Think of all the fun I’ve missed

Oh, you can wait, surely?  So selfish…

Males often don’t listen properly to women.  The best thing, I find, when discussing something important, is to concentrate 100% on listening, not speaking.  That way, there’s less danger of a painful misunderstanding.


I wouldn’t say ‘peaked’ exactly.  It continued to rise for a bit, then fell off a cliff, so to speak.

Christmas Special tomorrow on Contemplating the Divine!  What’s special about it?  Oh, well – the captions are all about Christmas!  Like this one, y’know… not that special, I suppose.  But then who among us is, apart from the ladies obviously?

You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot

My favourite Christmas lyrics. Of course, I hear that phrase all through the year, but it means so much more to me in this very special season.

Let me take this opportunity to wish a very merry Christmas to this blog’s handful of female readers, and I hope the rest of you have the miserable, bleak and pitiful time you all so richly deserve – and secretly crave – you revolting little creeps.

Happy Boxing Day, Paltego

Following a subtle hint in a reply to one of my comments on his wonderful Femdom Resource web site: here as a special, extra Boxing Day present for Paltego are some ‘turning point’ captions.  Of course, I’m not doing this just because Femdom Resource is a leading source of traffic for this blog.  It’s one of two leading sources, about equal with Google.  So Paltego’s blog is no more important than Google.  Hope that puts him firmly in his place.

Turning points.   Here are some more.

I hope this has worked out better than my subtle hints to my SO about what I wanted for Christmas. Oh well.  Maybe next year… or there’s my birthday.


Ho ho ho

It’s that time of the year again!  A time for family, for friendship, songs and laughter…

… and here you are looking at porn on the Internet!  Lovely.  Well, have a merry Christmas anyway.  Try not to make a stain on the floor under the computer, hmm?


It’s Christmas time, and there’s no need to be afraid

but it can spice things up a bit.

Next Christmas you can give her sole title to the house and all your finances.

And there’s New Year to look forward to after that.

I’m sure she can find a way of taking your mind off it.

I like turkey, but I hope Mike and Juan don’t give me any more of that special eggnog. It tasted weird…

Funnily enough, the year after they all gave each other little leather purses. What are the odds, eh?

Bah humbug

Twas the night before Christmas, and Servitor’s plan
To come up with a themed post had failed – stupid man.
No Santa-esque dommes, or cruel Christmas contraptions
Had he, so he just posted 12 normal captions.

Lifelong learning ensues.

Funny how the pictures featuring soft sweaters give rise to some of my
more disturbing ‘work’.  (Well, it disturbs me!  Doesn’t it disturb

Nice clean boots, hasn’t she? Someone backstage has the best job in televison, that’s for sure.

I’m not feral.  I’m very domesticated.  I don’t even try to go up onto the furniture any more.

Oh, I liked writing this one. Isn’t her expression just perfect?

Just wait until she looks in the bedroom – there’s at least another three lying around in there.  That Anna, born in a barn she was.

Big meanie.  I mean really big.  Huge.

Multitasking. I’ve heard women are better at it.

Well, yes, I suppose so.  That and the company.

… and? And what?  Bloody hell Servitor, what are you playing at?

Yeay!  Medical play with actual medicines! What’s that you’re asking? Safe, sane and consensual? Let’s just say 0 out of 3 ain’t bad. Now take your pills and shut up.

They pride themselves on maintaining a non-hierarchical environment. 
Everyone – from the Chief Executive herself down to the lowest
programmer, is equally empowered to slap the tampon boy, if he gets

Twelve months not coming

Eleven canes a-striping


Ten hours of sweeping


Nine slaps a-glancing


Eight dreams of milking


Seven hours of rimming


Six quirts a-flaying


Five spiked rings!


 Four angry words

Three gay friends


Two rubber gloves


But…no glimpse of that little golden key!

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