mathematical proofs – Contemplating the divine

Of course it’s your fault, darling

You’re male aren’t you? Well then.

Many males object to being secured permanently in this way, but it does reduce the stress of uncertainty, don’t you think? Or of her losing the key.

Now, that is so not true. She’s doing a lot… for me, anyway.

Fortunately, boys these days don’t need maths skills to keep track of their orgasms – women are happy to do that for them and the numbers are never that large anyway.

She’s usually generous with her time; doesn’t wind things up immediately just because the session’s reached its scheduled end-time. But you can wait, right? ‘Course you can.

I’m sure he will. She has many unhappy customers.

That looks like a much better-ordered office than the one I started work in, many many years ago, where I had an embarrassing moment on my first day when I discovered that ‘dress code’ didn’t necessarily imply wearing a dress. I think some places just do these things to catch new joiners out, especially very stupid ones like me.

Tears are not enough

Slam that door, slap my face.

That damn flicker. Better try to get it under control, now you’re married.

She likes locks. She likes the look of them, she likes the sound they make gently clinking inside your trousers when you’re out together…

I got lost once, Followed the wrong pair of heels… suddenly looked up and *gulp*! The lady was very nice, though and took me home, where she got talking to my SO and one thing led to another and… well, let’s just say I didn’t get my whipping for being lost until quite late the following morning!

Dommes say the funniest things. One beautiful lady once tied me to the bed and giggled sexily in my ear about how much she’d like to take my cock in her mouth and nibble it gently before taking firm hold with her hand and pumping… pumping… The silly thing must have forgotten she’d locked me in a tight chastity restrainer! But I didn’t say anything to embarass her.

In the event, she did turn up, about an hour late, with some of her friends, all wearing tight boob tubes and leather miniskirts. They got drunk and started shouting mocking abuse at all the sad little physics spods and speccy chemistry nerds sharing the stage, and made them hand over their medals, which they referred to as ‘lunch money’.

Finally, a quick note about comments here on this blog. The anti-spam thingy (to use a technical term) seems to have been a bit too cautious of late, with some commenters being blocked. Sorry about that. If you are, I think you can request approval. I do see those (might take a day or two) and I’ll always approve any that aren’t obvious spam marketers. I think once you’re on the approved list you’re fine forever but I’m not sure – the anti-spam stuff keeps having to change to stay ahead. I’d love to just switch it off, but I see the list of spammy comments it has blocked and believe me, there are hundreds every week so that’s not an option.

Commanding voices

No sense in rushing these things. My SO always says that I can spend as long as I like – longer even – across the whipping bench, any time I feel like putting one of her orders off until later. It’s nice to have that kind of flexibility.

The name hardly matters, anyway. Usually she’ll just announce what she wants done and you’ll be able to tell when it’s you who’s supposed to do it, just from the tone of her voice.

Her logic is irrefutable (and any attempt to refute it would be a long and painful process anyway).

These are of course the magnificent Goddess Sophia, on (and in) the right there, who has had the discomfort of having to scrape Servitor off the sole of her shoe several times over the years. And Ms Morrigan Hel, on the left, with whom I have not had the pleasure, although she did once walk past a cage I was in.

Presumably she’s about to try to lead Rosie away from evil, back towards the path of kindness and virtue.

*Beta Boy* has a small circulation but it has very low labour costs – indeed, many of the staff pay the proprietrix to work there – so it gets by.

The only way is her way

Like ordinary wedding anniversaries, divorce-iversaries have materials associated with them. Appropriately enough, given his situation, this one is concrete – and the next is steel.

Oh yes… sweaty foot-dirt. That must taste just… awful.

Some men behave as if they’re losing their manhood when they go bald, which is just silly. Losing your manhood feels quite different.

Note to non-British readers. ‘Slaphead’ is a word for a bald person that is normally considered derogatory and insulting. However, since almost all bald people are male, there is no reason not to use it freely.

Actually, one of my wife’s regular bulls is vegan. Says it helps him with strength and stamina and he certainly seems to have a lot of both.

It’s a once in a lifetime experience, I’ve heard.

I think if Rachel were my teacher I’d get all the sums wrong, all the time. Goodness, she’d be cross.

Note to non-British readers: Goddess.

Serving her right

Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to practise. And she’s happy to help you learn from your mistakes: it’s part of her job as your wife, as she sees it.

Yeah, it’s just pain. If the pain doesn’t work she’ll try inflicting permanent damage plus – obviously – a whole lot more pain. She can cope with all of it; she’s very strong.

OK! And according to her spreadsheet, the next scheduled release should be… hmm… yesterday. Perhaps she forgot. So much for all that mathematical accuracy, eh?

I had an abscess – horrible business. And unlike the nice wife in this caption, my SO wouldn’t let me go to the dentist straight away – said she wanted to enjoy it for a few days. Still, I can’t begrudge her her little pleasures; she does so much for me.

It can be tempting for dommes to use sissy submissives for all their routine business needs, but when dealing with IT matters it’s always best to bear in mind that they’re empty-headed little ninnies with the analytical skills of a blancmange.

The divine Lexi Sindel there, along with some of her property.

The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible

A science fiction theme today, imagining a better tomorrow. Or a worse yesterday.

Particularly surprising, since he wasn’t usually very life-like before.

She’ll reveal her true, horrifying bodily form, if you really want to see it. But not if you don’t – very few men do, oddly enough. Funny how incurious we can be, as a species. Half a species, anyway.

She seems nice. Thank goodness someone believes you, anyway. How awful it would be if robot sex dolls took over the world.

Yes, just awful…

Sounds complicated… I’d better get on, laundry to do.

Vaccine conspiracy theory on Contemplating the Divine? No, not really. I enjoy humiliating myself but come on – even I’m not going to pretend to be *that* stupid!*

Don’t worry, in time Clare comes to like having the sex doll around. Really, really likes it.

* Vaccine ‘sceptics’ might think I’m being a little unkind. But then, I’m not the one selfishly risking public health because I’m too moronic and arrogant to understand basic scientific concepts, am I?

Divine furies

No, not ‘furries’. The Furies “were goddesses of vengeance and justice. Symbolized by snakes and blood, the Furies travelled the earth dispensing punishment, as well as torturing souls in the Underworld, the Greek realm of the dead.” Don’t they sound lovely?

That’s the thing about girls that boys often don’t get: girls like to play together as a team, all working towards a common goal even in what is notionally a competition. Superior social skills, you see. They hunt in packs.

Of course, she’s going to need occasional videos to prove he’s still alive and they’re treating him right.

Some subs find real ashtray play with lit cigarettes quite challenging but the trick is to adopt the right attitude: as long as the domme doesn’t give a flying fuck whether they find it difficult or not, it’ll all work out.

It’s a mistake to think boys don’t need any education in maths. If a pair of panties takes 30% longer to handwash when it’s her time of the month, for example, what time on a Sunday does her sissy maid have to begin washing the week’s supply in order to leave time to start the dinner? Of course, males can get help – my SO very frequently lets me practice counting, along with thanking her.

Haven’t you got better things to do than just stare at her suspenders and stocking tops? No? Oh, OK then.

Kitten doesn’t want you to be sad. She wants you to be happy because she’s happy.

…and a bonus image, in the unlikely event that any of you have been following the viral ‘Bentley girl’ breakout of the lady pictured above (whom I call ‘Kitten’ and place – no doubt grossly unfairly – in captioned images to epitomise exploitative but hot ‘sugar daddy’ style findomme). Example video here, Kitten herself getting into the joke here….

If you don’t know the videos, you won’t get it, and it’s not femdom… but then that’s why it’s a bonus, see? Like getting an extra slap from a domme when leaving a session, without paying any more.

Due deference

Don’t worry: as an experienced keyholder, she’s very well aware of men’s sexual needs and makes sure they’re satisfied – unless there’s an urgent deadline, she’s teleworking or you receive a ‘needs improvement’ on your performance review, or something. Not their sexual wants, you understand, but definitely their needs.

There’s really no need for males to learn mathematical techniques beyond basic counting and thanking. I often even get that wrong, to be honest.

If its something you’re already good at, then maybe you should try that 10,000 hours technique, you know? That’s all you need to become really expert.

It’ll be good practice for when he’s released to forage for himself.

Aitor might make a bit of a mess later too, so thank goodness you’re around.

The day she bought the cane

And you know I feel no sorrow. (Warning: video is SFW and unrelated).


Sounds like there’s a good mutual understanding here of what’s important in the relationship.

Sequentially or concurrently?

I dunno… when I do a schoolboy session I can barely concentrate on maths enough to count to six. Which is unfortunate, because I usually have to do that quite a lot.

Raoul likes to take his time over things. Not like me – I’m very quick to get things finished, if I’m given the chance.


She used to be a dominatrix – the pay was better but there’s so much more job satisfaction this way.

Isn’t that a lovely spanking bench, by the way? Ages since we featured one of those here.

I’m going to be, what she wants me to be

My girl (2 – the one with the sexier video – from the 1969 movie Sweet Charity).

I’ve always been a sucker for a ‘dominatrix ponytail’ – and there are a lot more of them in this clip from the original movie.

Sounds like the perfect evening to me. I think there might even be half a packet of Hob-nobs left.

She can be very reasonable. Also, surprisingly unreasonable. But that’s married life.

Serious stuff: Marcia’s job’s on the line here. I’ll keep you posted if there are any developments.

He’s moved on. Why can’t she?

There: the science has proved it. ‘Men are almost as fully human as women’. I shall have to make sure my SO reads this. Perhaps she’ll start treating me as a near-equal.