Advice to a novice sub – Part 2

Many readers of this blog ask me questions, and not all of them are of the “Why don’t you just fuck off and die, Servitor?” form, either.  I know you regard me as a kind of wise old man of femdom, and after I published a blog post last year with a few choice tips for submissives less experienced than I am in visiting professional dominant ladies, the response was overwhelming and – in a few cases – not entirely contemptuous.

So, mindful of the fact that you don’t know my real name or address, and so you can’t sue me for any consequences, here is another batch of Servitor’s tips for any subs considering a visit to a pro-domme.

Worshipful company


If it’s any consolation, she certainly does care about how well you do the chores.


There’s plenty of boys.
It’s amazing, what computers can do these days.


I asked a domme once for a session in which she would treat me with utter contempt the whole time. I waited for hours in the rain, and she didn’t turn up, even though I’d pre-paid by credit card. Do you think perhaps she misunderstood?


Don’t worry, if anyone sees you they’ll probably assume you’re a devout pilgrim doing penance as part of a religious observation. Which, in a sense, you are.

Feeling her pain

…it’s just something she likes me to do from time to time.

Strictly speaking, that’s probably against school rules.  I mean, it’s not as if the chalk’s her property, after all.


It’s up to you whether you sign of course – and feel free to take your time.  She can always do you after lunch, if you can hold out that long.  Not a problem.


Thank you.  Ahhh.


That sounds very fair.


Glad to be of service.  It’s the highlight of my month, actually.

Sometimes I get a funny pain

Please help me in my agony, dear Jane, dear Jane, dear Jane.



Actually, you only booked an hour and half. So that’s an extra half hour free!  Guess you won that one, huh?


Not at all.  As a matter of fact, I’m going to beg for it.


Ymmmnneh Mnnntrrrcch!
If you can’t choose, just take a few.  She’ll choose.  Or maybe she won’t.


I’m sure when Suzie comes, this whole silly misunderstanding will quickly be resolved.

He married a maths teacher

Now then, Colin, you’re…let’s see – five foot three in

Runty little shortass.

Aaaannd your cock is… oh dear oh dear – three inches long.

Yes it is – look.

Oh for goodness’ sake. 
All right, because the room’s a bit cold we’ll call it three and a
quarter, OK?

So – how much of you consists of cock?  Can you work it out?

Sixty three inches tall, with a cock that’s three inches
long.  Yes, all right, three and a
quarter.  Pathetic. 

So…?  Three and a
quarter goes into sixty-three how many times?

Yes., it would be easier if it were just three into
sixty-three, wouldn’t it?  But Mr Big
Swinging Quarter Inch insisted, didn’t he? 
So now he’s going to have to work a bit harder.

Nineteen and…. Nineteen and a bit, you say?  What – a little extra foreskinny bit?

OK, yes, let’s call it one in 20.

So – what proportion of you is cock?

No, not one in twenty.


Well, because you’re not one-dimensional, of course.  Except emotionally.

No, that was a joke. 
Look – even though you look like a single long stream of piss, you are
in fact a three-dimensional object, so your mass and volume go up in proportion

In proportion to…?

Sigh.  No, not
‘pi’.  In proportion to the cube of your

Your cock is one-twentieth of your length, so it constitutes
about one over twenty cubed of you. 
Which is?

One four thousandth? 
Do you need the cane?  I knew we
should have done this as a schoolboy detention game.  Try again.

Eight thousand! 
Correct!  Finally.

Now, you spend about six thousand hours each year

So – how much time each year should you spend playing with
your cock?  Hmm?  If that’s proportional to its size?

That’s right. 

Every year, you get to spend 45 minutes playing with your
cock.  Not all at once, obviously.  I was thinking maybe three fifteen-minute

No, I don’t want to discuss it, I just want you to say ‘Yes
Chloe’ and thank me.

That’s right.

Oh don’t look so depressed. 
Imagine how bad it would be if you were of normal height!

…and it wouldn’t be such fun beating you up, either.

A marriage of obedience

A problem shared… 




She’s just helping you put it in context.  Don’t forget to be grateful.


Worth it all for that one night of passion, though, huh?  Huh?


Best just to be passive and forget the aggression.

This is the lovely Gigi Allens from ClareSpanksMen and many other places.  More about her – mostly made up, but illustrated with lots of pictures – here.


Memories, memories, sweet memories

Yes, to bring in the new year, what better than to look back – with more recollections from the lovely ladies of the sadly now defunct Other World Kingdom. 

Well, completely made up stuff from the mind of servitor, anyway.  But I do have a general disclaimer over there to the right, if you care to look.  This blog does not make a fetish of realism.  Muddy boots, yes, sissy panties, certainly, but realism – not so much.

This is the second in a series of, well, two at the moment but you never know.  Here’s the first.

Ladies – over to you.





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