marriage – Contemplating the divine

Good boys always follow

As Ms Harry said, and I don’t think there’s any arguing with that.

I’m just relieved that the pins all the bridesmaids were issued with are for symbolic purposes. I’d imagined… well, it doesn’t matter, does it?

Males have difficulty sometimes in following through the logical consequences of their own statements. It’s not really their fault, they’re just morons.

Her company takes bullying very seriously. So does she.

Part of the reason the Kerbside Sexist Service is so popular, of course, is the generous rebates of up to 1000% on the subscription fee, paid by the sexists themselves. It makes ‘peace of mind’ very affordable.

Yeah, weird that. Mine are mostly for locksmiths, for reasons I’ve never understood, but at least that’s not something my SO could find objectionable, I suppose.

How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’

I think Martin Luther said that. He rarely features in online femdom porn: odd because I’m pretty sure I read somewhere he subsisted on a diet of worms, which sounds pretty hardcore. Like many subs, I am much more into Catholic guilt anyway.

On we go.

‘Several’. OK. That’s better than ‘a few’. And ‘a few’ can be quite a lot, as I discovered when my SO decided to give me a few strokes of the cane the other day.

Yeah, but you don’t get that personal touch of being contemptuously ignored.

Ah – a religiously-themed caption, to actually fit with the title of today’s post. Except it doesn’t. Content is usually unrelated, as I imagine you’ve worked out by now. Anyway, she seems to take her duties very seriously, even finding joy in them, so good for her.

The pain she’s currently got planned for him is necessary, but not sufficient. Not sufficient for her, anyway.

And another religious-themed caption. Any caption featuring the divine Anya is necessarily religious-themed.

Indisputable truths

Don’t worry, you’re not doing too badly. The most important thing is to take her orders. Adverbs like ‘literally’, ‘immediately’, ‘subserviently’, ‘unquestioningly’ are important but next-level.

Men in strict chastity see many more sexy women on the streets… simple fact. It’s best to treat it as a bonus of the regime.

Another bonus: no need to worry about self-control when someone else is doing the controlling.

She’ll give you her hand in marriage and you’ll take it.

The first time I defied my SO’s orders, soon after we married, I was worried she’d be upset but in fact she enjoyed herself immensely over the next four or five hours.

She’s just read him a lovely bed-time story called “Spunk on my face!”

And apropos nothing very much, here’s a nice little bit of found femdom, which corresponds closely to a scenario I’ve featured once or twice here.

Lowly thoughts

It’s no one’s fault but your own, you know. Well… I expect they’ll blame 216 for it, too.

Many brides get nervous, before their wedding nights, especially when, like her, they’re not very experienced with men. But really it’s the groom who should be scared.

They have an office policy on sexual discrimination and harassment: it’s quite detailed.

Just wait it out… are you master in your own house or not? Anyway, she’ll probably do the ‘half”…’a quarter’ thing.

Benevolent brutality

She’ll work around it. A relationship is founded on how the partners feel about one another; things like whips and canes and tawses are just the physical expressions of that.

He’s not actually naturally balding; she just prefers him that way as she says it tickles less when she’s watching TV.

Wow – sounds like you might have an important assignment on your very first day!

He doesn’t need to check his privilege because she’s checking it thoroughly on his behalf.

Classic Cruella, of course, featuring the stunning Lady Sonia and the lovely Lynda Leigh. And some bloke, probably with an ugly moustache, but who cares, eh?

You might as well blame yourself. After all, *she*‘s going to be blaming you and it’s not as if anyone else cares.

I think we know what’ll happen to Rob if he doesn’t make more of an effort. Rob doesn’t, but he’s more brawn than brains.

Nasty and inaccurate prophecies

After a while, though, most wives get a little bored with vanilla apologies and want to spice things up with ever more elaborate contrition scenarios. Still, it’s usually best to humour them, in my worthless opinion.

Remember: serious findommes will always work within a carefully-negotiated framework of consent, so it’s probably more fun to play with the frivolous ones who’ll just drain your finances without a second thought and gleefully leave you penniless and lovesick in the gutter with your life in ruins.

It’s certainly true that it’s less painful for your back than other things she can do – and probably will, when she returns home.

She’s started a collection. It’s good to have a hobby.

You might worry that they’d get into trouble with animal protection groups, but they checked with PETA and all the rest, and apparently they were fine with it, once the whole concept had been properly explained.

He’s often mistaken about things. Just the other day, he told her he really needed an orgasm, but it turned out he didn’t, not really, just as she’d predicted.

There’s nothing here that is real

..but I think we’ve long ago established that, no? Anyway, it’s just yet more 1980s pop, this time from Mistress Tracy (Tracy). Distressingly SFW, like so much in life.

She’s very embarassed, poor thing – but even the most experienced professionals can have an off day.

Fortunately, the experience is very memorable.

He’s hoping eventually she’ll come round. Women find that kind of persistence very romantic.

I don’t want anyone reading this to think I believe boys shouldn’t study science and stuff like that. They’ll be no good at it, but it can be enlightening for their female classmates to watch them being beaten as they fail repeatedly.

If you feel like arguing, maybe it’s time to start practising some of those all-important speech protocols, hmm?

Historical females

Once again, it’s time to look back on the more elegant femdom of times past. One of this blog’s earliest and least-popular series, continued here out of sheer stubbornness and an almost total lack of self-awareness: Jane Austen femdom. With a few anachronistic wobbles of a hundred years or so in either direction from the divine Jane’s own period.

Even in the prudish Victorian era*, brides-to-be were often passed practical guides to the secrets of married life, by their mothers or other older women. The good Baron’s was one of the most popular.

You’d think he’d be better at recognising birch by now. Oh well.

I do think the husband of the more experienced lady depicted here was most unlucky, after having spent years at one of the most selective boarding schools, to emerge without a taste either for being buggered or viciously flogged. He found adjustment to married life very trying, poor fellow.

Justice must be done, seen to be done and then later recalled in the Queen’s bedchamber.

The depressing thing is, he always remained hopeless at Latin grammar, despite the strenous efforts of a succession of governesses over many years.

As it turned out, the quality of her mercy came to be much appreciated by her subjects, not least because it was so rarely exercised. It’s good to be the Queen.

* Yes, I know Jane Austen was pre-Victorian. Do pay attention: as the paragraph at the start noted, the actual time period featured here varies. All posts set before 1910 or so** are labelled as ‘Jane Austen‘ (indeed, many are introduced as featuring ‘Hot chicks in empire-line dresses’ even when the hot chicks featured are in fact attired in the fashion of an entirely different era).

** Posts after 1910 (and before about 1960) being labelled ‘Downton Domination‘. But you knew that, right?

Thirty years of hurt (but this time with Lionesses)

So, after all these years of being told that football’s just a silly game in which a bunch of moronic boys chase a ball around in a field and surely I’m not asking to be allowed to put the ironing off just to watch that nonsense, apparently it’s a remarkable display of female skill, grace and power. Who knew? Well, my SO did, obviously, and now I do because she’s told me and that’s that.

Personally I’m not so much interested in the football itself as ~~in the players’ muddy boots and sweaty sock~~s in the fact that we are now officially all allowed to cheer ourselves silly(er) for a team called ‘The Lionesses’. That I do like, rather a lot.