Forceful femininity
Stories and pictures themed around female domination and male subjugation and servitude. Unsuitable for children, for alpha males, for hard-core practitioners with an interest in the politics of bdsm and the mechanics of complicated rope work. Of interest to perverts like me, basically.
Ah, once again you have graphically tapped into and reflected the simultaneous power and absurdity of my arousal triggers.
I find myself absolutely thrilled by the “Hang on, Dave” photograph – fixated in helpless adoration by the sliver of thigh on display. And even more thrilled by the thought of the model tugging the dress downwards to limit even further that infinitely precious sight.
So far, so understandable. Men have been thrilled by such things since the dawn of time, and certainly since the era of “What the Butler Saw” machines and the commercialisation of the “strip-tease”. The clue’s in the name, after all: it’s the tease that’s the significant part – the reason why tantalising partial nudity is generally more arousing than the full thing.
But to the genuine submissive, this denial of being able to see what we long to is not simply an erotic game – a temporary withholding of a treat that will eventually be granted and then feel more satisfying as a consequence of that delay. No, I truly believe I do not deserve to see the amount of leg this model was showing – truly believe it is right that she deny me that undeserved pleasure. And I eroticise that denial, such that I am genuinely more excited by seeing less of her and never getting to see more …
… but, as you point out, the logical end-point of that mindset is the “hardcore” version of the photograph – the one showing only the chair and the wall. So that is the version I should find most exciting, then – the one that most fully delivers on my desire for denial? No, not at all – I would find such a photograph wholly un-erotic. (Actually, I can imagine finding that version exciting, but only in a scenario in which I had paid the model for it – but that’s more to do with findom and humiliation than with the subject in hand.)
So I have to accept that my desires are nonsensical. I love to look at beautiful women … but I am more excited by not being able to see as much of them as I would like to … but if I don’t get to see “enough” of them (whatever “enough” is) then I feel unexcited instead. So there is clearly some sort of “sweet spot” of partial nudity that is most pleasing to me. Fine …
.. except not fine. In telling myself I am genuine in my submissive feelings of respectfulness, I claim not to be motivated by what is selfishly “pleasing to me”. The whole point of my claimed submissiveness is that my own pleasure is secondary to my desire that my betters enjoy the pleasure only they deserve – including their right not to be perved at and lusted over by the likes of me.
I could worry about this, but life’s too short. Does it mean I’m a fraud? Who cares? As long as we all actually treat each other (the women we claim to worship and even also the fellow males we claim to despise) with respect in real life, then I believe all this is harmless entertainment that tickles a spot for us in an enjoyable and healthy way – just as it should be.
Thank you, as ever
tom
Wow, tom, thank you for that thoughtful essay. I agree completely – nothing wrong with nonsensical desires and even contradictory or inconsistent urges. In the original summary text for this blog, when it was on Blogger, I made a proud boast that nothing on here was intended to be remotely realistic and I stand by that principle.
I have no time for blogs that worry and debate over the right way to do femdom. My kink is what it is and it’s absurd but it’s fun so – as you say – who cares!
We do, of course, have the one advantage over almost all other kinks, that when our kink is expressed in a particularly absurd way, it is OK to be mocked for it, because that can be part of the humiliation. Imagine taking seriously a kink like being into plushies and being in mortal fear in a session with a sex worker that she’ll laugh at you for fucking a teddy bear! Any domme who wants to ridicule my sexual desires in session is only making things better for me.
Best wishes
S
How strange. I have written a handful of carefully crafted apology letters in my life and no matter how good they were I would always end up getting punished anyways.
I guess we are never up to par…
Yes… my SO always says that it’s OK for me to be sorry, but she wants me to feel it, not just say or write it, which seems only fair.
Best wishes
S
While it’s true that every guy should wear a chastity belt, which I’d consider part of his anatomy, to be absolutely sure he’s not distracted by work, constant camera monitoring is also necessary to prevent distractions like scratching or stopping.
I’ve heard that deterrence can work, Maria. That is: instead of monitoring continuously and administering mild chastisement for every observed infraction, randomly monitor just a tiny fraction of his behaviour and unleash unspeakable hell for any fault. Of course, many men will take the gamble, being risk-taking animals, but that’s their problem.
Best wishes
S
Oh you men. Don’t take it seriously. It’s all absurd. Laugh at it all. I really enjoy men who can make me laugh, and who can laugh at themselves. Thanks Tom and Servitor.
Smiling,
Rosita
Glad to hear it, Rosita. I think there’s no sound I like more than women’s laughter, even when it is just echoing behind me as I try to pull my trousers back up and leave in embarrassment.
Best wishes
S
Wearing male chastity and going to work it would be very difficult in an office work I guess would be o.k. but when it is winter or summer not possible I would not tell my future girlfriend about it how well known is female led relationship or the letters and the meanings F.L.R
But what if your future girlfriend found out for herself, GriGor? They can, you know.
Best wishes
S
Since I don’t know you the person that will be replying to me first how does Maria look like if she is not made up if I knew
Maria was replying I would start my talk like this: It would be very helpful if an expert could tell me where to learn what female led relationship really is and how well people know about it. When messaging it would be nice if I knew am I being replied by a Live human or a mindless a.i. if you are a Living human expert talking about female led relationship For Fun I could call you my Lady my Goddess or whatever you say. if one of those women in the pictures was talking to me would be “minimum exciting”.
When you say Maria, do you mean me?
I’m a bit lost in all this, but then as my SO says: if men didn’t get so easily confused, they wouldn’t need such frequent caning and I’m sure she’s right.
Best wishes
S