Those uncomfortable conversations

Try not to pity her boyfriend too much, abject slave to his desires though he is: he doesn’t know any better, poor soul.
How reassuring.
Don’t worry: she’s not really going to change her name to Mrs Pencildick. As a matter of fact, her husband’s the one who’s going to be legally changing his surname. To hers, obviously, although she is considering making him change his first name officially to Pencildick, or some such, at the same time.
It’s the same algorithm that sends you all those dick enlargement emails. Oh… you thought they were just spam? No, they’re very carefully targetted. Most other guys don’t get them.
When setting up a session with a new domme I usually ask her to treat me with utter contempt and disdain and I have to say, my experience has been that they’re all startlingly good at it. Sometimes I don’t even ask and they still get it right… I guess experienced dommes develop a kind of sixth sense for what their clients are looking for.
He obviously survived to a ripe old age… imagine him keeping the book all those decades, turning the pages occasionally to reminisce over his days under Miss Rathbone’s loving tyranny, only for the book to be sold to a second-hand shop after his death. Still: looks like it’s found an appreciative home.

…and just a little bit of found femdom to finish (do hurry up and finish, won’t you? Your wife will be back soon and you don’t want her to find you like this). More divine Joy. who has done this many, many times before and she totally, totally knows

Who would’ve cared at all

Not her.

She did say she wouldn’t do anything to embarass you – and she won’t. No need, when you’re embarassing yourself so effectively.

Seems very businesslike. But then it’s best not to personalise what is, after all, a purely impersonal business arrangement as far as she’s concerned.
If we’re honest, it doesn’t make a huge amount of difference whether he tries to be brave or not. But it’s nice of her to ask.

Lovely Mistress Mina. And lovely someone else, too.

It’s good she’s got you to help take her anger away.
Some subs find hypothetical questions like this difficult but they’re actually not as difficult as the non-hypothetical ones that have immediate practical relevance, I find.
She’s very concerned about his health, she’s even been reading up online about medical conditions that affect the elderly.

Imperial leather

More captions from a bygone age. Several bygone ages. But all featuring enchanting unfairness from the fairer sex.

One does.
Curiously, as a result of these two ladies taking their roles slightly further than he had anticipated, the ‘genleman’ in question was late for a meeting of the British Cabinet at which a fateful decision was taken that, had he been able to attend, he would have counselled against and thus avoided the siege of Khartoum and all the unpleasantness that stemmed therefrom. But Luce and Eliza got paid and that’s the important thing.
Forgive her Father, but not just yet if you don’t mind.
Albert, of course, died tragically young – an outcome for which the young queen was in no way responsible. So please don’t ask her how he actually died, she prefers not to think of the night in question. Nor was it in any way connected to the form of penile implant that was subsequently named after her late consort. Historians are quite clear on that and to suggest otherwise is technically treason, even today. Interestingly, the practice of ‘queening’ may well have been named after Victoria, although the suggestion to rename it ‘queen-empressing’ after 1877 never really caught on.
I think Kitty might need to comfort her quite soon, as she seems quite affected by the sight, the poor delicate thing.
Not compensations every time, but certainly compensations.

There was a time

when they used to say...

Yes, it’s another 1980s/90s -ish-themed post. Those heady days of big hair, big music and big phones. What’s that? yes, I’m well aware I’ve ‘done’ the big hair / big phone joke before. But this is a nostalgic post, it’s supposed to hark back. Oh, and it’s mostly very British. I hear they had the 1980s in other countries, but it doesn’t sound half as good. We had ladies with whips on The Tube and Space 1999 too…

Anyway, this is not another issue of Empress Magazine (but one is even now being lovingly pasted up using photographic paper and wax and will soon be linotyped into existence and rushed out in vans to newsagents worldwide to be handed out to furtive punters in plain paper bags). No, this is just captions relating to another time. That’s what it is. Here they are.

Probably not a good idea to lick up too much latex shiner, then act as a live ashtray, though. Foom! But quite funny for any watching dommes.
For some reason, in the UK this sort of image is known as a ‘glamour shot’.
OK, technically this one isn’t very British. This is, remarkably enough, Tina Fey in a muppet movie. More kids’ films should feature attractive ladies dressed as guards from totalitarian regimes, in my view.
It’s a good look for him. The screaming, I mean. The moustache is meh.
It was all a very coy way of talking about that ‘very special time of the month’. Or ‘special time every three months’ or year, whatever your chastity regime requires.
Yeah… we expected a future with jet-pack travel, bases on Mars and cities beneath the oceans. Instead, what did we get? A near endless supply of femdom porn, free and available to be furtively consumed in the comfort of our own homes. Thank goodness for that.

With huge apologies throughout to Cruella. Still going! Pay Andy a visit.

Thanks be to women

Aw… he’s going to be all bashful and get confused as he tries to stutter out his question, now. But she won’t mind: she’s nice.
My own employer set up a taskforce to evaluate some external dominatrix service providers – we trialled five of them, which was a bit exhausting for me, as the only male on the team. In the end, though, the choice was easy as the cheapest option surprisingly also turned out to be the most painful. It pays to shop around.
So, ermmm, what are you both up to these days? Apart from this, obviously.

A pair of wonderful French dominatrices there: on the right, the talented and beautiful Maîtresse Blanche who has had the dubioius pleasure of inserting various medical things into Servitor and peeing on me, while on the left I believe is la talentueuse et belle Maîtresse Euryale, who probably has much better facilities into which to relieve herself… but I hope some day may yet find a stinking load of raw, untreated Servitor piled up on her doorstep needing humane disposal.

It’s important not to boil them for too long or you can lose the flavour.
It’s nice to have a change of scene but you know what it’s like with holidays… 24 hours after you get home it’s as if you never left.
Give me the real thing any day. I believe Ms Cassie Hunter is on the shortlist to star in the new one: 50 Shades: Black and Blue.

Motivating thoughts

He does the actions, too. Those consist of thrashing around frantically, in a futile attempt to dodge the strokes.
Try not to objectify her when you’re hanging there. No woman likes to feel like a piece of meat.
Wow – she’s not just a barrista, she’s a startup! You could invest in her, be one of those… what do they call them, angels! I’m sure she’d guarantee you a very fair return.
Sorry about the poor picture quality. But the expression was sooo perfect.
She’s just trifling with your feelings.
Try not to be too nervous. Just nervous enough, that’ll be fine.

Lashes speak louder then words

Surprise her and you might get a surprise yourself. Or you might not – that’s all part of the fun.
Actually, almost anything that maledom porn depicts being done to females can be done to males too, as long as you’re prepared to make a few cuts and alterations.
Looks good on her. Let’s hope it wasn’t anyone you knew.
Men often say things they later regret.
Plus it’s good for him to have an opportunity to experiment where it doesn’t matter if he makes a mistake and ends up breaking something.
She really shouldn’t worry; it’ll be fine.

Implausible truth can serve one better than plausible fiction

Attentive ‘readers’ will recognise the magnificent Mistress Eleise, of course. Her web site, alas, seems not to have been updated since 2019, so this might be as close as you’re ever going to get.

The presence of Lady Sophia Black, on the right there, brings to two the number of extraordinarily beautiful and creative dommes who are now retired, in today’s post. If you missed out on both Mistress Eleise and Lady Sophia then… well, I’m afraid you face a lifetime of sadness and regret. Sorry and all that, but there it is… you can at least be happy for me that I managed to meet them both. Several times. Does that help? Anyway, fortunately, Lady Lola, on the left, appears still to be active and I’m sure will give you a ballet lesson to remember, if you ask very very nicely.

Unselfish cruelty

Oh, OK. I’d previously always been told it was barely noticeable.
I dream an impossible dream about unfair maidens.
Oh dear. The poor thing. There is actually one little untruth in the account above – despite being so much younger than her poor dead husband, she’s actually more sexually experienced than him, as it happens. But I don’t think those kinds of prurient detail need to come out in court, do you? She’s suffered enough.
Lots of things are handwash-only, these days. For others, I’m allowed to use my mouth too.
I once tried sewing some pads into the base of some shorts I often wear around the house. Of course my SO discovered the ruse… and she was very unhappy about it. As she explained, it not only diminished the efefctiveness of any disciplinary measures she saw fit to impose, it also demonstrated ungratitude for all the efforts she makes. She was quite upset – and after she’d explained the point at length, I really felt her pain and I felt bad about it for a long time afterwards too. Don’t do it, guys.
I guess he got the good genes. And now he’ll have the chance to put some of them inside her.

Oh, and as you’re still here, a couple of links. Not ‘found femdom’ exactly (I think of that as being things in mainstream culture that hit our weirdly-situated buttons), as these are both from professional dominatrices but both are very lovely things that caught my eye.

First, the rather wonderful Domina M has taken to posting free videos on her web site. For the avoidance of doubt, the ‘rather’ in that sentence should be read as British delberate understatement to mean ‘absolutely, fantastically, brilliantly’ wonderful. All the videos are great. Rather cleverly (if I understand correctly), the latest one can be accessed directly, the full set need registration of an email address but are free.

More briefly, I thought this was delightful, reminiscent of course of that Orwell quote: “If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.” But more fun than a 1940s vision of a Stalinist totalitarian Britain.

Perfectly entitled

She doesn’t have to repeat herself, but of course she’s perfectly entitled to say the same thing every month.
He, on the other hand, is not at all entitled but is hoping for a favourable outcome. I’m sure she’ll say yes: it would be mean and capricious to say no, after all.
He thought it would make the scene more edgy, using a real loaded gun, and he was right. Some dommes would just work it into the scene, maybe even applying a wickedly tight tourniquet to the affected body parts (helping to staunch the massive loss of blood as well as providing a kinky thrill) but it seems this one has had enough. I expect she needs a quiet evening in, with a hot bath, a bottle of wine and her cats – to put her weird and kinky clients right out of her mind.
Don’t worry: no one will think any less of you because you’re only a homemaker. They all regard you with utter contempt already.
Nothing like a cold shower in February to bring a brisk dose of real life to a femdom session, I find. PS – why are dedicated dungeon spaces often so f***ing cold? Perhaps I should just play domestic scenes in winter months, curled up over a lap in front of a nice warm fire, with a nice warm bottom…
She’s a pro and she demands a professional service.
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