… but don’t worry: they are mostly doing it for sport. After hooking you and letting you wriggle and gasp for a while, they’ll usually just unhook you and throw you right back where you were.
New series! Brutal, unpleasant and – so far at least – with very longwinded captions. But if you’re into the idea of running naked at the limits of your endurance, desperately gulping lungfuls of air as you flee in terror for your life, pursued by whip-wielding jodhpur-clad ladies on horseback intent on your mutilation and painful death (and let’s face it, all of that adds up to a very attractive image), you might like these).
More mundanely, I understand commenting here has become harder the last few weeks. That’s not something I want to happen, so I have tried tweaking the anti-spam settings a bit. I found out for example that it was considering all comments containing the word ‘penis’ to be spam. I’ve deleted that but ‘penis enlargement’ continues to feature on the list, as that is not something this blog supports – quite the opposite, if anything. I’ll keep a better eye on this – apologies if you felt the urge to comment recently and were discouraged.
She is it, and she also has it.
|Perhaps you should discuss her salary expectations soon, as I think right now they are increasing rapidly.
|She uses ‘cruelty free’ cosmetic products but I’m afraid that attitude extends only to animals. Non-human animals, I mean.
|Imagine putting her to so much trouble. And he calls himself submissive…
What’s that? Oh, I ticked ‘make me cry’ on the session negotiation form? Oh yes, so I did. Sorry, my mistake: go ahead then.
|Just hand me the lipstick and stand aside, little lady. I got this.
|Very public-spirited of them to help out, I say.
|What, did you think she just… I dunno… abducted guys and skinned them in her basement? You’ve been reading too much lurid fantasy. Relax, OK?
|I wonder why she went too far like that? She’s supposed to be a professional.
|Take it from me as a long-serving married man, you really don’t want to discuss it. Let alone ‘discuss’ it.
|There’s a thin line between chivalry and criminal sexism but fortunately we have women to help police that line – and run the re-education camps for anyone who teeters over it.
|He’s just a bit nervous about getting married… which is silly, really, when you think about it.
|Actually, the entire blog is literally nothing but a lot of fuss over a little smacked bottom. With wholly inadequate thinking time set aside for it.
… or if I’m right, for that matter.
Another year, more of the same. Here we go.
|Three and a half men, then.
|Some people have complicated femdom fantasies. Others just have simple femdom realities.
|Here – have you heard this one? Why did the blonde in charge of the Sexist Detention Centre press the red button in her office? To give all the inmates a series of agonising electric shocks! OK, you might not think it funny but, believe me, she does.
|She’s not really a believer in unisex fashion, you see.
|Don’t get her wrong – she’s prepared to accept there’s plenty of room for improvement in the relationship. Just not in anything she does.
|The clever bit of the trick isn’t how she stubs the cigarette out, it’s how she has persuaded you to accept it – and even pay for the privilege.
The lovely Miss Zoe, who once gave me an unforgettable cuddle after a particularly hard spanking.
|Gal wouldn’t need to lasso me to make me tell her the truth. But she’s very welcome to do so anyway.
|They say it gets easier after a year or two, so just keep going.
|Ah, I’d forgotten that I’d done this one, when discussing precisely this situation on Paltego’s blog.
|Women will only be truly free when every male is enslaved. It’s sad that it has to be that way but… oh, hang on, it’s not sad at all, is it?
Right… ten more years then. The terrible teens begin here. How terrible can they be? Let’s find out, shall we?
|He should be thankful. Not for anything in particular – just generally, all the time.
|Regrettably, he won’t be perfect for long. She breaks things.
|It is a good one. Here’s another: what do you do if you see a blonde undressing, through an open window? Eight years hard labour! Do you get it? Maybe one day you will.
|Look at the lovely lady on the right, there. Rightly proud of her work.
|‘Something plausibly similar to male genitalia’ is the best some of us can hope for.
|Looks like all those caning fantasies are going to come true.
|Bad Pookie. Just imagine being close to thinking about disobeying her like that! On second thoughts, don’t imagine it… she wouldn’t approve.
|If there was anything she could do to make you feel better, she’d do it – you know that, right?
|Anyway, maybe some of the other patrons would like to skip the queue too.
|Ooh – the tips of her shoes look just like the inside of my chastity belt! Maybe we could strike up a conversation, now I know we’ve something in common.
And, of course:
|There’s actually a funny story to how I came by that nickname. Just ask anyone.
|Lots of men find it hard to navigate the unwriten rules of modern office etiquette, which is why it can be so useful to receive feedback that is frank, immediate and eye-wateringly painful when the inevitable occasional slip-ups occur.
|Another word Auntie Kate can teach you is ‘sadist’ but that’s for another day.
|For the grand finale they invite members of the audience to step up and join them.
|Myself, I’m not too choosy about clothing – I just wear whatever happens to be locked onto me that morning, you know?