Shut, shut your mouth

cos she’s not listening anyhow.

Isn’t that just the way of it? You’ve met a girl, you think you’re getting on but then all of a sudden the conversation has to end so you can run screaming in terror from a pack of baying hounds, and end up being flayed alive. Story of my life.
It’s important to understand sarcasm when visiting a domme. But never try practising it. “Yeah, I ‘really’ want you to twist my scrotum around, then hang me by it from a hook. That would be ‘so great’, Mistress, ‘thanks'”.
Poor Kitten… she’s had to be so patient. It’s frustrating for her that you never seem to have any money except on payday. Can’t you do something about that?
The thing men’s libbers never really seem to address, is that they’re free to do whatever they want, as long as a woman approves. Honestly, they’re crying over nothing, when there’s so much more they could be crying about.
Or the ground before her feet… probably safer.
Hollywood actresses often get quite embarassed at how many unsolicited slaves they end up owning – they often give them to charities who can force them to work for good causes, I understand.

Every man with a vote was considered a foe to woman suffrage

So take away his vote and things should go just swimmingly. It’s a politics special.

And look, what can I say… I realise not every male pines for a future in which male ‘freedoms’ are abolished and men’s ‘rights’ and ‘dignity’ are crushed under a merciless steel-toed boot of righteous female fury. I get that, truly I do. Whippings, enforced chastity for those permitted to keep their genitals, electric shock collars… it’s not an easy life for males in the female supremacist utopia, I’ll admit. But can you look at how the world is run today – just look at a random headline, almost any day, quite frankly – and tell me, hand on your heart, that it wouldn’t be better like that? Hmm? Really?

Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins

Ah, the Bible is such a great source of vaguely pervy-sounding quotes. As are the collected works of Leopold Sacher-Masoch, for that matter. I just take inspiration from where I can get it.

There’ll be other opportunities. I’m sure all that worrying won’t go to waste.
I’m proud to say that I’ve never paid for sex in my life. Quite the oppposite, if anything.
She could ask you to finish the story for her, but she doesn’t want to embarass you unduly on the first day of your married life together.
Any male visitors suggesting their holy book is a modern fake will be scourged severely. But then, all male visitors get scourged severely anyway, so…
Her rule is that you can specify any limits you like in the email but if it’s NOT in the email, it’s fair game. And she’s a lot more creative than most of her clients, so she manages to have plenty of fun whatever the constraints.
He should be reassured: Anya’s something of an expert on testicular damage.

When you see someone putting on her Big Boots, you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen

There’s a theme today. See if you can guess what it is.

Looks like she’s come well prepared for the performance review. That’s so important.
Hmm… I mean, if food tastes strongly of leathery, sweaty boot, is it technically vegetarian? Probably best not to argue, but…
Thank goodness for that.
Actually, she won’t mind if he’s not a brave boy. She can be quite easygoing like that.

This is the lovely Mistress Vixen; you probably recognised her already from her very distinctive hair.

We fucked-up weirdos can be very annoying. Fortunately, it’s OK to take it out on us.
No, no, of course not.

Weak, pliant, ridiculous…

Aren’t we, though? Leopold Sacher Masoch said that and he was right about a lot of things.

Sorry – did you just ask about facial recognition? Do you really think she wants to bend down and… oh, that’s just perverted. We don’t want that sort of thing round here, thank you very much.
Don’t worry, she makes sure he sheds the excess pounds after the tournament. She has a special dietary regime called ‘chained up with no food’. It works a treat.
All those pretty dresses and they just want to wear jeans? Oh well, a lap is a lap, when you’re lying across it, I suppose.
They’re planning a big party at the weekend – over thirty guests. They dropped round to ask if she minded, and of course she said it was absolutely fine. Should be a fun evening.
She’s never had a problem motivating her students; in fact it’s the part of the job she enojoys the most.
My SO’s the same… even if it causes her mild discomfort, there are no lengths she won’t go to to ensure that any lessons I need to learn are soundly beaten in. So touching… it makes me cry.

But only if she says you can

Consent is so important in femdom, don’t you agree? So many men in the scene just don’t get that: but the way I see it, if you’re down on your knees and you want to get up but she doesn’t give her explicit consent, then that’s an absolute no-no. No ifs, no buts, no pleading. So what if your knees are hurting? Women have a right to decide what to do with their own males and that’s that.

Keep calm. It’s probably just one of those deals in which they remain attached to you but they’re ‘technically’ hers, you know? To kick and crush whenever she likes. Anyway, you might win. The King’s got to be the most powerful piece, right? And you’ve still got that.
If you think about it, it’s actually quite arrogant for a human male to think he deserves better treatment than a ‘real’ dog. I mean, dogs are quite intelligent, so if anything it should be the other way around.
Actually, one of the guys with a beard just behind her is wearing women’s slacks* under his shorts, so it’s not just you.
Just another stunningly beautiful woman (Nata Lee), lounging around in red lingerie until she gets cross and decides it’s time to put you over her lap and smack your bottom until you cry. Contemplating the Divine… because ‘real life’ is over-rated.
Of course the normal guys don’t pay anything like as much for making the mess as you have to to clean it up. But then if life was fair I guess we wouldn’t have femdom.
Anya’s a lot more relaxed and open about her AFM past then many A-listers. No names but if you happen to own a copy of April 2013, there’s a certain Hollywood megastar actress who’d pay a lot to get hold of it and remove it, permanently… or would pay someone else a lot to do the same to you.

I’m not a crossdresser (not by choice, anyway) but this actress’s understanding but ever so slightly amused expression is just perfect, don’t you think?

Just a quick word, darling?

Particularly annoying as I missed it last month for putting too little milk in. Still, once I finally get it right, everything should be fine.
Sometimes couples are more compatible than they realise. Now they can be open and honest with each other, I expect their relationship will become a lot deeper.
She just slipped him into something incomparably less comfortable.
In matching outfits, it seems.
Important to remember where your loyalties lie. I’m sure Mike has no doubts on that score.
She just likes to know where he is – especially if it’s ‘on the floor writhing around in pain and screaming apologies’.

Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal

As you know, this blog features immature material on mature themes so I suppose I do both these things.

NB: anyone playing the game of ‘guess the original song/poetry* won’t succeed with this one, as it’s just a handy safety mnemonic. Y’know like: “Stub it out on arse or thighs, he’ll lose his sight if in his eyes.”

* But did you get all the rest?

No woman is so good or so bad, but that at any moment she is capable of the most diabolical as well as of the most divine

I don’t think she should pander to the male gaze like that – why should she have to go to the trouble of snapping her bra every few months just for his pleasure?
He should have read her FAQs more carefully. OK, they don’t specifically mention beards – or anything to do with facial hair, to be honest – but they are quite clear about being ‘annoying’ and I think even beardy-boys can be expected to read between the lines just a little.
Oooh – sissy maid play? But what shall we iron?
As is usually the case when one has to leave a video call early, it took Trevor a minute or two over his official ‘hard stop’ deadline to extricate himself from the call. But she was very understanding about it. Not forgiving – not in the least – but very understanding.
They say the nervous waiting, wondering what it will be like, is the worst part. But that probably just goes to show that ‘they’ have never been fucked hard enough up the arse, as that is definitely the worst part.
Right now, I’m thinking of little else.

Nothing is so beautiful as Spring

Except the ladies here, and my SO, of course.

It’s only women who know when men have had enough, weirdly enough. They say things like “No more pizza, darling, you’ve had quite enough!” or “No, darling: back over the chair; you haven’t had nearly enough, yet.” I don’t know how we’d manage on our own.
It occasionally makes little clicky noises, but she doesn’t mind.

The redoubtable, talented piano player, Mistress Vixen, there.

Soon she won’t even need the hat.
She wants each and every one of the boys in her class to succeed to the very best of his abilities, and she has the teaching skills and determination to make sure they do.
He did, but he had to take it back and get a better one. Ah… lovely to see a young couple learning all about one another: what they like, what they hate…
Would have made an even more enjoyable movie. I saw adverts for a film about schoolgirls being mean and I thought they wasted much of the opportunity. Although I would say, on balance, I found it quite ‘fetch’.