Times you really wanna cry

You could try hopping from one foot to another.  It does no good, but it’s traditional somehow.

And then they could sit on them sitting on the cones.

If all else fails, ‘being male’ would do.

I was once told by a sex worker that 45 seconds with me was worth as much to her as an hour or longer with a “normal client”. I thought that was such a nice thing to say that I got distracted and nearly missed my deadline.

Let’s hope someone brought the lube!

When a boy loves a woman

He’d give up all his comforts and sleep out in the rain, if she said that’s the way it ought to be.

Free healthcare?
Perhaps you could charm her into giving you a free drink.
Any man complaining about how frustrated he feels in chastity is just missing the point.  Still: the wives are involved now, so things should get back on track.
Music has charms.  So does she.
No rush.  He can stay like that for a long time.  Let’s talk through those options.

They think it odd and Sodom and Gomorrah-ble

Isn’t it delectable?

My SO can be scatterbrained like that.  Just last week was supposed to be my annual orgasm and the silly thing forgot it completely!  How we laughed when she realised the next day why I’d been looking so anxious. She still smiles when she thinks about it…
Abusive behaviour can develop slowly – or can be quite quick, starting almost as soon as one hands over the bag containing the champagne and the envelope with the tribute money. 

Tried it.  What now?  Hmm?
The rules can be quite strict.  I tried to change my name to my wife’s and they wouldn’t allow it. Isn’t that ridiculous – in this day and age?  Apparently “Mywifes” is not an officially recognised christian name.


Well, I hope she’s prepared to let him stay for the whole session, even if he did underpay.


Try hopping back and forth from one leg to the other. That can help a lot.

Well, OK, as long as it’s safe, sane, consensual and well-deserved. Or any two of those, anwyay.
People say that to keep up a diet you have to be really strict with yourself, but I’ve found that someone else being strict works just as well.
While you’re down there, you notice Simon’s shoes are quite badly scuffed – and there’s a client meeting later. What do you do? (a) say nothing, (b) let him know or (c) give them a quick polish yourself, as you’re there anyway. Take your time, there are no ‘wrong’ answers.

Well, as long as she remembers to keep it charged this time.


Oh, OK.  I thought we’d barely started.  Never mind.

Well… it is a big decision to take.  So it’s a good thing she’s already taken it.

He’ll probably mess it up, he’s such a moron.  Just think what a fool he’ll look, every time he forgets about a release date!  Serve him right too.

Some people leave their bodies to science – mine’s going to fashion!  Or upholstery, I suppose.

How can this have happened?  I mean, for goodness sake, this is the third time this week!

In the morning when the madness has faded


Oh hey, good
morning!  Listen, thanks for last night,
OK?  You were great.  One of the best I’ve had.

I loved the
way you shrieked when I was pinning your cock to the board!  Don’t you dare tell me you were faking!  If you were, you’re just the most amazing
actor ever, and I don’t want to know, OK?

Oh – and I’m
sorry about the mix-up with the enema bags. 
You probably realised the soapy one was supposed to go up your ass, not
into your mouth.  Still, I don’t suppose
it did you any harm.  I’m sure you’ve had worse.

Anyway – the
money’s over there on the sideboard, in an envelope.  I put a little extra in!

Hmm?  Well, it’s your money, sweetheart. For the
sub session.

What?  You mean you’re not…?  You weren’t expecting to be paid?

So, you
just…. Oh wow.  I mean, wow.  I’m sorry, I just assumed…

Well, you
must let me pay for something.  Otherwise
I’d feel awful, about doing all those things 
to you.  It is quite a lot of
money… and I don’t mind, I have plenty. 
That’s right.  You just take
it.  Buy yourself some nice things.

And you must let me
put a little make-up over the bruises  on
your face.  So you’re pretty, just in
case you want to try another trick tonight, now you’ve done it once.

And… listen,
I was thinking.  I don’t have to be
anywhere until after lunchtime.  Erm… would
you like to earn a little more?

Don’t worry
about having breakfast – it’ll be easier to do this on an empty stomach.


Giving until it hurts

… and indeed beyond.

Professional dominatrices
Poor things.  Their fingers must have been awfully cold.  You’d think the film-makers could have provided gloves or something.  Men can be so thoughtless, can’t they?

Spiked hood slave
I hope they don’t lace it too tight.  But they probably will, knowing them.

Punishment for the fun of it
Sometimes, in a relationship, an apology isn’t even needed.

Femdom enema fun
Looks like you’re in for another uncomfortable evening.

Yet another femdom castration caption
Ten minutes.  What can we do for ten minutes… hmmm.  I wonder if she’s feeling generous?

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