Contemplating the divine – Stories and pictures themed around female domination and male subjugation and servitude. Unsuitable for children, for alpha males, for hard-core practitioners with an interest in the politics of bdsm and the mechanics of complicated rope work. Of interest to perverts like me, basically.

Hard-hitting criticism

It’s the best sort.

But not really *sorry* sorry, if you know what I mean, not yet anyway.

It’s actually an incredibly common accident to happen, especially to guys strapped to a target board with their legs wide apart.

Ah, it wouldn’t be forced if they wanted to do it, would it?

She has urges too when confronted by a sub with his legs wide apart. Occasionally she resists them, but usually she doesn’t.

Remember the golden rule: if you don’t think a lady is respecting your autonomy and dignity as an adult, stamp your feet and bawl your head off in a tantrum. It never fails to get a reaction.

This lovely lady is Amy Hunter, whose wooden spoon Servitor has been privileged to have felt on several occasions (and I can confidently say I failed to take it like a man’ on any one of them).

Don’t worry if you don’t get everything right. As an expert on sexism and gender stereotyping, she is well aware that men are all moronic, bone idle, sex-mad idiots.

The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing

With that quote from Blaise Pascal (who she?), we introduce another post devoted to that sweetest of feminine characteristics: being impossibly, delightfully unreasonable in relations with the lesser sex.

Don’t interrupt her

Just don’t. And the easiest way to avoid doing so by accident is just not to speak at all in her presence, unless in response to a direct question.

Women featured on this blog do tend to get quite insistent when they are about to brush their hair, like this. No idea why.

Then he wants SPA: small penis admiration.

Treasure can be quite forgetful – just like that time she ‘forgot’ you were only supposed to be getting twenty lashes, and carried on for the best part of an hour. But she’s a sweet girl, really.

Oddly, the idea for his most celebrated breakthrough in hydrodynamics was when he was handwashing some period-stained panties and observed how the water swirled around the gusset while rinsing after scrubbing with the nailbrush. The resulting paper got over two thousand citations, although more importantly, Mistress was less pleased with the cleanliness – or otherwise – of her panties.

She can add the cost to the amount he owes, plus her usual commission of course.

Surely before a feast, one should fast so as to build up an appetite? Easy to see that this ‘paradise island’ needs a man around, to explain how best to do things!

The elegant and fabulous Mistress Eleise, looking fabulously elegant. Fans of this elegantly fabulous look just might want to take a furtive look here, although of course you certainly did not hear that from me.

It is better to pay court to a queen … than to worship, as we too often do, some unworthy person whose wealth is his sole passport into society

M. E. W. Sherwood said that and went on “I believe that a habit of respect is good for the human race.” So there you go.

Yes… yes… just get on to the bit about forgiving me. Women, eh? Why can’t they come straight to the point?

There’s a little room you can go to, to… umm… perform the act. A uniformed bank employee will have to watch over you the whole time you’re there, I’m afraid, that’s just the rules. But if you’d rather not… that’ll be fine with her.

They can’t bear the sight of an unwhipped male and who could blame them?

I’m glad to say that my SO told me our wedding night went exactly the way she’d expected and planned. She even showed me a video – looks like all that money spent on the escort agency paid off!

Don’t worry: one day his savings will run out and then they’ll stop feeding him. So there’s that to look forward to.

These hard-driving ladies are, obviously, Goddess Sophia and Mistress Morrigan Hel.

She’s got lots of interesting ideas. She has to, really, because almost every man she meets has only one.

Men aren’t smart enough to go it alone

As dear old Plum’s Bertie Wooster noted, but even back in the early twentieth century, they were fortunate enough to have women to lead ahead or walk sternly behind them. More Downton domination.

Ferocious and fascinating

Oh well. I suppose they can stick with this one for a while, until they find something better.

Looks like a good earthy loam, much more palatable than the acidic, chalky stuff where I live.

Female supremacy’s actually quite simple at heart – even a male can be brought to an understanding of it, with a little effort.

Whatever floor she wants is the floor you can become.

In later life, Mike would ruefully recall worrying that Carole would turn into her mother, little imagining how much stricter she could become.

Discomfort women

Oh, what a shame. I was so looking forward to sitting in an overcrowded pub with a bunch of self-obsessed men, pretending to laugh at anecdotes I didn’t properly hear over the thumping music. Guess I’ll just be staying in, quietly rearranging her panty drawer. Damn.

Or several orgasms. It’s different for women, you see. In many ways. They get to come, for a start.

What, did you think they were going to bet their own money? That’s just not how this thing works.

She’s noticed there’s always extra demand for those products around the end of July: that’s the local domme’s birthday.

Oh, being blackmailed isn’t so bad. It’s when she decides to stop blackmailing you and publish the photos: that’s the really unpleasant bit.

She doesn’t really care, she’s just passing the time.

And an extra one, inspired by a letter I received this morning.

BDSM… it’s all about giving up power, as I might have to if the prices rise any more.

The hot goddess in this silly satire was of course the truly chilled Goddess Alexandra Snow.

Eighteen not thirty-four

No, nothing to do with the ages of the ladies featured, pervert. Like so much of this blog’s obsession, it’s all about the rules. Rule 34 of the Internet says ‘If it exists, there’s porn of it’ while Servitor’s Rule 18, says: “Try to avoid sessions with clients who have really specific fetishes and can’t get off unless it is exactly right.” That’s what today’s post is. Unlike some Rule 18 images, these ones have captions by the lovely ladies involved who have not taken Servitor’s advice (very wisely, on this as on everything else).

Of course it’s your fault, darling

You’re male aren’t you? Well then.

Many males object to being secured permanently in this way, but it does reduce the stress of uncertainty, don’t you think? Or of her losing the key.

Now, that is so not true. She’s doing a lot… for me, anyway.

Fortunately, boys these days don’t need maths skills to keep track of their orgasms – women are happy to do that for them and the numbers are never that large anyway.

She’s usually generous with her time; doesn’t wind things up immediately just because the session’s reached its scheduled end-time. But you can wait, right? ‘Course you can.

I’m sure he will. She has many unhappy customers.

That looks like a much better-ordered office than the one I started work in, many many years ago, where I had an embarrassing moment on my first day when I discovered that ‘dress code’ didn’t necessarily imply wearing a dress. I think some places just do these things to catch new joiners out, especially very stupid ones like me.

The beatings will continue

… as long as she likes, whether behaviour improves or not, quite frankly.