therapy – Contemplating the divine

To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo.

Valerie Solanas said that, bless her little cotton socks.

The male gaze is often directed inappropriately, such as when men attempt to peek away from the wall during corner time. Fortunately, women know of techniques to help us learn not to look where we mustn’t.

They might even try a little roleplay later on.

In Valerie Solanas’s utopia, the testicles themselves would be illegal contraband and confiscated at the border.

In my experience, women really hate it when you lose consciousness during a heavy pain session. And if you think about it, it’s a very selfish thing to do: putting your own needs ahead of hers.

Some men spend their whole lives chasing after beautiful women.

Soon after my marriage I learnt to stop worrying about being whipped and instead learned to worry about whether I was doing everything I could to please my SO. You might see it as a mere semantic distinction, as the two are so closely linked, but I found it helped.

Incidentally, you might be interested to learn that I have discovered the man who holds the best job in the world. Doesn’t look very happy about it, does he? Perhaps he’ll resign and they’ll advertise for a replacement… we can but dream.

…until you’re spoken to

Sometimes she appreciates having a man around, to help out.

She may be better-informed than him now, but she’s working hard to bring him up to speed.

The lovely Zoe Page, of course. You knew that, right? She gave me a wonderful post-spanking cuddle once, but her femdom persona these days is a little harder-edged.

Castration fetishes are perfectly healthy as long as they’re not taken too far, of course. Keep it safe: just the genitals, yeah? Removing any other bits would be too extreme.

He gets better food too. The gourmet stuff that comes in sachets.

They have a very flexible monthly payment scheme: basically she just decides how much she and her friends want and texts you to transfer it.

Goodness, I don’t know *what* you’d do with your money for a month without Kitten, so let’s hope she manages to spend it all today. Fortunately, she’s a pro.

… and finally, because it’s not particularly femdom, we’ll call this one an extra:

Fascinatrices

Trust is important in marriage, but not as important as discipline. She’d like to trust you, but like any caring wife she just wants to make quite sure.

She doesn’t know much about horses. You know, she didn’t even realise you don’t have to peel carrots before you give them to a horse? So someone spent over an hour peeling carrots… and then there were all the scrapings to be eaten up off the ground. All in all, it’s fair to say this is not what he expected when he paid a domme to come out to his place in the country… which is probably why he tipped her double and emailed her the very next day requesting another session.

Just after this picture was taken, he made the mistake of replying that in that case he would be happy to help out by doing half of the spanking. This did not go down well, but after a very long discussion their marriage emerged stronger than ever.

Fair enough to pay extra for an orgasm but I’ve heard there are some fake dommes who charge extra for simple things that really ought to be included in the up-front tribute, like being untied, having the beating stop or just the plastic bag removed from over your head. It’s a rather shady practice, in my view.

The most important thing for her to realise is that she’s in control.

I find it hard to look at her without suffering an Anya-ism. Well, “suffering” isn’t really the right word.

Repression obsession

Several strokes of luck – and don’t forget to count them and thank her for each one.

There’s more of us cucks around than many people realise. But we’re not coming out of the closet – not until she says so, obviously.

Goodness there are some weirdos around. I’m glad he’s seeking professional help.

That looks like a lot of fun, for almost everyone involved.

It can be hard to tell with males as we don’t start out with a lot of higher brain function to begin with.

And let’s face it, in those circumstances it’s not as if you need an actual woman to be present, right?

That’s what she said

Don’t make her say it twice.

I’m sure Julie won’t mind at all but it’s always polite to ask.

My SO likes to play this game and would you believe it, I’ve lost 23 times in a row. What are the odds?* I would say I’m very unlucky but I’m so lucky to be married to such a wonderful lady, that would be churlish.

* Just over one in ten million. “Do the maths” – as a Governess I used to visit used to say – “then bend over the punishment bench so I can do the marking”.

Many relationships that end in divorce could actually be saved if only the woman were prepared to make her husband do the work.

There’s usually a little crowd of embarassed-looking beta-boys waiting outside that club, so you can pass the time in awkward chats with them. You can bond over lucky you all are to have the opportunity perhaps to be useful to your goddesses, boyfriend jealousy issues, how you deal with chafing from your chastity belts and all that kind of subbie stuff. As long as she’s given permission, obviously.

The divine Mistress Akella, there.

It’s about time an A-list star called out these creepy publications that use images of actresses without permission, to titillate their sad and perverted readership. This blog applauds Ms Scarlett’s courage in speaking out.

You must submit to supreme suffering in order to discover the completion of joy

John Calvin said that, kinky little slut that he was.

I hope that isn’t real fur. It’s cruel, you know.

Oh, I hate sissy play-dates, don’t you? Sometimes I’d rather just be left at home, chained up on the back porch. But my preferences don’t enter into it.

I don’t see what isn’t sexy about any of that.

He should take her seriously. Very, very seriously.

You could ask. What’s the worst that can happen?

Cruel summer (14)

Last in the series, with a few extras. Back to abnormal service tomorrow, with a silly Sunday story about a Victorian governess.

It might take a day or two before I get a chance to reply to all the comments. You know how it is when you’re just back from holiday: so many chores to do around the house, so many apologies to be properly made, so much cage time because haven’t I just had a lovely holiday for goodness’ sake, and won’t it do me good to spend a little time locked away in the cellar, counting my blessings? But reply I shall, Goddess willing and permitting.