furniture – Contemplating the divine

Women of consequence

You often hear it said that women don’t really care about cock size and that’s certainly been my experience. Most women I’ve dated have made clear to me that the size of my cock is of no interest or practical significance whatever, as far as they are concerned.

In the modern world, men have to learn to be supportive if they want to remain useful.

Oh, you can stick with being Number 13. You’re already among the luckiest men alive, to be one of her paypigs, so I don’t think you need to worry about anything bad happening.

Men don’t really do irony. Screaming and begging for mercy, that’s what they do.

Tamara Kenworthy there… oh, Tamara Kenworthy.

Who is also the lovely Samantha Alexander, here being delightful and non-dominational in a video introduced by (formerly Strict Miss) Zoe Page. So regrettably vanilla, although so captivating in appearance and voice and the line “We’re not in Chesterfield any more” gets extra points for Britishness. Does anyone know if the other lady, Charlotte Elizabeth, is also a domme? She looks kinda dommey.

Now he has to endure that agonising pause while he awaits her reply. She’s *really* good at agonising pauses.

How could you not, when she smiles so sweetly?

Pleading hearts

Don’t worry if you’re not ‘man enough to take it’, that won’t bother her in the least.

If it gets too irritating, she could always turn it into one of those cults where everyone kills themselves. Or I suppose she could just stop reading their prayer-filled messages on social media… Anyway, she has options.

That’s the third time Mistress ‘forgot’ this month. She never used to be that forgetful. I do hope she’s all right.

If it’s really the nails that are bothering you, she could use screws? Or just industrial glue, I suppose, but that would be a lot less fun for her.

Or have a sissy-fight over it, with lots of shrieking and hair-pulling.

Helplessly devoted

She might at some point make you consent to what’s going on, just to ease her conscience.

If after you’ve discussed them there are *still* things the two of you disagree on, well, you can always just discuss them again, can’t you?

Could be the start of something beautiful. A turning point, so to speak.

I once cancelled a session with a domme at short notice but she ignored me and went ahead anyway. Quite right too.

Sometimes guys think going 24/7 means they can’t ask for things any more, and that’s just such a misunderstanding. I’m always asking my SO for stuff – food or water, mostly – and usually she doesn’t mind at all.

Sometimes, the ferals watch her being oiled up by one of her domesticated males and just walk into the cages of their own accord.

Superior wisdom

Every idea I’ve ever had is above my station, I reckon.

Good thing someone thought to bring clothespegs.

Yes. If the pain’s too much, she definitely wants to know, OK?

She can make quite a persuasive argument. In fact, I’m hooked already.

They shouldn’t worry too much. The mistresses there mostly aren’t into heavy pain play. Not with female subs. And with male subs it’s not really ‘play’ anyway.

Funny how I wanted to say “No. No there isn’t! And there won’t be any more coffee for another couple of *months*! How do you like that you… you…” But it came out as “No, I think that was the last, darling. Shall I make some fresh?”

Maleness, managed

Some might say it’s not quite summer yet, so it’s a bit early to be putting him outside for the night, but she says the fresh air’s good for him.

It’s the extras that really define how well a marriage will work. This one looks strong.

Har de har har. Sorry about that.

Always a bit embarrassing to meet an old flame, but she’s making the effort so you should too.

You know, her relationship with Raoul would probably break down completely if you weren’t around. Well done you.

Indignity

Ah… furniture privileges. I remember the first time my SO told me I wasn’t allowed on the furniture any more and I cheekily asked if that included the whipping bench. How we laughed… or we would have done if I’d dared say it out loud.

Elbow-length latex gloves should come with a safety warning, in my view. And latex gloves that cover the full length of the arm are just unsafe, no matter what the ‘experts’ might tell us about the length of the lower intestine.

See all the little gold rings on their toes? Aren’t they pretty? They’ve got lots more gold rings, for you to wear, so maybe you’ll look just as pretty too. But they’re not going on your toes, obviously.

If it’ll help, the soaking wet towel she is planning to ram down your throat will taste quite soapy.

You might think that spousal abuse is neither funny nor sexy. My wife disagrees, though: she loves it, so who am I to argue?

Gynarchy for the UK

It’s coming some time…maybe.

All these are to be read out in a Bri-ish accent, orright?

Don’t worry – she’ll give her one more chance. She’s quite forgiving really. She’s just cross because she’s got to go to all the trouble of murdering you and disposing of the body, that’s all.

I myself am very firmly opposed to corporal punishment. Forunately, nobody pays a blind bit of attention to my views.

She’s good at riddles, too.

Send him out? Honestly, Henry shouldn’t let her just boss him around like that. He should stand up for himself… be a man.

He does. But I’m sure he’s grateful inside. The British Institution – not to be confused with the Royal Institution, although the one time the BBC made that mistake was the best Christmas science lecture series ever.

See if you can spot the eight men concealed within this picture!