cage – Contemplating the divine

Hooray hooray (13b because I lost count)

Seductive reasoning

I break easily.

Simon, like many alphas, sometimes finds it hard to understand subs. It’s not his fault, of course: it’s because he’s a male and males are stupid.

She briefly renamed him “Whiny, pleady pathetic cry-baby” but ended up with the rather unsurprising “Skinny Bastard”.

I believe this sweet lady is Mistress Tess. I’m sure she can help you, too, discover a new healthier lifestyle, if you ask very nicely.

Lots of men have irrational fears about castration. OK, just occasionally those fears might be rational but there’s no point in brooding on these things and letting them ruin your life.

The World Sadistic Games are much more fun to watch than regular sporting competitions. The Ladies’ Javelin, for instance, which not only involves strength and the ability to throw far but also tests the athletes’ aim.

She’s so fine, there’s no tellin’ where the money went

Another totally forgettable song from that pointless 80s guy, having his career saved by the goddesses in his videos. Is it just me, or does the goddess annoyingly hidden by his left shoulder (reminder for male readers: his left is our right) at about 3.30 look like she’s thinking about something else? And the goddess on the second row far left (our left, boys… not that difficult) just looks embarrassed throughout.

Oddly enough, if you really understood her plan, you wouldn’t be worried about the animal in the middle there, but about the teddy bear to the right. I don’t want to spoil the surprise – just consent, and you’ll find out soon enough.

There’s also ‘lucky dip’, where he gets to spin a wheel marked with the numbers one to five at the start of each week. But – shhhh! – if his patroness wants that spin to result in a particular outcome… well, that’s doable, if you know what I mean.

Some people are like that – they’ll just drop everything if someone else asks. She can actually be quite assertive, so don’t assume this is typical. She’s no doormat. He is, but that’s more a literal description than a judgement of his character.

Ungrateful little sod. You’d think he’d be pleased to get out and stretch his… his… well, whatever part or parts of his anatomy are about to be stretched, I suppose.

Try to be worthy of the honour.

When life gives you lemons…

…strap him down to a table, clip his eyelids open and squeeze the juice into them.

Too unpleasant for you? Then you definitely will not want to watch this clip of women (as the title indicates) brutally torturing men to death.

No, seriously, you won’t. That clip is not some kind of happy S&M consensual game, nor are the terrified victims saved at the last minute from the evil torturers (don’t you hate it when that happens in mainstream movies?). It is possibly the most unpleasant, brutal mainstream clip I have ever seen. Very nasty stuff.

I mean, who could possibly enjoy that sort of thing? You’d have to be a truly sick weirdo to get any kind of sexual pleasure from that. Simply horrible, it is. Vile.

Mmmm.

Anyway, on we go!

Some poor sod’s going to have to clean that up, you know.

‘Non-lethal’ is how I like my femdom play.

Yes, let’s hope Ellie doesn’t take it out on them. She’d got a terrible temper, you know.

The people have spoken… the ones wanking online, anyway, and that’s good enough for her.

Thank goodness none of that applies to any of us, eh readers? Imagine the (fully justified) self-loathing you’d have to feel to get off on something like this.

Describable agonies

Finally treated as a grown-up! Looks like all that pleading and whining paid off.

So do I. That’s why I run this blog.

See, the thing about chastity routines is all those little ‘fines’ and ‘extras’ can really add up. I’m supposed to be on monthly release but sometimes I can go six months without, what with one thing or another. And apparently asking what I am being fined for is ‘impertinence’ for which I get an additional three months ! Sometimes it just doesn’t seem fair, although I’m sure she intends it to be.

No, not that kind of cage. The sort you live in. Permanently, it would seem. Interesting philosophical question: if a door is welded shut, is it still a ‘door’? Something to think about, eh? You’ll have plenty of time…

I was once told ‘be careful what you wish for’ in femdom but I’ve never really understood why. I mean I fervently, desperately wish she’d stop whipping me, most days, or I wish in increasing frustration for sexual release. Neither wish has the slightest effect, so I really don’t see the harm in it.

Malicious minds

Don’t you know I’m caught in a trap?

Any specific plans? Or just an early night… that would probably be best, actually, so you’re all ready in the morning.

But the diet doesn’t have to be healthy all the time, either. She likes to mix and match, so to speak. Femdom’s all about choices: having them, denying them, whatever.

The lovely, wise and occasionally delightfully cross Ella Kross.

Or even a bit longer if she needs it… it’s traditional for a bride to arrive a little late, keeping her anxious groom waiting at the altar.

Wherever she goes, but on all fours and two paces behind, I hope.

It makes my blood boil, seeing the divine Anne being disrespected. To be honest, it makes my blood boil just seeing the divine Anne, so we’re actually all the way into pulmonary embolism territory here.

A few bad men

Let’s hope she learns from this little conundrum. An espresso machine prepared and ready to go just within button-pressing reach of a pilloried hand and she can have her aching, tearful, regretful husband and a freshly brewed cup, both at the same time.

Most of the choices I face are no-brainers, which all the women who have ever known me would probably agree is just as well.

Princess Kali, there – lovely and an accomplished author too.

She could even theme your confession with the outfit by putting the lasso of truth around you. That would be a nice, gentle start to what is about to happen.

Let’s hope the greeting ritual she chooses is number 17. I’m particularly good at that one.

Come on… you’ve got this. Two pawns down is nothing – you started with ten of them, right? Something like that. Try moving one of the little horsey ones.

Forceful females, meek males

Oh dear. You had one job… Well, OK, you had several jobs if you count all the chores and you even had two jobs at a time during the spit-roasting bit but you know what I mean.

It’s their ‘rattan’ anniversary.

Maybe she should. I hope she makes her mind up quickly rather than dithering about it… odd, because she’s usually very decisive.

The extra said yes – well, of course he did – but sadly the scene was cut from the movie. He has developed quite a successful career though and has now had several minor speaking roles. He was “Squeaky-voiced guy in elevator” in one of the recent Marvel movies, for instance.

It’s the way she tells them.

Sweet surrender

It’s basically harmless: it’s just in a cage to keep it from getting into trouble, that’s all.

Life-long learning. Apparently we’ll all be doing that in the future, which sounds very exciting.

No, nothing.

Happiest day of your life they say. OK, that’s not always true but it does seem certain there will be a great many days after this one that are thoroughly unhappy, so it’s quite an accurate description.

Oh well. She tried. Now she’ll try something else.

Womanly vices

Sure she can. Lucy doesn’t mind a few bruises on her toys – if anything, it can make them even more sensitive.

She finds it pretty annoying working for a male CEO, actually, which is why it’s so important that she can talk through her day and work off some of those frustrations when she gets home.

A bit more lube, maybe?

It’s as if your pain receptors are directly linked to the pleasure centres of her brain. It’s great when a couple just ‘clicks’ like that.

He didn’t have the nerve to ask whether she allows her clients ‘happy endings’ but she does – specifically, she unties them and lets them limp away.