Perfectly unreasonable

Lots of men experience sudden, irrational fears the night before their wedding. Or rational fears, sometimes, too.
Feelings of inferiority are her therapeutic speciality.
Oh, poor thing. Maybe she should drive off to find a chemists’ shop to buy some antihistamine – it’s best to deal with these things early, before the bites become inflamed.
I’ve tried paying for the ‘realistic girlfriend experience’ a few times, but it’s really a waste of money. They often don’t turn up and even if they do, we usually go to a bar or something where they get off with someone else and leave without me.
‘Cos she’s her laaaydeee… and you’re their male.
Erm… that spanking went without a hitch…no. This painting’s a bit kitsch… Oh dear.

Unselfish cruelty

Oh, OK. I’d previously always been told it was barely noticeable.
I dream an impossible dream about unfair maidens.
Oh dear. The poor thing. There is actually one little untruth in the account above – despite being so much younger than her poor dead husband, she’s actually more sexually experienced than him, as it happens. But I don’t think those kinds of prurient detail need to come out in court, do you? She’s suffered enough.
Lots of things are handwash-only, these days. For others, I’m allowed to use my mouth too.
I once tried sewing some pads into the base of some shorts I often wear around the house. Of course my SO discovered the ruse… and she was very unhappy about it. As she explained, it not only diminished the efefctiveness of any disciplinary measures she saw fit to impose, it also demonstrated ungratitude for all the efforts she makes. She was quite upset – and after she’d explained the point at length, I really felt her pain and I felt bad about it for a long time afterwards too. Don’t do it, guys.
I guess he got the good genes. And now he’ll have the chance to put some of them inside her.

Oh, and as you’re still here, a couple of links. Not ‘found femdom’ exactly (I think of that as being things in mainstream culture that hit our weirdly-situated buttons), as these are both from professional dominatrices but both are very lovely things that caught my eye.

First, the rather wonderful Domina M has taken to posting free videos on her web site. For the avoidance of doubt, the ‘rather’ in that sentence should be read as British delberate understatement to mean ‘absolutely, fantastically, brilliantly’ wonderful. All the videos are great. Rather cleverly (if I understand correctly), the latest one can be accessed directly, the full set need registration of an email address but are free.

More briefly, I thought this was delightful, reminiscent of course of that Orwell quote: “If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.” But more fun than a 1940s vision of a Stalinist totalitarian Britain.

The more cruelly she treats him

“…and the more faithless she is, the worse she uses him, the more wantonly she plays with him, the less pity she shows him, by so much the more will she increase his desire, be loved, worshipped by him.” The Founder himself said that, in Venus in Furs. He was right, although I don’t suppose Wanda thought any more of him as a result.

She’s trying her best to make this chastity regime work but you at least have to meet her halfway.
Good thing he warned her, or this could turn out to be a lot more painful than he’d expected.
He may be dying a virgin but he can be happy that he’s provided a woman with sexual fulfillment, even if only in his agonised dying moments. So there’s that.
If you think an affectionate little peck on her shoe is embarassing in public, try being slapped in public. Just not doing the kiss should be enough to bring it on.
I’m one of those people who can’t be hypnotised. Some say it’s a willpower thing, but as a sub it’s hard for me to believe that. A few people are just immune and that’s that. Back when I was a smoker, my girlfriend at the time persuaded me to go to a hypnotherapist she knew and the smoking craving was just as strong after the session as before. As it happens I did give up smoking soon after, but that was because I couldn’t really afford it, because I suddenly realised, that very evening, that I wanted to start handing over 75% of my income to my girlfriend. So it was just coincidence that it was right after the session with the hypnotist. It was difficult, but I managed to give up the cigarettes, entirely on my own, even though I decided I should be buying a pack daily for her new boyfriend, soon after. Maybe it is willpower, after all.
Pro tip: arguing that you weren’t, in this situation, is a losing proposition.

There is no hunting like the hunting of man

Ernest Hemingway said that and despite his being rather reprehensibly ‘a man’s man’, I think he may have been right.

Yes, it’s more accounts from the dark days of World War M.

And from the days before the darkest days, some glimmers of illumination into how it all started (apart from the more fundamental cause of men just being too annoying for too long, obviously). World War M: Origins.

Fishers of men

… but don’t worry: they are mostly doing it for sport. After hooking you and letting you wriggle and gasp for a while, they’ll usually just unhook you and throw you right back where you were.

This lady’s not planning to go fishing. She’s already caught enough for her immediate needs.
Actually, that’s not quite correct. The relationship is working for Trevor… and will do, right up to the end.
He’s looking forward to a harmonious married life, in which the housework is done with a perky smile, there’s no nonsense about taking financial decisions together and every comfort and care of the Head of Household is attended to. So’s she.
Fortunately, if she does decide to sell them anyway, even in their distressingly clean state, online purchasers of used panties rarely if ever complain to Trading Standards authorities.
You can actually communicate even quite complex concepts eventually in ‘bimbo’ speech mode, but you might have to suck a lot of cock on the way.
That’s actually something you have to ask for specifically, at the OWK. But he shouldn’t hold back. Most of the Ladies will be perfectly happy to deal with any guest who wants to have sex with them and some of them might even invite other Ladies to join in the fun.

A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me

I think Abraham Lincoln said that. Which just goes to show that even the smartest guys can be really, really dumb when it comes to the unfairer sex, but there you go.

And here we go. Not an Abraham Lincoln-themed day, startlingly enough.

Men are stronger than women but chains are stronger than wrists – and steel or even plastic is stronger than a cock, so it’s all right.
Don’t blame her for being so clingy – or for the concern about your untimely death. When you think of what happened to her first two husbands, it’s hardly surprising, is it? The poor thing.
She takes a holistic approach to cleaning. It’s not just about cleaning the apartment; it’s also about cleaning up your lifeand tidying up your attitudes (and cleaning out your mouth too, if need be).
Don’t worry, it’s just a job to her. She leaves it behind every day, when she walks out of the Retributution Room and washes the blood off her rubber apron and lets the screams fade behind her. Oh – and she likes rom-coms. That’s OK with you, yeah? For some guys it’s a no-no.
Looks like another quiet evening in, then.
Much better to be the only slave in their cottage than to be one of any number of interchangeable males at the back and call of some city woman. Think of all the attention you’ll get! Plus all that healthy country air.

A feminine touch

Well… doesn’t hurt to ask, does it?
Arguably it should be your father-in-law’s job, but apparently now he’s getting on a bit, his wife’s decided she wants to make sure that every moment of his remaining time with her is spent restrained and in agony, so they could use the help.
Don’t worry, I’m sure the shop assistant will be very understanding. In my experience, they understand perfectly.
He’s certainly getting his money’s worth.
The lovely Mistress Sidonia, of course. An inspiration to everyone who has to do their femdom on a budget: she must have one of the best-equipped facilities in the world but she still knows the value of a wire coat-hanger in really hard-core femdom play.
It’s silly to be squeamsih about a little thing like murdering a male, but some girls are like that.

Service tension

Especially if it limits her ability to spend your own money how she likes.
Consequences again – and quite right too. How could you have been so thoughtless, you monster?
Don’t worry, I hear they’re developing a kind of slow-release capsule so you won’t need a new dose every day.
Some might question why such a wise, benevolent and just ruler even needs ‘palace dungeons’ – and a few people did, near the start of her reign, but they seem to have gone away now.
They operate a walk-in, crawl-out service.
What a relief it must be to her, to hear his voice – and she must be especially pleased he phoned her first, not the police. That shows real trust and devotion.

If that’s what she wants

‘Terrified’ is good. They like terrified.
She didn’t know he had a phobia about spiders, before this. Now she does.
My SO was very sexually adventurous on our wedding night. So I’m told, anyway.
Nothing’s quite so humiliating as someone deciding that the humiliating thing to make you do is your actual job. It’s like when I paid a domme to dress me in a humliating manner and she laughed and asked me just to put my regular clothes back on. Maybe she misunderstood, I dunno.
Speaking of humiliating outfits.. aren’t you glad you get to wear a dress, when the boys are round, instead of having to walk around in lingerie like she does?
‘So…’ ? So what? Oh well, I expect she’ll explain it to him after the session. Just… don’t try this at home, OK? Dommes who are inexperienced at really severe breathplay should make sure the first few times they try it they’re in, like, a totally different city from their hometown and be sure not to leave any physical evidence.

Thrashing out an agreement

Many people think that any deals thrashed out in the context of a long-term femdom relationship will inherently be unfair to the male, but it’s just not true. Every time my SO and I have come to an agreement about something, the deal has always involved my getting something I value: an imminent prospect of the cessation of pain, for example. That’s usually a lot more important to me than whatever it is I have to give up in exchange. So it’s a win-win, really.

It has to make both of them laugh, mind. It would be easy enough just to set Mistress Eleise off, as she loves a good ‘dumb blonde’ joke and will burst out in fits of giggles if she hears a new one. Try it if (as I have been) you are ever privileged enough to session with her – it can lighten the mood, especially if you have requested a heavy session. The ‘dumber’ the blonde character the better, take it from me: your experience will be memorable.

The wonderful, magnificient Eleise de Lacy, of course, and the delightful Miss Woods who has not had to suffer the unpleasantness of Servitor’s proximity.

Love, honour and obey as long as you both shall live.
I’m told a good way to teach males to curtsey deeply is to suspend a heavy weight on a short chain from their testicles. Ducking far enough down relieves the pain, briefly, you see. Another good way is to inflict unbearable pain on them until they get it right. Or why not try both?
Very true. She got only four out of twenty on her last test, so I’m afraid he’s really going to have to suffer.
Underwater cunnilingus can be quite hazardous to the male health even with ladies who don’t actually get off on drowning you, unless either they can reach orgasm really quickly or the male has oxygenated very thoroughly. Proceed with caution and if in doubt: try it first with someone who really doesn’t matter.

…and an extra one with an absurdly long caption, why not:

I’m not sure Mrs Hudson is going to be too happy about that. Especially as Holmes still has 150 of his 500 punishment lines to write: “It was thoroughly disrespectful of me to frown when Mrs Hudson smashed my violin, giving us all a much-needed respite from my tuneless playing.”
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