sexism – Contemplating the divine

Superior sex

She is it, and she also has it.

Perhaps you should discuss her salary expectations soon, as I think right now they are increasing rapidly.

She uses ‘cruelty free’ cosmetic products but I’m afraid that attitude extends only to animals. Non-human animals, I mean.

The system is open to abuse by women seeking to save money on nursing care for their elderly male relatives unfortunately. But a recent inquiry into the prevalence of false accusations of crminal sexism concluded (a) that it was not so very high and (b) that the old bastards probably deserved it anyway. So that’s all right.

Imagine putting her to so much trouble. And he calls himself submissive…

The lady visting OWK in this pastoral scene is Goddess Sophia, whose cages, canes and (most memorably) gloriously swishy rubber dress Servitor has had the honour to experience – and can thoroughly recommend to UK-based subs. She may or may not still be in business and is not the lady of the same name in Portsmouth, who I am sure is equally lovely.

I imagine Douglas knows many things they don’t… lots of secret little thoughts.

Pretty woman don’t make me cry

What’s that? Oh, I ticked ‘make me cry’ on the session negotiation form? Oh yes, so I did. Sorry, my mistake: go ahead then.

Just hand me the lipstick and stand aside, little lady. I got this.

Very public-spirited of them to help out, I say.

You might worry that if she just gets high grades without effort, she might end up with no skills and in a low-wage dead-end career. Don’t worry: she’s developing lots of skills and her future in a high-paying professional career is almost guaranteed.

What, did you think she just… I dunno… abducted guys and skinned them in her basement? You’ve been reading too much lurid fantasy. Relax, OK?

I wonder why she went too far like that? She’s supposed to be a professional.

Fiercely feminine

Take it from me as a long-serving married man, you really don’t want to discuss it. Let alone ‘discuss’ it.

Obviously.

There’s a thin line between chivalry and criminal sexism but fortunately we have women to help police that line – and run the re-education camps for anyone who teeters over it.

He’s just a bit nervous about getting married… which is silly, really, when you think about it.

Actually, the entire blog is literally nothing but a lot of fuss over a little smacked bottom. With wholly inadequate thinking time set aside for it.

Correct me if I’m wrong…

… or if I’m right, for that matter.

Another year, more of the same. Here we go.

Three and a half men, then.

Some people have complicated femdom fantasies. Others just have simple femdom realities.

Here – have you heard this one? Why did the blonde in charge of the Sexist Detention Centre press the red button in her office? To give all the inmates a series of agonising electric shocks! OK, you might not think it funny but, believe me, she does.

She’s not really a believer in unisex fashion, you see.

Don’t get her wrong – she’s prepared to accept there’s plenty of room for improvement in the relationship. Just not in anything she does.

Impertinent features

The clever bit of the trick isn’t how she stubs the cigarette out, it’s how she has persuaded you to accept it – and even pay for the privilege.

The lovely Miss Zoe, who once gave me an unforgettable cuddle after a particularly hard spanking.

Gal wouldn’t need to lasso me to make me tell her the truth. But she’s very welcome to do so anyway.

They say it gets easier after a year or two, so just keep going.

Ah, I’d forgotten that I’d done this one, when discussing precisely this situation on Paltego’s blog.

Women will only be truly free when every male is enslaved. It’s sad that it has to be that way but… oh, hang on, it’s not sad at all, is it?

And now for something largely similar

Right… ten more years then. The terrible teens begin here. How terrible can they be? Let’s find out, shall we?

He should be thankful. Not for anything in particular – just generally, all the time.

Regrettably, he won’t be perfect for long. She breaks things.

It is a good one. Here’s another: what do you do if you see a blonde undressing, through an open window? Eight years hard labour! Do you get it? Maybe one day you will.

Look at the lovely lady on the right, there. Rightly proud of her work.

‘Something plausibly similar to male genitalia’ is the best some of us can hope for.

Looks like all those caning fantasies are going to come true.

Bad Pookie. Just imagine being close to thinking about disobeying her like that! On second thoughts, don’t imagine it… she wouldn’t approve.

If there was anything she could do to make you feel better, she’d do it – you know that, right?

Anyway, maybe some of the other patrons would like to skip the queue too.

Ooh – the tips of her shoes look just like the inside of my chastity belt! Maybe we could strike up a conversation, now I know we’ve something in common.

And, of course:

Written submissions

There’s actually a funny story to how I came by that nickname. Just ask anyone.

Lots of men find it hard to navigate the unwriten rules of modern office etiquette, which is why it can be so useful to receive feedback that is frank, immediate and eye-wateringly painful when the inevitable occasional slip-ups occur.

Another word Auntie Kate can teach you is ‘sadist’ but that’s for another day.

For the grand finale they invite members of the audience to step up and join them.

Myself, I’m not too choosy about clothing – I just wear whatever happens to be locked onto me that morning, you know?

Ladies First

It is. We so easily lose sight of what’s really important in this world.

Ah… the Police. They never do anything, do they? You know, a few weeks ago I filed a detailed report about how I had been kidnapped by five young blonde lesbians and they put a collar and chain on me, then dressed me in a frilly maid’s dress and made me lick their boots clean, while they kissed and cuddled each other wearing various latex and leather outfits – and do you know what? The Police said they thought I’d made it all up!

No rush. You’re not going anywhere.

Many men who’ve been on the course say it was a life-changing, eye-opening experience. They’re all very, very grateful.

Not too much, mind. Don’t want to make it too easy.

The shape of things to come

Nice things or nasty things? I suppose it depends what you’re into.

The wrongs of man

Power drill play… not for everyone, obviously. Just for you.

Despite the harsh look of the place, it’s actually more an institution for rehabilitation and education, rather than punishment as such. Of course, it all hurts, but there’s a purpose to it, that’s all I’m saying.

I don’t see why funerals have to be sad. I want my own funeral to be a joyous occasion, and when I told my SO that, She laughed and said it almost certainly would be.

See – and you were complaining about her fucking other men! All square now, right?

More fun than a trireme: you get to jog along the road in the fresh air.