Pretty brutal

Falling.  In love.

That’s right. If you think about it, what could be more sexually empowering than paying another man to undertake the work of actually carrying out the fucking?
Time you got a watch.

Well… as long as there’s nothing perverted involved I suppose it’ll be OK.
I’ve always had this extraordinary talent for perceiving what women are thinking, when they look at me. A knack, you might say. 

Deliver us from freedom


It’s a small town, so the walk of shame afterwards will only take you 15 minutes or so.

I had a very traditional upbringing – strict discipline, cold showers, that kind of thing.  It cost about £450 but it was worth every penny and I’m going back in a few weeks for another one.

Goodness, if you can’t trust your cleaner with that sort of trivial responsibility, why would you even let her into the house?
Ahhh male doms.  I think male doms are just great, in their proper place.

Perhaps you’d better approach the bench.


and believe me, several ladies quite skilled in the art of correction have tried.

Truth and consequences.

Best years of your life.

They seem rather indecisive for such otherwise forceful ladies.  I hope they make their minds up soon… can’t hang about in here all day.

They don’t have tribunals for gross professional misconduct in dreams – that could be another way to tell the difference, in due course.

Good to see them upholding basic safe play standards.  See, many people think pro-dommes are uncaring but it just ain’t so.

Oh, I hope there’ll be jellyfish

The servitor who uploads material to this blog will be on an undeserved holiday for the next few weeks.  Normally awful service will be maintained, through the magic of ‘scheduling’ and comments – especially abusive ones – remain as welcome as ever, but will not be responded to (so the grovelling apologies must wait).

The jellyfish thing? Oh yeah. This.

You know, I heard once that feeling sad and lonely is just your body’s way of telling you what an unpleasant person you are to be with?  Makes a lot of sense.

I’m slowly working my way into her affections, I reckon.

Mmmpphhh grtrrth.

Of course, they’ll need to use something else to achieve the burning sensation.  Hot coals, maybe? They’re very creative.


Hope there’s some beer for me.

No means no

There’s been a lot of news lately about the need for men always to seek a woman’s consent before any sexual activity.  And I think that’s exactly right.  If she says no – that’s it.  You’ll just have to wait until next month.


Finally found something you’re good at!  Well done.


The selection process is quite rigorous.  Some don’t survive.  But there’s plenty of them, so that’s really not a problem.


Well, if being told off and humiliated by an attractive lady in a sharp business suit doesn’t take his mind off sexy things, I don’t know what will!


They’re more kind of… snaily, if you know what I mean.  You don’t?  Oh.  Well – kind of like a cockroach that’s been squished under a boot most of the day – and I expect you know how bad that tastes!
Awww… sweet.

Informed consent

It’s very important.  She always informs me when my consent is required for something.

Penectomy trouble
Ignorance is no defence. 

Check-out time is when she decides to release you.

Hmmm. Interesting.  I wonder what she does use, then.  Any thoughts?

..and what’s the best?

Probably best not to ask… I certainly don’t know.

She seems nice.

I was going to point you to this forthcoming movie which looks very fine, but Paltego beat me to it.

So instead (trigger warning: vanilla.  And you have to enter access code 7201969), how about Anne Hathaway in space

Oh sweet misery of life at last I’ve found you

Thoughtful domme
There now – you can’t say she didn’t consider it.

Femdom wife demands obedience
I believe she’s right.

Cuckold femdom fantasy etc
It’s good to be special.

Mistress stores slave away
Oh well, as long as she doesn’t give a fuck, I suppose it’s all right.

Yes Ma’am.

Speaking strictly

Generally, violence isn’t the solution.  But in this case, it probably is, if we’re being honest with ourselves.  Not just impertinence, but habitual impertinence, after all.

Why do I find this the scariest captioned photo I have ever posted?

Cool. This could be your lucky break into movies.  Maybe when you’ve recovered, you could see about getting an agent?
 This of course is Cruella, and the sublime Lady Victoria, from the very first set of magazines after the company was founded.  She haunted my adolescence… still does.

Well, she used to, anyway.  I think she might have lost it, actually.  Doesn’t really matter, but just so you know.

OK, so you’re probably not going anywhere here.  Still: you haven’t been rejected as a sad, useless and unattractive excuse for a man… you’ve been rejected as a sad, useless and unattractive excuse for a man by Billie Piper!  Huh?  Not bad, huh?

Just looking


What?  Oh God,
no.  You don’t have to do anything like that.  He can’t cope with real women.

We just have to stand here wearing these
for half an hour while he watches. Then we go and get changed and leave him the
underwear.  God knows what the little
pervert does with it – puts it on or wanks into it or something.  Easiest money you’ll ever make.


No, don’t worry about that. 
He gets off on humiliation.  You
can say what you like.


Can’t we, pervert?


That’s right.


By the way, pervert, after this, we’ve got an appointment with a real
man.  He wants to fuck both of us all
night, and we’re charging him less than a tenth of what you’re paying for half
an hour! 

Isn’t that funny?
Hmm?  No, he never speaks.  Just sits there and watches.  Kind of creepy, isn’t it?  Still, probably better that he does this than going off to watch girls in the park, or something.
How are we doing for time?  This is the first time I’ve had someone with me.  It’s good to have someone to talk to, instead of just me and the creep.  He got very excited when I said I was bringing a friend – didn’t you, pervert?  Asked if we could kiss, and maybe cuddle a bit.
And what did I say to that, pervert?  Do you remember?  Oh but you don’t say anything, do you?  You just sit there, drinking in the humiliation.  Well, I’ll tell you again.  I told you to fuck off, didn’t I?  There’s no way you’re going to see us doing any lesbian stuff.  Not for you to get off to, anyway.  Actually, we really are lovers, in real life.  I’ll probably kiss her the moment we leave your apartment.  And then we’ll probably fuck each other in the threesome.  But you wouldn’t want to see us fucking anyway, pervert.  That’s real sex you see, between two real women.  It’s not like those pictures of straight girls gently stroking each other in pristine underwear, wearing lots of make-up and glancing back at the camera. That’s just porn for perverts.  The real thing would scare the shit out of you.  Probably leave you impotent for days… if you’re not already.

In fact, fuck it, you don’t deserve the full half hour.  We’re leaving early.  Come on – let’s go and get changed.  He’ll just have to sniff extra hard.


Oh – and pervert?  Next time you book us?  You’re only getting fifteen minutes.  Same price. And we’ll decide what time to arrive – you can just wait for us all evening, if we’re running late.

Now you can call us a limo.
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