hunting – Contemplating the divine

Heavenly beings

If there is, I’m sure it’s a problem that won’t take her long to sort out.

You know, true connoisseurs can tell from just one sniff which mistress pissed in their wine, and what she had to eat over the last 24 hours.

Actually, he has a sneaky plan to take an emetic and vomit it out, so he’s smiling inside. It’s great, being a submissive, isn’t it? Imagine how awful it would be to have a different fetish, one for which you didn’t have to suffer.

Yes, her. But her web site seems to have last been updated in 2019, so alas…

She puts a lot of effort into it too – I hope you’ll be suitably grateful, once you’re able to speak again.

Callers can end up spending a lot of time on hold, listening to annoying music broken by an occasional recorded message assuring the caller that all their operatives are currently busy or can’t be bothered to take a call and that his call is utterly unimportant to them.

Some people say it’s cruel. Others say ‘Yeah, sure it is. And?’

New series! Brutal, unpleasant and – so far at least – with very longwinded captions. But if you’re into the idea of running naked at the limits of your endurance, desperately gulping lungfuls of air as you flee in terror for your life, pursued by whip-wielding jodhpur-clad ladies on horseback intent on your mutilation and painful death (and let’s face it, all of that adds up to a very attractive image), you might like these).

More mundanely, I understand commenting here has become harder the last few weeks. That’s not something I want to happen, so I have tried tweaking the anti-spam settings a bit. I found out for example that it was considering all comments containing the word ‘penis’ to be spam. I’ve deleted that but ‘penis enlargement’ continues to feature on the list, as that is not something this blog supports – quite the opposite, if anything. I’ll keep a better eye on this – apologies if you felt the urge to comment recently and were discouraged.

The nymphs tread out their ground, fa la

.. for now is the month of Maying. Fa la la la la la la la.

A latex-shining session? Pah – that’s practically vanilla. You’ve got a proper femdom activity booked, you have, so go ahead and enjoy every authentic moment of it.

That’s a shame, as the date was going quite well up to that point. Maybe they’ll leave you their phone numbers.

My SO is fine with me deciding for myself what I want to eat when we go out to a restaurant. She doesn’t usually let me have it, of course.

Don’t worry, she’s only planning to shoot to wound. Much more fun that way.

The shapely ankles and calves within these elegant boots belong to Miss Chambers, of Cruella fame. Now if only we could see her lovely, lovely nose too.

That’s a good clause. I have it tattooed on me, just in case I ever forget.

Oh, and as a little bonus, I just discovered this delightful thing and felt compelled to share it.

#Chris Pine from Entertainment Weekly

Heaven-sent

… and very nice too*

All the ways I could be a better husband? Wow. I think I’m going to need two days locked in the stocks, at least.

What a lot of fuss, about a routine operation. You’d think I was the first person whose tonsils she’d removed. I… hang on… didn’t I have my tonsils out when I was a teenager?

Oh, don’t worry: I’ll keep looking. I might cry a little, if that’s OK.

She insists on her tea being just the way she likes it. Also the ironing, bed corners, washing up, bookshelves, underwear drawer, bath, breakfast, ornaments, cushions, carpets, gin & tonic, shoes, lawn, floor tiles, nail polish, ….

The splendidly-named Miss Hunter, on whose wall I would love to end up as a trophy.

Many dommes find the things we submissives do disgusting. That’s why they so enjoy hitting us.

* but if anyone happens to be able to locate the scene in the British sitcom Game On (rather a lovely ‘situation’: sad male failures share flat with goddess) in which Samantha Janus rushes around putting her make-up on to this song, I’d be most grateful.

Excruciatingly pleasurable

Why bring up painful old memories? She seems nice… maybe it’s time for a fresh start?

Oddly enough, I never experienced corporal punishment as a child. My SO says we have to make up for lost time, and she’s probably right. She usually is.


Why do my dates always end up like this?

Traditional country sports went through a bit of a low patch in the years between the Foxhunting (Prohibition) Act and the Sexual Offences (Remedial and Preventative Measures) Act, but they’re now more popular than ever, even though men aren’t allowed to take part. As riders, I mean.


Oh dear. She’s right, you know. I am a very, very bad person. Fortunately, this very evening I am visiting someone to whom I have given a lot of money to beat me for my sins. So that’s all right.

Freddie’s back

If you like Contemplating the Divine* then you will certainly have loved Freddie’s Tales.** You, therefore, like me, will have been devasted when Freddie’s Tales disappeared from one day to the next. Also like me, therefore***, you will be absolutely delighted that Freddie is back, with a new blog and no doubt just raring to produce more of those fabulous Beetle books.

So get yourself over to Freddie’s new blog. I – hey come back! I didn’t mean now. Read the captions below first, moron. That’s what you came here for, right? Men… I dunno.

My SO and I have been experimenting with pre-signed suicide notes. It’s a kind of next-level thing, you know? Edgy, I know, but it works for us.

I think I can give her 110%.

Sounds like you are actually going to be discussing it… at length. But not until you’re safely married.

Consent seems to be a theme of this post. That’s because it’s so important. My SO always insists that I consent to everything she does to me.

Thank goodness they no longer hunt foxes. That was so cruel.

* And if you don’t like Contemplating the Divine what the fuck are you doing here? Are you some kind of weird masochist or something? Freak.

** Except the Femsub bits, obviously. One day, I hope young Freddie will meet a lady who will set him right about the suitability of that sort of material.

*** Writing this, I realise how uncannily similar we are, you and I. We laugh at the same things, cry together – we should get a drink some time, yeah?

Her aim is true

Girls with guns! Babes with bazookas! Ladies with lethal weaponry! Women with weapons! Femmes with firearms! Honeys with hunting rifles! Goddesses with…erm… guided missiles?

That’s today’s theme, anyway. We don’t always have a theme. But today we have naming of parts. Makes a change from daily cleaning.

When I look at her, I can barely think at all.

This is her rifle. There are many like it, but this one is hers.

Or in a pie.

Hmmm. If only men could think faster. I’m sure I could come up with a plan.

It’s always irritating just hearing half of a phone conversation, isn’t it?

You made a life out of hurting me

Well, a career anyway. (warning: link is DSFW*)

*Disappointingly safe for work.

Yeah, just do whatever comes naturally. She doesn’t mind.

Apparently, onset of the male menopause can occur as early as your 20s. You just have to marry the right woman.


And what’s Ioannis got that I haven’t, I’d like to know?

In an emergency, she could always just use one of the hotel’s coathangers or something.

She only puts the big ones on her trophy wall. Smaller ones she makes into into novelty hat or shoe racks and sells them on e-bay..

Fear and loving

Oh, no. Not Lucy.

They do furnish a room.

It’s a good idea to have it written there on the fridge, to remind you both that it’s overdue. I’m sure she’ll get round to it, though – no need to nag.

Boring old politics. Still, you’d better go along to look pretty on her arm.

You could kiss and make up.

Category: hunting