lipstick – Contemplating the divine

Being the best she can make me

You know, there are whole ‘pick-up artist’ sites that are all about how to get women to take their panties off, but none of them have hit upon this very simple technique. It’s just about understanding her needs, really.

I would. I wonder what it would have felt like.

Going to be a long, hot summer.

More women suffer from having excessively deep vaginas than many men realise – almost everyone I’ve been on a date with has had that problem, remarkably.

It’s a form of ‘one woman one vote’ system.

Further details available here.

Heels over head in love

Like many submissive men, I pay not to have sex.

At school, once, this boy and I were talking about some girl and he said “I’d like to get in her knickers!” So when, a few weeks later, after a midnight excursion, I was able to tell him I was in her knickers, I thought he’d be jealous. But he wasn’t, oddly enough. It was just a misunderstanding. How we laughed. The whole class laughed, if I remember rightly.

Benji is actually the Honourable Sir Benjamin Kettleworth-Harcourt, FRCS, but of course he can neither remember nor pronounce that.

Married couples should talk about their interests more.

How does she know I’m scrumptious? I didn’t detect a French accent, there.

I beg to differ

… but she rarely lets me.

I don’t want to do anything she disapproves of. It’s too painful.

Always expect the unexpected. Except on this blog, where we ran out of ideas years ago and just keep recycling the same old tropes.

It’s only a small bottle, but they deliver them in packs of 24, annoyingly.

Sure,
darling, of course, I… do you know, I don’t seem to have a pen with
me? What a shame, I’ll just – what’s that? You have one with you,
darling? Oh. Oh good. Right. So I just sign…? There. Right.

Mmm… blackmail fetish and schoolgirl play combined! Lots of fun.

You made a life out of hurting me

Well, a career anyway. (warning: link is DSFW*)

*Disappointingly safe for work.

Yeah, just do whatever comes naturally. She doesn’t mind.

Apparently, onset of the male menopause can occur as early as your 20s. You just have to marry the right woman.


And what’s Ioannis got that I haven’t, I’d like to know?

In an emergency, she could always just use one of the hotel’s coathangers or something.

She only puts the big ones on her trophy wall. Smaller ones she makes into into novelty hat or shoe racks and sells them on e-bay..

Her husband; her rules

It’s only fair, right?

She can certainly make you less happy in the days and years to come, should she choose to do so. Thoroughly miserable, in fact. So in that sense, today is indeed the high point.

Sounds exciting! Some sort of wet ‘n’ messy play, I imagine?

Yes, you really must stay to comfort her. It can’t have been easy for her, losing three husbands in a row like that.

I don’t usually link to tumblrs but I will give a shout-out to Strict Widow, as I love the concept and I’m using it quite a lot for material!

Ah – a caption turning on the finer points of English grammar. One for the Editor Domme, there.

While we’re on the subject of tumblrs… Just remember you’re apostrophe’s if you comment on her site, for gods sake, OK?

Dominant males quite often feature in this blog, actually. You can’t always tell the difference between them and the subs, but believe me, when I post a picture of some male under female control, with hands secured and cock firmly locked away or absent, it’s often a male dom formerly known as “Master Roger” or some such.

…and here‘s an extra one, without words.

Blonde obedience

You just have to be polite. You don’t have to approve of castration yourself – you’re welcome to your own opinion, after all. She might not take any particular notice of your opinion, but you can have it.

A talent you never knew you had.

I don’t uderstand people who pay for vanilla sex. I mean, I go to a dominatrix, it’s two hours of punishment and humiliation. A really rich, varied experience. Pay someone for straight sex and what have you got? Three seconds of fun, maybe four?

Chemical castration. Hmm. Not much fun for her, is it?

Little toys for little boys.