in any doubt about whether your partner’s in the mood for sex, or precisely what she wants to do (and indeed, with whom).





She was kind enough to give him a long warm-up before the painful bit, so I hope he’ll be brave.  If not, the shackles attaching him to the cross can be brave for him.

I believe some of the wedding guests have sprayed the van with silly string and attached tin cans and all sorts of other stuff to the back of it.  You won’t actually see it, from inside the sack, of course, but it’s nice to know these traditions are being maintained.

Marriage guidance counsellors recommend the anal hook – it’s amazing how much easier those petty marital disagreements go, once you’re dangling.



Oh no – not the comfy chair!






Words of praise

Look at that… she gets to have a mug of rich, steaming coffee… and Raoul’s coming round later, too. 
Things just haven’t been the same between us since Humpy Hippo moved in.
 If you like Humpy Hippo, then you might also like Mr Floppyears because it’s basically the same caption.
I remember as a child running excitedly to the door to let the District Disciplinary Officer in, while Dad grovelled for mercy at my Mum’s feet.  These days you can order a beating on-line, but it’s not the same.
It’s silly to criminalise sexism. Men are better than women at lots of things and it shouldn’t be a crime to say so.  Hard labour, for a start: we’re really good at that.

10 Green Bottles?


Boss ladies

I understand in most modern social media platforms it’s just one of the standard tickboxes when you sign up.  Of course, you can always choose “Don’t like to say” or “It’s complicated!”

A really skilled domme can plant a billiard ball right up a slave’s anus from the far side of the table.

If it’s any consolation, the male warders are all very nice indeed, as long as the inmates are nice to them.

Love’s often not enough.

When they called the next day, she had a glass of wine and a vibrator ready. You know: just to help her cope with the trauma.

Until morale improves

There is actually a technique for pushing a pole all the way through a man’s alimentary canal without causing internal injuries.  Sadly, she doesn’t know it.

I would explain, but Someone doesn’t allow me to speak to strangers.  Or, indeed, people we know.

Residents staying for longer get a food dispenser too.  But you’ll be OK without – it’s only ten days.
 This is the lovely, clever and witty Tiffany Naylor, yet another Lady who has had the misfortune to encounter Servitor in ‘person’.
I’m surprised he can afford to visit her, on a teacher’s salary.  Still, he gets his money’s worth.

I’ve actually set up my loozr account so it automatically sends a message to any woman who spends longer than five minutes within ten metres of me.  I don’t know what the message says, but on the very rare ocasions it’s been used, it seems to have been quite effective.

They can beg and they can plead

…but they can’t see the light.

Are you sitting uncomfortably?  Then she’ll begin.

You’re actually already halfway through the session. Might as well finish off.

Good.  Good.  I expect she’ll be chucking away all those dusty old wine bottles in the cellar and filling up the racks with some nice fresh sparkling wine with cheerful labels, too.

If it’s any consolation to him, after her friend has finished the face-slapping session tomorrow, he will look like a house elf.

As it happens, the second guy from the front is the Financial Director of one of the biggest German pension and insurance conglomerates.  He’s wondering whether he should say something here – but by now he’s probably got more sense.

At Her Majesty’s displeasure

And she’s actually having a lot more heterosexual sex than before the change, so it’s all going rather well.
 The wonderful Mistress Eleise, of course.  Do you need the link? I’m sure you’ve visited her site already, no?

Oh no, not Oliver.  I just don’t think we have anything in common, you know?
Hmmm… Maybe if she worked in metric?

Oh well.  On with the marital bliss, I suppose.

I’m usually in the corner at parties, myself.

Put in place

So I’m just supposed to hang around until she’s ready to talk, eh? Tsk. Bloody typical.

Mmm… keys.

You can give upward feedback too.  From waaaay down there.

Hmm.  Quite a predicament!  Hope little wifey doesn’t smell the smoke!  You know what she’s like…
She really shouldn’t have to worry about damage to boys’ internal organs. After all, damage to their external organs is so much more fun.


There’s now conclusive evidence of the harmful effects of looking at porn.  These can vary from simple cases of sore knees and light bruising across the face to severe lacerations of the buttocks and intense pain in the genital region.  You have been warned…

…but I expect you’re too stupid to do anything about it.  I certainly am.  On with the show.

She’s going to be brave for both of you, OK?

Why would I want a new pair?

Hmmm.. but is he really sorry?


His n hers.

Convenient too. There’s always a queue for the ladies’ loo at a wedding.

The crying game

It’s her favourite.  But she can tell when I’m faking.

Femdom doctor and evil experiments oh my
The important think about science is that experiments should be repeatable.   So, they’ve done this experiment nineteen times now, and the boy’s head goes ‘pop’ every single time!  Proper science, that is. 

Femdom dominatrix spanking google bait
It’s all Paul”s fault.  I don’t know why Yvonne lets him get away with it.

WW2 femdom
If they look really closely, they just might begin to develop doubts about the authenticity of those stone walls.  But then, they were never very bright even before being subjected to all of this.

Evil schoolgirl part 88
I can’t decide which I find more attractive: young ladies being cruel when I deserve it (as in the scenario here, if you can be bothered to read the whole thing) or young ladies being cruel when I don’t.

That anal hook will be mine.

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