blonde – Contemplating the divine

The bonds of love

It’s easy to wait patiently when you’re chained up. Or at least, it’s not different in any sense that really matters from waiting impatiently. Still… if there’s a biscuit going, I’m not saying no!

Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time for desperately remorseful apologies – they might even let you beg for forgiveness, if they’re in a generous mood.

Cruella, of course – even the Editrix herself (yes she was, who else do you imagine wrote the editorials?), Lady Victoria, on the right there. She inspired Goddess-Lady Lucia, you know.

Arguably, offering a plausible explanation is ‘impertinence’ in and of itself, but I’ve learnt not to argue.

Fortunately, your wife has a very high tolerance for observing pain, so I doubt the safeword will be needed. Still: safe, sane and consensual, right? Any BDSM play should incorporate at least two of those.

Not a good start to a lifetime of married bliss, is it? Still, I expect you’ll improve and she expects that too.

See – and you were worried you wouldn’t be respected in this relationship! They value your expertise in menial drudgery and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Heavenly beings

If there is, I’m sure it’s a problem that won’t take her long to sort out.

You know, true connoisseurs can tell from just one sniff which mistress pissed in their wine, and what she had to eat over the last 24 hours.

Actually, he has a sneaky plan to take an emetic and vomit it out, so he’s smiling inside. It’s great, being a submissive, isn’t it? Imagine how awful it would be to have a different fetish, one for which you didn’t have to suffer.

Yes, her. But her web site seems to have last been updated in 2019, so alas…

She puts a lot of effort into it too – I hope you’ll be suitably grateful, once you’re able to speak again.

Callers can end up spending a lot of time on hold, listening to annoying music broken by an occasional recorded message assuring the caller that all their operatives are currently busy or can’t be bothered to take a call and that his call is utterly unimportant to them.

Some people say it’s cruel. Others say ‘Yeah, sure it is. And?’

Up to her

How can the shopping trip be over when your credit cards are all still below their limits?

Make sure you get a receipt. It’s not that she doesn’t trust you, but £20 is four times your weekly allowance and she doesn’t want you to have to face that kind of temptation.

Men who try reading snip-lit are often disappointed – expecting it to be full of descriptions of vicious gadgets and gore. But women are actually much more interested in the character development. Sure, she’s tied him to the bed and she’s slowly castrating him, but how is that going to make her feel?

It’s actually quite common for the woman to provide most of the love in the relationship.

Oh, and that scene you wrote where she’s standing on your back? Just be a love and make sure there’s a firm hand-hold out of camera shot, will you?

Look at that happy face. Isn’t that worth just a little pain, hmm? Of course it is. So having established that, if instead it’s a lot of pain she inflicts, we’re really only haggling about the price, not the basic principle, right?

Love not given lightly

There’s no excuse for that kind of blatant rebellion; I hope she deals firmly with it.

I always get embarassed in these situations – when you’re with someone and she starts talking to someone else and you’re kind of there, but also not really in the conversation, you know? You can try nuzzling her shoes, or something, to remind her you’re there too, but it’s still usually a bit awkward.

OWK being OWK, of course, the used wax strips covered in this animal’s fur will then be stirred into the slops for the next feeding time in the Queen’s Prison.

Pink? Pink? Well what’s wrong with pink?

She always feels it’s best to be businesslike, rather than sentimental, when breaking off a relationship.

She wants you to have an orgasm, but you’re not making it easy for her.

Who would’ve cared at all

She did say she wouldn’t do anything to embarass you – and she won’t. No need, when you’re embarassing yourself so effectively.

Seems very businesslike. But then it’s best not to personalise what is, after all, a purely impersonal business arrangement as far as she’s concerned.

If we’re honest, it doesn’t make a huge amount of difference whether he tries to be brave or not. But it’s nice of her to ask.

Lovely Mistress Mina. And lovely someone else, too.

It’s good she’s got you to help take her anger away.

Some subs find hypothetical questions like this difficult but they’re actually not as difficult as the non-hypothetical ones that have immediate practical relevance, I find.

She’s very concerned about his health, she’s even been reading up online about medical conditions that affect the elderly.

Idol thoughts

Think of what a relief it must be, not to be in any danger of suffering one of those unwanted and embarassing erections during the shoot. It just helps keep things professional, as they should be (although not ‘professional’ in the sense she’s actually paying you, obviously).

Everyone laughed at me when I bet on him, but I think I could be making a lot of money here!

My SO says gags really suit me and I can’t argue with that.

I expect you never imagined a woman like that would ever take an interest in you, did you? But she is – very – and so are all her friends.

Of course, they vary it a bit. Today he had a nice big empty bowl of cereal for breakfast, nothing soup for lunch and he has a big juicy nothingburger to look forward to for dinner.

Some men think that women who dress provocatively are just asking for it – you can easily spot them, these days, as they’re the ones walking around in t-shirts reading “Please kick me in the balls.”

Angel with the scourge

Two scourging angels, ready to inspire and if need be correct, profoundly religious thoughts.

Of course, it doesn’t need to be reserved solely for cuckold play. Plenty of uses for a pillory and it’s not like she has someone in her bed every night of the week,

Question asked, question answered. Time to move on.

Opinion among mistresses is divided as to whether it’s a good idea for sissies to have thinking time. Why spend so much time doing something they’re not good at?

Her brutality is rarely, if ever, unreasonable.

More and more women are discovering the fun that can be had with a golf club, especially in the company of a supportive man.

She builds you up just to put you down

How very inconsiderate.

Funny how often that happens. It’s as if the spinner’s drawn to that outcome.

I discovered very early on in my dating career that the secret to really satisfying a woman sexually is to make sure she never meets me.

She has a similar approach to the men in her life – she likes them hungry, but not actually starving to death, or at least not too quickly.

She likes to feel a big cock inside her, so why can’t you?

Remarkably, AFM won a Pulitzer back in 1957 but its editorial standards have slipped a little since.

Give way to oncoming women

Or “yield” as I believe the Americans would put it.

You might imagine your life would be harder if you really cut down on spending on yourself – but actually, it will be much, much harder if you don’t.

Oddly enough, the most unpleasant-tasting thing a domme has ever made me ingest in session was something that was actually intended to be food: a jar of cheese and cauliflower babyfood. No wonder babies learn to talk so quickly, if that’s what we’re feeding them.

No, no Brer Fetish Model … please don’t make me clean out your sweaty latex!

Good thing you’ve got something to do to take your mind off the humiliation of what’s going on upstairs.

Fortunately I’m largely immune to SPH as my ego is even smaller, if such a thing can be imagined.

Yes: blame yourself. She always does, so why quibble?

Owning him

When your Mistress is a perfect 10, it’s only fair that you have to be graded too.

And we don’t ‘bob’ so much as immerse and hold down.

Oh, if there is one Lady I’d love to see again, it is Lady Sophia Black. She lit our lives up like a, like a… hmm… comet? No, something brighter. Like a flamethrower, then retired too soon, too too soon.

She’s focused on what’s important in the relationship and you should be too.

That’s an interesting question – let me ask you one in return, preferably on my knees, with my paws up like a begging dog.

He has an excellent retirement plan and one day she might tell him what it is.

She also likes to play “this little piggie”, especially the bit about shrieking all the way home.