Speaking with authority

Once when I was in hospital I tried out the ‘just a little prick with a needle’ joke* on one of the nurses. But she just looked confused and said “But I’m the one with the needle.” I did feel a fool.

BDSM’s odd like that. Subs are actually much more interested in exactly how the implement feels than the dommes.  My SO seems to grab any old thing at random sometimes when she wants to hit me – I actually feel that shows a lack of respect, which is lovely, obviously.

Starting with this.

Makes it all worthwhile.

It’s rather an exciting art form, not least because it needs weekly refreshing.

* “I know you are, but what are you going to do with it?”.

You made a life out of hurting me

Well, a career anyway.  (warning: link is DSFW*)

*Disappointingly safe for work.

Yeah, just do whatever comes naturally.  She doesn’t mind.

Apparently, onset of the male menopause can occur as early as your 20s.  You just have to marry the right woman.

And what’s Ioannis got that I haven’t, I’d like to know? 
In an emergency, she could always just use one of the hotel’s coathangers or something.

She only puts the big ones on her trophy wall.  Smaller ones she makes into into novelty hat or shoe racks and sells them on e-bay..

Sexual repression

I have my testosterone levels checked twice a year.  They’ve never found any yet, but you can’t be too careful about these things.
I’m delighted to say my SO reaches orgasm every time she has sex.  I can usually hear it even from my cage down in the cellar.
Who said she was pissed off?  A bit disrespectful, if you ask me.  I reckon Dave should report him for that.

Don’t worry, it won’t kill you.  Not at only two a day.

I’m tempted to say somethng about ‘hanging around’ but I don’t want to beaten up by irate readers… oh hang on, yes I do.

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