Category: feelings of utter inadequacy
Queen for ever, ceasing never
Following yonder star.
Youngers and betters
Memo to self: stop using the phrase “there’s nothing worse than X” in front of SO. She takes it as a personal challenge. |
You’ll soon discover that a day with no whipping at all is a special day. Very special. |
Don’t worry, they’re not having you castrated and lobotomised until after the marriage. Just after: between the ceremony and the reception. You can think of it as your wedding gift to them. |
Poor old Simon – doesn’t get to see the sexy lingerie! And to think she was worried you might be jealous of him. |
Appendectomy: of course. After all, that nurse would hardly have shaved his groin area this morning if it was his throat that was being operated on, now would she? | |
Feet first
It’s got to turn out my way one of these times… |
Hmm… looks like she’s finished all of that bottle of water. |
If it were being totally candid, it might suggest that it would occasionally appreciate being whipped just a little less hard, but fortunately it has the sense to keep its moronic opinions to itself. |
I don’t see how the marriage can be regarded as consummated unless she has had sex too. Hmm… do you suppose that bell-boy is still around? He seemed nice. |
I think he’ll be cleaning her tank again. |
The seven stages
- Denial
- Anger
- Indiferent denial, with a warning
- Bargaining
- Denial with retribution
- Desperate pleading
- Amused denial
You can get an app for it too. Every day, it doesn’t remind you. |
He thought if he told them he was a vicar they’d go easy on him. He was wrong. My friend who’s an investment banker had a similar experience but much, much worse. |
Fortunately, the balls don’t feel like the same thing either. No more worrying about that knee! But there are other things to worry about… |
I didn’t understand why it had to be so wide, but then I met Richard. |
Lip service
Panic of girls
Oh well. It has to be better than that call centre in Dhaka she put me in last year. |
That is what little boys are made of, after all. Somehow I always knew. |
Well, as long as she’s genuinely rehabilitated herself, I suppose it’s OK. |
Girls have always known I’m ‘special’ and treated me accordingly. |
I feel disempowered every time I even see a picture of Gal Gadot. I go weak at the knees. |
Shameful display!
20 minutes? Women, eh? I can get there in 20 seconds, usually before I’ve even got my trousers off. |
,,,and footboys are sworn to the code of secrecy. Also, rarely if ever allowed to go out or communicate with anyone except Mistress. |
He likes her to be pristine for when he comes on her breasts. |
Suffering fools
Gladly or otherwise.
I never want to be more than two paces behind… for the rest of my life. |
I hate having to disturb her when she’s working. But I can’t just take money from her purse without permission, so… |
Tony gets steak and chips… not fair, I say. But then he does have a night of vigorous sexual activity ahead of him, so I suppose he needs the calories. |
Aparently, a lot of condemned prisoners have women writing to them offering sex. I don’t think that’s going to happen to him, though. |
Power play
Ah… the abusive dommie-psycho-mommie scene. Part of every domme’s standard repertoire. And all you need to get started are some wire coathangers. |
The previous guy found the smell a bit pungent too. In fact, he said it made him vomit, it was so bad. But I’m sure he was exaggerating. |
Everyone knows women all love sitting around having their boots cleaned and then smeared with semen. It’s amazing dommes get away with charging their clients so much to let them do it, really. |
It won’t matter to anyone who matters, anyway. |