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You have to slap pretty hard to get the ketchup sachet to burst open. But then you have to slap pretty hard anyway – she insists on it – so don’t worry about that. Worry about other things. |
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And she’ll make sure you’re penciled in for one of the first slots available in her schedule after her holiday, OK? |
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Don’t worry, her travel insurance will make sure she gets all the money she needs after your tragic and unexplained disappearance. |
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Argh! It’s worse than when waiters do this… write it down! |
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Time to discover some traditional small-town values, I suggest. |
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You might as well be comfortable, while writhing in agony, after all. |
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Can a truly life-long relationship be founded on such flimsy foundations as a boots fetish and financial exploitation? Do you think he or she cares? |
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Kitten has sharp claws, daddy issues and some serious rage to work through. |
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And I didn’t even use paracetemol – that’s cheating. |
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Poor thing – thinking about it all afternoon like that. |
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Like steel needles, huh? Oh dear. Many of us know how awful those can feel. |
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And don’t forget the gratitude time. That’s very important. |
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Submissive women… fear them. I mean, it’s not natural, is it? |