boxing – Contemplating the divine

Uxoraphobia

Oh dear, I thought she might have forgotten about that little accident. Still, I expect she isn’t one to hold a grudge. It wasn’t her very best skirt.

She doesn’t like to hurt you any more than she has to.

Well, that doesn’t sound like much of a challenge for her. I hope she doesn’t get bored, poor thing.

I missed out on the era of corporal punishment in schools, but I guess we’re living through a golden age of corporal punishment outside them, so I’ve not done so badly.

Um… yeah. Listen, don’t take what she said to heart, OK? It’s barely noticeable. Really.

…and one I’ll call a bonus as there isn’t necessarily anything femdom about it:

A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me

I think Abraham Lincoln said that. Which just goes to show that even the smartest guys can be really, really dumb when it comes to the unfairer sex, but there you go.

And here we go. Not an Abraham Lincoln-themed day, startlingly enough.

Men are stronger than women but chains are stronger than wrists – and steel or even plastic is stronger than a cock, so it’s all right.

Don’t blame her for being so clingy – or for the concern about your untimely death. When you think of what happened to her first two husbands, it’s hardly surprising, is it? The poor thing.

She takes a holistic approach to cleaning. It’s not just about cleaning the apartment; it’s also about cleaning up your lifeand tidying up your attitudes (and cleaning out your mouth too, if need be).

Don’t worry, it’s just a job to her. She leaves it behind every day, when she walks out of the Retributution Room and washes the blood off her rubber apron and lets the screams fade behind her. Oh – and she likes rom-coms. That’s OK with you, yeah? For some guys it’s a no-no.

Looks like another quiet evening in, then.

Much better to be the only slave in their cottage than to be one of any number of interchangeable males at the back and call of some city woman. Think of all the attention you’ll get! Plus all that healthy country air.

Feminine ferocity

It’s important to think about her needs, not just your own selfish desire not to be in agony.

To be fair, many femdom activities seem unlikely to be compatible with evolutionary success. Chastity, for one.

Oh good. I wonder what it is.

She has testimonials from several hundred eternally unsatisfied clients to prove it.

I’ll go to the end of the line, then.

Striking poses

As my SO points out: lots of women enjoy sex with their husbands, she prefers sex without her husband. The difference is only a few letters but it’s a big deal for her, so who am I to argue?

Mmmm … a severe scolding, Mistress?

It’s going to be a special day for her boyfriends too. And their mates.

Of course the OWK had safewords really. In a variety of quite widely-spoken Central European languages, so there was really no excuse for ‘guests’ not knowing how to pronounce them perfectly.

Her kink is not your kink – are you going to make a selfish fuss?

Unnecessary cruelty

But the world would be a grey and soul-less place if we only did things that were strictly ‘necessary’, don’t you think? Sometimes we have to live a little.

Her leadership style is simultaneously ‘top down’ and ‘bottom up’ if you can imagine such a thing.*

He thought she’d bought them to present him masturbating. But that turned out to be the other package she’d had delivered, the heavier one.

Financial domination is a rapidly-growing segment of the economy, in these difficult times. It’s just a more efficient way of giving money to superior ladies, without having to go through all the nonsense of dressing up in fetish clothes, meeting them in person or in any way bothering them.

When you’ve had enough things slapsplained, oddly enough, you actually find it increasingly difficult to retain information that has been imparted any other way. After a really effective slapsplaining session, for instance, I am usually very well informed on the specific matter under discussion, but find it hard to remember my own name or where I am.

Why not both? Freak pays and fucks off. It’s a win-win-lose, which sounds ideal.

* Very, very long-term readers might notice that I made this joke once before, around 2012 or so, to which I can only reply ‘Have you ever considered getting a life?’**

** My own is largely unused, if anyone wants it.

The ecstacy and the agony

And then level 8 again. And quite a lot more. It stops being surprising after a while, but she still has fun.

Which, in a sense, it is.

No pressure.

They don’t have many repeat clients, I understand.

“I’m OK, you’re a piece of shit?” “Men are from Mars, women are to be obeyed in all things?”