Category: fur coats
Emotional stupidity
In case you’re wondering why I am posting on a Thursday instead of the usual Friday, the answer is ‘rank incompetence – the idiot’s not even able to read a calendar properly, for goodness’ sake!’.
True love’s first slap
Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day, a day when humiliation freaks worldwide will rush down to the letterbox in the morning, to revel deliciously in the proof that once again, not a single one of the three billion females in the world has the slightest romantic interest in any of us.
Actually, I did once receive a Valentine card, from this girl I really fancied at school and didn’t have the courage to tell of my feelings for her, but it turned out it she had sent it to the wrong address and it was intended for someone else. Goodness, how everyone laughed and laughed when that little mix-up was revealed in class, after I got down on my knees to confess my long-standing love for her. I hope she wasn’t too humiliated by her error being exposed so publicly, poor thing.
I do have a couple of Valentine-themed captions, as it happens, but not a
full set of five, so I thought I’d… what’s that, readers? You say you don’t
give a flying fuck whether I creatively theme the blog or not? That you
just want to masturbate to images of pretty ladies saying humiliating
or vaguely menacing things, so why don’t I shut the fuck up and get on
with it?
Oh. OK then.
Wow. No time for second thoughts – let’s tie the knot! |
Selecting honesty level two would have got you “Oh… it’s all right, I suppose. A bit below average but I’ve seen worse.” |
Funny how it still feels just like that very first date you went on together. Some relationships are like that, but it’s very rare. |
Misfortunate males
Oh dear, not again. You’d think she’d have learnt to be more careful by now. |
Respect is very important in a marriage. |
Young people in love can be so romantic… let’s hope he gets out of their way quickly. |
It’s good to be the Queen
Nice of her to ask, but she really needn’t have. |
Don’t judge her, OK? Let her judge you. |
Every hour is devotional time, surely? |
Technically, it works just as well when he’s not conscious, obviously, but she finds it harder to get motivated. |
Poor things, I hope they’re not too cold. Thank goodness they have coats, anyway. |
Leading women
It’s very odd – according to my SO, I often choose courses of action that lead inevitably to my being subjected to intolerable pain. But she’s supposed to be the sadistic one! Go figure, as they say. |
Erm… whatever we’re permitted to say, I suppose? |
Several of the prisoners in the nearby underground prison tearfully begged Madame Jana not to make him do that again, saying they preferred the whip. |
And finally, any Swiss fans of the World War M series might want to note that their opportunity to serve their country in those crucial mobile laundry units has finally arrived.
Pure bliss and divine serenity
Perhaps she ought to explore ways to teach him what her orgasm sounds like. There must be opportunities, for an independently-minded lady such as her. | . |
Actually, most of the women I have ever paid to mistreat me are very kind to animals. Maybe it’s a balance thing. |
Thank badness for that. |
Hmm… let’s think. I’m not staying at a Travellodge, OK? I do have some standards. |
Imagine no possessions
It’s easy if you try – and find the right life-partner.
How do you like them apples? |
Aww… that’s rather sweet. I hope he’ll be OK after she retires next monh. |
I can’t stand those macho men who boast about the size of their chastity belts, can you? It’s not the size that matters anyway, it’s what you’re not allowed to do with it. |
….and just forRalph D:
The record shows I took the blows
And did it Her way
Yum. Has it really been a year? How time flies. |
No problem. I’ll just go and live out the remainder of my life nursing the ache at the core of my empty existence. Bye. |
Actually, if you save up enough of your pocket money, maybe you could… I mean, that would be OK, right? About four months should do it, if you’re careful not to spend money on anything else. |
Well, I think it’s outrageous. I mean, she wouldn’t wear a coat that had been made by killing and skinning a human being, would she? |
Don’t forget to say gracias. Mucho, mucho gracias, Senora
|
Baby it’s cold outside
…but not quite cold enough yet for me to be allowed to sleep in the house. Never mind. Here are some wintrish captions.
It’s a bit cruel of her, to focus so much on the depressing news of our changing climate. Look how unhappy he seems. |
Oh well. At least your day had the prospect of some meaning, for one brief moment. Back to your squalid and pointless existence. |
OWK does actually have a complaints box for its male guests, surprisingly enough. I spent six hours in it once. |