performance management – Contemplating the divine

Savage elegance

… and elegant savagery too. Both are good.

She’s being remarkably patient with you, but patience has its limits you know.

I’m not sure it’s entirely sensible to assign such an important task to someone who is obviously completely unqualified and inexperienced. Those plants need just the right amount of water: too much and they drown, too little and they dry out.

He’ll have plenty of opportunity to think about it, which is just as well, given he is male.

Poor Treasure… I’m sure she is wracked with paroxysms of guilt. Maybe she needs a kiss and a cuddle, hmm?

Girl talk… good thing the guys have got more important things to be getting on with, than sitting around listening to her prattle on.

Praise where it’s due

Actually, in context that word made perfect sense. Just like the words “worm”, “pervert” and “weirdo” in the various contexts she used them in your last performance review.

Good practice for tomorrow. Sven’s a bit larger – and I imagine his brothers are similar.

Lucy doesn’t mind. She’s nice like that.

Easier just to run the sessions in parallel, you might think. And if anyone paid the slightest attention to what you thought, maybe you’d be right, but they don’t so you’re not.

Then later on, you can clean up the sticky messes upstairs too. Probably won’t taste as nice, so make the most of this bit.

Slavish allegiance

Well, I’m… I mean they’re shoes, it’s no big… erm. Oh all right then.

Her client minds. But no one cares what he thinks.

Sounds complicated… I’ve forgotten the rules already. Good thing she’s got a whip.

A lot of men are a bit resistant to having an implant, but I’ve never heard a man who had it complain, so maybe the best thing is just give it a go?

Jeremy doesn’t complain, either. Obviously a very happy marriage.

Superior judgement

She didn’t ask what Tony thought of it, of course. He’d have just the same opinion as Jane, anyway.

Don’t worry, if you haven’t brought one she’s probably got something you’ll be able to use to become really sorry.

They had to lift the ban on cruel and unusual punishments, of course.

They seem very nice, don’t they?

Behind the scenes, the Avengers movies are a lot more femdom than they seem. I’ll just mention that Iron Man is not the only one who wears a rigid metal shell, and leave it at that, I think.

Negative feedback

It’s the only sort I get.

Interestingly, adult babies and other submissive employees are explicitly excluded from the provisions of the staff handbook relating to discrimination, bullying and abuse.

It also means she has two boxes of chocolates to throw away instead of one.

The rest of the room is decorated in the same style.

Many men would pay a lot of money for that sort of experience. Not all their money, as he will, admittedly. But a lot.

Phew. I was beginning to think I was going to have to get through this alone. Talking about how sexually frustrated I feel, with a bunch of other men, is going to help a lot.

Doing it Her way

He doesn’t look very brave.

Actually, men in relationships always hate it when their partners throw out their stuff. I remember the day my SO sent all my clothes to the charity shop. I cried for days at the time but She told me I’d thank Her for it eventually, and so of course I did.

Hmm. I wonder if I should ask him to pay some of the cost… this wasn’t cheap and he got all the fun.

He’s lucky. I have to fill a whole page with silver or gold stars to earn any kind of reward.

Yes, best to keep it vanilla at first. And then you can move on to more adventurous play when you get to know each other a little better.

Dancing to Her tune

It’s definitely syrup, so don’t worry about that, OK?

I mean it’s no wonder she prefers spending time just with Howard if you’re all gloomy, is it?

I dunno. She orders me around, ignores my wishes, feeds my genitals to the cat… Sometimes I wonder why I put up with it all.

See? And you were worried you might not be having any sex on your honeymoon!

Domino specialists are odd. To visit one, you need to book in advance, phone that same morning before 10am to confirm (and receive instructions on meeting up, the first time) then take your course fees along in an unsealed envelope. I always take a little gift, too. Not dominoes – I expect they get enough of those.

Controlling personality syndrome

It’s not a ‘disorder’, thank goodness.

It’s a remarkable experience, actually wanting your penis to be smaller all of a sudden.

Should be a lot of fun.

It’s kind of her to help him like that. Spreader gags can be so impersonal.

My pleasure.

Cometh the hour cometh the thithy

Compliance training

He’ll do OK on personal appearance too. He looks like a cringing, terrified little worm, which is exactly how she likes it.

Don’t you just hate it when the dates of your personal appraisals at home and at work coincide?

Don’t worry, the HR people will deal with this sensitive matter appropriately, too. Perhaps you ought to drop round, thank them for resolving the matter so speedily? They’re the unsung heroines of the workplace, in my view.

Chemical castration – some say it’s a valid alternative to physical castration, but I say why not try both?

Don’t worry – I don’t mean actual ‘bears’! No bestiality in this blog, thank you very much! No, the caption is suggesting a scene in which this lady is renting out her – husband, boyfriend, stepfather, slave? – to anyone who calls and on this occasion it’s going to be a group of big, hypermasculine male hairy biker types. He is presumptively heterosexual by inclination, so the implication is that she is lying, exhibiting gratuitous cruelty to her insignificant other. OK? There – now you can enjoy the caption. Anyone confused by any of the captions in this blog is recommended to read the template post, available here.

Pitiful, really

…but it’s all I’ve got.

I once dated a girl who said she wanted me to be a stallion in the bedroom. So I got all kitted up, you know in reins and harness, and when she came into the room I handed her spurs and the riding whip and she just screamed, slapped me round the face and left. How humiliating. Happy days…

Former boyfriends… bane of my life.

The first time a domme gave me a golden shower and ordered me to lick it up, She asked me what the taste was like. I replied ‘tart’ and things got very painful, very quickly. (Non-British readers won’t get that: don’t worry about it, move on).

I took a personality test once and scored a perfect zero.

She’s lying because she knows I like the contempt. Really, she has to keep swigging at that bottle to take her mind off the hot action in front of her. Otherwise she’d be overpowered with lust, at the sight of an overweight middle-aged sub, desperately jerking away on the floor by her boots. Women just can’t resist that kind of thing.