worst fuck ever – Contemplating the divine

Love conquers all

So it’s best to offer unconditional surrender.

He needn’t worry that his session tribute will, increase, though: instead she has a completely different financial model she intends to apply.

My SO told me on our wedding night that our intercourse had lasted almost exactly 45 seconds too long for her to enjoy it – which I thought odd, as it had only lasted 45 seconds in total. Just the first of many misunderstandings, but we’ve come to understand one another very well now.

They won’t be fresh of course… in fact, by then they’ll probably be rank and fetid. Yum. I hope she’ll warm them up, though. Nothing worse than cold sweaty socks.

I’m sure if she could bend the rules on this occasion, she would. But she doesn’t make the… oh, hang on.

And afterwards it’s easy enough to keep you tight by just moving up one strap-on size each time. It’s surprising – and a bit uncomfortable – how big they go. But Anya has strong pelvic muscles, as she says, so that’s OK.

Sustained abjection

Thank goodness for that. Well… thank Mistress Magda, anyway.

Tom’s looking forward to their feedback.

Or a card game. ‘Pairs’ springs to mind, for instance.

It’s good when people feel they can share about their private life with co-workers.

Don’t worry – he’s not as bad at it. Just bad.

Leading ladies

Oh, it would be just awful lying across that skirt having your backside whacked repeatedly with a heavy wooden hairbrush, don’t you think? Awful. No, no, please don’t do that.

Well at least she’s giving you a choice.

Oddly enough, it’s quite common to experience a powerful orgasm at the actual moment of castration. Usually the surgeon just needs to take a moment to get her breath back and then finish the operation, though.

I see a happy ever after on the horizon.

You know, I write a lot here about being told I was ‘the worst fuck ever’ on dates, but actually it’s only happened to me once.

Fantastic terrors never felt before

She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Worst fudge ever? Of course, I’d want to stay out of Devon.

I think it’s sad, to see magnificent beasts penned up in dark underground enclosures, like that. They should be free to roam the snow-covered fields.

Mistress Courtney and, erm… another goddess and two maggots, there.

It’s a good point, actually: I do like paella. So, I suppose I have to be whipped. Damn – I hate it when she uses logic on me!

There are other extras. Not as many as there were, but there’s an endless supply waiting patiently outside the studio door.

Dark-hearted commentary

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. And so do hunger, cold, discomfort and terror.

It’s actually the sign of a really considerate, thoughful guy not to protest when his date decides to fuck someone else whose more attractive. Sweet guys like that are the ones that the really hot girls all want to settle down with, eventually. I’m told.

They taste much the same. Don’t wriggle quite as much while you’re waiting for permission to chew, that’s the only real difference, I find.

He has ambitions to be a Junior Housemaid’s assistant, but I suspect that’s beyond his reach. Still, one can dream.


If it’s sunny, he’d better wear a hat. Fortunately he has lots of hats: it’s almost the only kind of present he ever gets.* Everyone seems to think it’s such an original gift idea… it would be heartless to tell them – and despite everything, he’s not a bitter man.

* Thank you Iain M Banks, Use of Weapons.

Repent at leisure

My repentence, her leisure.

I often suffer from pain during my SO’s sexual activity. Usually in the same room, but not always. Her reaching orgasm sometimes brings relief from the pain – temporarily at any rate – I’m glad to say.

Visiting a domme can be a very spiritual experience.

Oh well. No real harm done

The lovely Divine Mistress Heather, who in real life I am sure always makes sure her slaves get exactly the voltage they need: neither more nor (most certainly) less.

See? She’s not a vicious, unfeeling sadist at all. She’s a considerate, empathetic sadist. They’re the worst.

The one on the back’s quite long. I was told it describes in detail the ways I am blessed.

Sexual veneration

I have quite a few tattoos – my SO says it gives her a feeling of ownership. Mostly shopping lists or phone numbers.

Still, she’s wearing a proper medical outfit, so you know you’re safe in professional hands.

Poor Andy. Bet he felt humiliated!

I’m quite good at scrabble. I’m rubbish at blow jobs, though… everyone says so.

Looks like someone has forgotten the virtues of kindness! Honestly, saying such hurtful about Felicity; it’s hardly in the spirit of charity and forgiveness that the Order prescribes, is it?