Eighteen not thirty-four

No, nothing to do with the ages of the ladies featured, pervert. Like so much of this blog’s obsession, it’s all about the rules. Rule 34 of the Internet says ‘If it exists, there’s porn of it’ while Servitor’s Rule 18, says: “Try to avoid sessions with clients who have really specific fetishes and can’t get off unless it is exactly right.” That’s what today’s post is. Unlike some Rule 18 images, these ones have captions by the lovely ladies involved who have not taken Servitor’s advice (very wisely, on this as on everything else).

Doing femdom right

As an experienced femdom blogger, I get a lot of questions about how to do femdom right, because it’s so important not to do it wrong. Naturally, I have picked up a few things over the years (antibiotics can help, I find) and so I have occasionally published a few humble words of advice – to subs and, to my slappable shame, dommes.

Among the latter, one piece of advice stands out proudly, at an angle of almost 70 degrees to the vertical, swaying slightly and with a glistening thread of pre-cum dangling from its tip. I refer, of course, to Servitor’s Rule 18, which reads:

“Try to avoid sessions with clients who have really specific fetishes and can’t get off unless it is exactly right.”

The Internet continues to ignore my advice on this (as it does on many things, to be honest, such as whom to elect as President of the United States, the difference between the words ‘alternate’ and ‘alternative’ and the savings to be had from taking an annual subscription to Armpit Fetishist Monthly rather than buying each edition separately*) so here are some more examples of Rule 18 violations I have noticed, a few of them captioned.

It’s remarkable how quickly most dommes will terminate the email exchange if you simply ask “Can you provide your own falcon, or shall I bring one?”
Just say no.
It’s quite impressive because the three of them have never actually worked together as a team before.
She’s a pro but even she’s regretting agreeing to this in January. Brrr.
If this turns you on, then Your Kink Is Not My Kink. But then, if it was, in every respect, then you’d be writing this blog instead of me, wouldn’t you, and then what would I do?
Consensual, don’t worry. Neither safe nor sane but always consensual.

* No seriously: you can get 40% off. That’s a lot of dank, pungent goodness for your money.

These women’s work

Pray God you can cope

As they say, it’s no humiliation to beg pitifully. Don’t they? I’m sure they say something like that, they say all sorts of things.
Women’s football is so exciting… just look at all those clothes getting sweaty and boots muddy. I’d be queuing up at the changing room door, hoping to be picked.
Very considerate of her, but I doubt the others really mind.
Theyu have all sorts of codewords, to keep the real activity hidden. For example, if a client requests the ‘steam pressing service’ then the victim is placed in a huge steel press and slowly crushed while being blasted with boiling hot steam. OK, maybe that particular codeword is a bit obvious, but they have others too.
Ah, another of those ‘opportunities’. Bizarrely, when I’m placed in that situation, I can rarely think of anything very coherent to say.
People assume the OWK was all torture and savage beatings and long nights shivering in a cold prison cell – and it was, obviously, but with a lot of laughter too.

Books do furnish a dungeon

Due to the unparalleled reach of this blog (other blogs may – indeed do – reach more people and indeed many of the same people, but none will be exactly parallel), book publishers tend to send me ‘flyers’ for their latest publications. I thought I might as well chuck them onto the blog, as you lot will wank to anything with pretty girls saying vaguely pervy things, and it’s a lot easier than doing anything creative.

Available in all good bookshops, but you might have to go along way to find a bookshop good enough, these days.