boyfriends – Contemplating the divine

Hurtful comments

She’s trying to play it cool, but I think we all know she’s wildly turned on by the whole scene.

My SO has a similar scheme: I hand her all my money and do everything I’m told and in return I live a life that is quite frequently entirely free of agonizing pain. It’s really a bargain, when you think about it.

Glad sissy found a way to keep busy, to take her mind off the situation.

Yes: literally ‘any’. What would you like him to do next?

Let’s hope he doesn’t react violently, but if he does let’s at least be grateful that no one important will get hurt.

Heavenly correction

He’s actually not really into BDSM. Poor guy… probably hating every moment. Still, that’s a brave little smile.

Come on – what could possibly go wrong? Apart from that faulty power surge protector and I’m pretty sure that’s working properly now.

She’s really sweet once you get to know her.

There’s nothing quite so empowering for a domme as going round cleaning just after a sub has flounced around for an hour “cleaning”.

I tried switching once. After about five minutes the female submissive started shouting at me for being so bad at it and I ended up apologising and having to write out “I am the most feeble, unexciting excuse for a Master ever” 500 times. But then, when you think about it, she didn’t do that well herself, did she?

When you’re in a fix

just call for the men in tights!

Well… those are two of her spanking aprons, anyway. She has more.

You never know when you’ll need to do some sudden washing up in the middle of the night.

Hmm.. Turned out they don’t have a vibrator at the reception desk, but they sent up a couple of their room service guys anyway and they were able to sort the problem out, so that was OK. Pretty impressive customers service, I’d say.

Now you see that’s just typical of my wife – she sends me out to buy the stuff but doesn’t tell me what she wants it for! Now I’m going to have to buy both – she hasn’t heard the last of this, you know!

The magic’s still there.

Lap of honour

It’s funny how much clearer things can appear, through tear-stained eyes.

Yes, I suppose I am. I even irritate myself, sometimes.

Oh good. Thrash it out, once and for all.

It must be awful for her, having a brutal boyfriend. Imagine how she felt: just having to stand there watching you being beaten up.

Well, that’s settled. Good. On with the ironing.

The imperative mood

“The imperative mood
(often referred to simply as a command) is used to express demands,
instructions or requests. We usually use the second person (plural or
singular) with an unspoken “you” for the subject.” sez Learnenglish. The ‘you’ is indeed unspoken, although sometimes She substitutes other words to refer to Her servitor.

The grammatically correct response to the imperative mood is the submissive mood.

Ludicrous, unrealistic fantasy. Who’d pay $2500 for a male?

What’s that? You’re guessing ‘mandatory gender sensitivity training’? Well, sure, maybe that too, that too.

I don’t see the point of these fancy electronic monitoring systems. A sturdy 20-foot length of chain has always done the trick in our (actually Her) household.

Here’s a clue: whoever it was lifted the seat. So it won’t be Raoul for a start: he never does,

So pretty, oh so pretty

Not the version by those dreadful yobs, of course, but by Mistress Joan.

Oh well, I suppose it’s something to take my mind off it.

She’s Prisoner Welfare Officer too, so you know she’s got your best interests at heart.

A lot of new findommes have the wrong idea about financial domination. It’s actually quite hard work. But not for the domme, obviously.

This being a fantasy blog, I expect she’s going to ‘punish’ you by doing all the things you’ve always dreamed about, rather than just divorcing you and exposing you to ridicule in the newspapers.

They’re very zealous about it. Indeed, I believe that some of his team are about to raid an establishment where they’ve received a tip-off about repeated violations of the ban on smoking in the workplace. They don’t give any warning – just burst straight in through the door, cameras at the ready.

Managed care

Well, I hope she finds something to amuse herself with while you’re busy with all that.

You get to wear a nightie just like hers, too.

And she has a lot more than ten commandments.

I find I do some of my best thinking over a trestle. I think about stuff a lot when I’m there.

Wow. I think that’s the niceest compliment any girl has ever paid me.

Gender imbalance

I won’t give away the ending. Oh all right then, I will. The book falls off and he gets the crap beaten out of him with a perspex cane. OK?

Now I understand why they make the interns wear shorts.

erm… Translation? Rotation? Summation?

I’ve heard that if you insult the waiting staff in some restaurants, they’ll spit into your food. But I just can’t bring myself to be other than grovellingly respectful to a waitress. What’s a sub to do?

One day she’ll meet Mr Perfect and won’t feel the need to enslave and degrade him. One day.

Helplessly devoted

When you wake up I’m sure you’ll feel quite different.

Looks like some language lessons are in order!

It’s good of Mike to make sure she’s satisfied before he has his fun. He’s thoughtful like that.

It can be difficult for stepchildren at first. Feelings of rage, resentment. The books say it’s best not to hold it in, so from the look of it things are going to turn out all right in this case.

Nice warm bath with a cast-lit novel, then a back-rub and pop Elastrating Edward into the DVD player. Bliss.

…and an extra one, because of previous incompetent duplicate posting. Thanks Ralph D!

Effortless superiority

Oh well. Being beaten by Simon’s no fun, but there’ll be other guests who want a go too, so…


It’s good when fetishes are complementary* like that. A friend of mine went on a date with a girl he really fancied, who turned out to have a castration fetish – and that just wasn’t his thing at all. So he hasn’t dated her since. Or anyone, come to think of it. Sad, really.

Of course, it’s not just about penis length. Girth matters too.

Crush fetish again!


Oh. OK. (Damn!)

* Now come on, EditorDomme! Is there another fetish blog anywhere on the Internet that knows the difference between complementary and complimentary? As you know I take (and ocasionally receive) a lot of pains over my grammar. I could of just written any old rubbish, but I choose my words with care.

Note: due to technical incompetence out of my control, I don’t have a good record of which captions I posted between July and October this year (and I am not looking through all the blog posts to check…). So any males reading this who see a caption they’ve seen here before can do some work, for once in their lazy, feckless lives, and let me know in the comments.