mud – Contemplating the divine

Discomfort women

Oh, what a shame. I was so looking forward to sitting in an overcrowded pub with a bunch of self-obsessed men, pretending to laugh at anecdotes I didn’t properly hear over the thumping music. Guess I’ll just be staying in, quietly rearranging her panty drawer. Damn.

Or several orgasms. It’s different for women, you see. In many ways. They get to come, for a start.

What, did you think they were going to bet their own money? That’s just not how this thing works.

She’s noticed there’s always extra demand for those products around the end of July: that’s the local domme’s birthday.

Oh, being blackmailed isn’t so bad. It’s when she decides to stop blackmailing you and publish the photos: that’s the really unpleasant bit.

She doesn’t really care, she’s just passing the time.

And an extra one, inspired by a letter I received this morning.

BDSM… it’s all about giving up power, as I might have to if the prices rise any more.

The hot goddess in this silly satire was of course the truly chilled Goddess Alexandra Snow.

Vive la difference!

Another post pointing out the various ways in which vanilla sex is just plain weird, as well as weirdly plain. Vanilla vs. Femdom – no contest, really, is it?

Today’s special celebrates that most elegant of female footwear (and ankle, calf and, excitingly, occasionally thighwear): the boot. As well as looking and tasting lovely, boots are highly practical and can be used for all kinds of kicking, crushing and treading underfoot. Plus, they’re so easy to get clean and the wearer can even be paid while waiting for the process to be completed to her satisfaction. Boots boots boots boots…*

Both wearing boots in this image. But she’s doing all the work… in so many ways.

She’s blended in quite well with village life: she rides a lot, takes part in the hunt and has even paid to have the quaint old stocks in ther market square repaired and brought back into use.

The delightful Princess Neive, whom I deeply regret never having had the chance to meet when she was working. There are videos of her around… listen to her lovely giggle.

More country pursuits. He provides all the gear they need as well, although some of the whips and sets of spurs are hardly suitable to be used on poor, defenseless horses.

Coincidentally, after his session, her client admitted to being the managing director of one of the largest cold-calling centres in the country. He later regretted telling her that, but she didn’t: she found it motivated her to greater creativity.

Everything my SO says to me is in the imperative, regardless of the precise grammatical form she uses.

I think dommes should tell dumb sub jokes to even the score. “Why did the sub stare for hours at the carton of orange juice?” Because his Mistress fucking told him to.

* Marching up and down again.

Occasionally I put found femdom down here. Now this isn’t found femdom. It’s just a funny little video imagining vikings with modern Scandinavian accents and attitudes. But if you watch to the end, the last second or so is just a little bit Contemplating the Divine. Just a little. But it’s not worth skipping to the end, just watch the video if you think the ‘modern viking’ thing sounds amusing and treat the last moment as a bonus.

Beautifully devastating

Then he can stop being brave and, indeed, stop being a boy, at least on some definitions.

He might have added a gentle little pat, at times, and they’ll be giving him their own version of that too.

He’s got another uniform just as smart as the one you can see in the picture, but with more lace trimming.

Although if you’ve got an existing organ donor card, apparently that already covers it – you’re considered to have donated any organs that seem unlikely to be put to productive use, so they’re free for the taking. Some men have been a bit surprised to discover that, on waking up from a minor unrelated operation, but it’s right there in the small print.

Oh well, I suppose you can be grateful she’s not getting one of those cow milking devices with four tubes, for doing Robert, you and a couple of others all at the same time. For now.

Relentlessly romantic

And it makes her life easier too – she can focus her disciplinary efforts on gratifying her own sexual desires, instead of constantly having to make you scream for mercy over simple household tasks inadequately carried out.

You don’t want to make it her problem, believe me. She employs very effective problem-solving techniques.

Well she could look a bit more interested! I mean, here you are, ready to scream your guts out as you thrash around in agony for everyone else’s pleasure…

I can date to the very day – almost to the very stroke – the moment I reached the same realisation, in my own blissfully happy marriage.

She’ll get the hang of it. You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few kitchen slaves, am I right?

Actually, she’s unfairly disparaging* AFM’s technology section here. Just in the last few issues they’ve reviewed all the latest electronic air fresheners – focusing on how easy it is to change the scent they disperse – they’ve had some fascinating pieces on the microfungus ecologies that thrive and provide such rich aromas from even the cleanest armpits and they have tested out all of the latest AI models with a carefully standardised prompt crafted to induce them to describe a particular activity (can’t remember what it was) in as much detail as possible. Plus reviews of shaving technologies obviously.

*But then, Ms Palvin is very welcome to disparage me unfairly as hard and as often as she wants. I live for the hope that one day she will.

Enigmatic

Yes, just imagine how awful that would be. But don’t imagine too hard, or the spikes might start digging in painfully. Oh – too late? Sorry.

It’s amazing how modern technology can take the drudgery out of life but to a sufficiently determined woman, there’s still plenty of drudgery to be found.

I expect it’ll turn up eventually… and while it’s missing, you might even find out you could have done without it all along. It’s often that way.

Oh dear. And her feet too! Sigh. Scurry.

Don’t be so selfish – or possessive. In fact, it’s probably a good idea to get out of that last habit, now you don’t have possessions.

Life is pain, Highness

True, that. I’ve experienced a lot of pain in my relationships with women and I can only hope and pay for more in the years to come.

The dog gets the jelly bits from the cans of food, too… it’s really not fair.

It might be quite difficult for Treasure at first, as she has such a kind personality, but with the right teacher I’m sure she’ll learn to enjoy it.

As if there was any doubt that men are pigs – look at this guy! Couldn’t he have made at least some effort with his appearance, for the most important conversation he’ll ever have?

Apparently that’s called a ‘power pose’ – makes her feel powerful and in-charge. Although frankly, even sitting down in a comfy chair with someone draped across her lap awaiting the hairbrush, she comes across as pretty in-charge to me.

Phobia play’s a lot of fun and you don’t need the complicated set-up depicted here. Claustrophobia play, for instance, can be effective using something as simple as a heavy sack and a cupboard. And with two claustrophobes, it’s more than twice as much fun.

Degraded images

She’s going to take her time – no rush, is there?

Oh well, it’ll make a change from the chewing gum those big-city dommes pick up.

I must say, thiose bridesmaids are taking their duties very seriously. At my wedding, they were only there for the ceremony – although my best man stayed around for quite a while, now I come to think of it.

I used to think my SO was mixing up her two remotes, but it turns out she just set the TV control up to give me an electric shock every time she changes the channel or adjusts the volume.

It’s amazing the things medical science has come up with these days. You know, back in medieval times dommes engaged in medical play would put leeches up their clients’ bottoms? We’ve come a long way.

This lovely lady is Maitresse Blanche, based just outside Paris, whose medical skills have from time to time been employed in trying to sort out the many, many things that are wrong with Servitor.

Ah… lesbian femsubs. Many male submissives fantasise about their mistresses taking on a pretty little submissive but the reality is less ‘threesome’ but more doing a lot of housework around a rather giggly ‘twosome’, twice as much laundry and fewer ‘onesomes’ than ever. Not that I’m bitter – or complaining, obviously.

Resolute women

They always make sure that their New Year resolutions are kept.

It’s odd, because generally she prefers to be asked for her approval for everything I do.

Now this one’s just putting on a show of indifference to suit the ‘callous uncaring domme’ persona. Inside, she’s a swirling mess of worry that licking up cow shit might make you horribly ill, but she is concealing it – true professional that she is.

She does teasing and denial play too. That’s when you pay her and fuck off, frustrated and lonely. It’s only very subtly different from the findomme variant, to be honest.

Happiest day of your life, boy. Remember that.

Looks like she has stuff lying around the house she doesn’t need or want any more. Many people do, at this time of year. Best to just take the bold decision to throw it out, rather than leave it cluttering the place up. She won’t regret it.

Category: mud

Ferocious and fascinating