forced exercise – Contemplating the divine

Sourness and light

If any of you do have any nasty little habits – particularly if you happen to be indulging them right now – I suggest you visit a specialist like her. That’s what I do.

Lesbian slavegirls don’t really understand male sexuality, of course, which is probably why so many of them featured on this blog want to suppress or even abolish it.

Think of your retirement as a second childhood; that’s certainly how the staff see it.

Choosing the first option is likely to result in very drastic, rapid weight loss.

How did the conversation get onto this topic, anyway, what’s what I want to know?

A kiss on the boot

…may be quite deferential. But diamonds…

Double what he himself would normally have to pay, that is. So about six times the going rate for a ‘normal’ client. But he does get to keep the shoes and ‘normal’ clients don’t get to keep the lady, so I guess he’s ahead.

Very directly. She’d appreciate short and truthful answers too and frankly you are likely to be gasping and crying out too much to think of (still less articulate) anything complicated.

I think she should just get on with it. A few little buzzes and he’ll almost certainly find that he agrees with her – on this and on everything.

Probably something to do with swimming. Maybe you can ask her about it later – but I’m sure you’ll both have better ideas for how to spend your wedding night than reliving old school memories.

I think the phrase he’s looking for is “Ma’am yes Ma’am!”.

Despotic imagery

Wow. My personal best is two and a half. Admittedly, I’ve only tried once.

Swings and roundabouts…

I expect there’ll be laughter and tears as well, to come.

Technically speaking, he’s actually the Right Honourable Pookie, QC. But he doesn’t stand on ceremony, as you can probably tell.*

She’s always taken an interest in young, struggling actors.

* No, this is a different Pookie.

Abject pleasure

Any prisoner being mistreated has the right to protest about it, too. As much as he likes.

Shame really… if the two of you were gay, you could save a lot of money by doing this voluntarily instead and not paying her to force you.

The lovely Goddess Snow, who makes the most wonderful tease videos in which she induces uncontrollable erections by… well, by existing really.

It’s complicated. To be honest, I don’t quite understand it myself. But she assures me there is a very good reason and I don’t like to argue.

I do occasionally wonder – especially when bent over and quivering in fear while being caned – what life would have been like if I’d had a different sexual fetish. Plushies for instance. That must be really easy.

I’m told I have a very punchable face. I can confirm that.

Don’t worry her pretty little head about it

Because she really doesn’t care. Just suffer in silence, unless she prefers you to suffer noisily.

In case any readers are thinking of trying this, removal of male sexual organs should only ever be carried out under the supervision of a trained medical professional, OK? The shooting club from where the photo was taken always has a qualified paramedic on standby. So they can enjoy their sport, without any serious health risks.

Mmm…. You wanted a cruel and sexy findomme, right?

Anna’s always too soft on them. Look at all that puppy fat he’s put on too! Soon sort that out.

It’s funny how many men say they want their wives to take charge but as soon as they get thrown out naked and without a penny, start whining about how that wasn’t what they wanted.

The girls at my school used to play skipping games. In fact, my first proper beating was with a skipping rope doubled over and soaked in water. Happy days.

The truth hurts

…but I have found that lying hurts even more.

I suppose it can’t hurt to try.

Don’t worry – it’s not the end of the discussion. There’ll be plenty of time for more apologies.

Actually, I had a bad experience just like this one. I thought I’d met the dominant woman of my dreams, but actually all she wanted was unpaid labour in her garden and it never really developed beyond that to a proper FLR, so after seventeen years I gave up on it. She still calls occasionally… and of course I don’t mind popping round for a few hours or days when she does, but I think we both realise the spark was never there.

They originally had proper school lessons but there’s not really much point teaching anything to boys who are only going to leave the school in a hearse, so most schoolwork consists of writing lines.

Not a problem I’ve ever had, I’ll admit.

Ladies in red

Men’s libbers are actually firmly opposed to being spanked. Most men are, actually. But they always end up thankful for it.

I once paid a prostitute to have sex with me – booked with a credit card. But when I opened the door to her, she looked me up and down, dug around in her purse, handed me the same amount in cash and walked off. Which could actually be quite handy some time, if I’m ever somewhere with no ATMs.

Never try puppy play alongside an actual dog. They’re better at it. Much the same goes for sex and real men. Don’t even try – you’ll just look foolish. And you wouldn’t want that.

Except that she’s started by using social media to advertise, so her first clients are precisely likely to be your friends. And your close family members.

She’s sneaked a tub of lube into the bottom of your tuck box. You know: to make the first few days a bit easier. She’s kind like that.

Herarchy

And when she’s sure she makes sure you’re sure.

Giving until it hurts.

He is now.

Well, I hate being whipped, so I can see a difference of opinion there that won’t be easy to resolve. Still, better not tell her. It’ll only make her cross.

They’re already planning a sequel. With different male lead characters, obviously.

Since you made it all the way down here (try to work more quickly next time, OK? My Blogger stats show that most readers reach orgasm by the third caption so there’s really no excuse for needing all five) here’s a little extra.

The Portly Polar Pinniped has the best collection of ‘mainstream’ video clips I have ever seen. Many of them very much themed along the ‘women’s world’ that this blog so often celebrates. He must be a busy little aquatic mammal and you’ll want to check out both his uploaded videos and his playlists.

There’s too many to single out all my favourites. But check out this playlist. It starts with the Charlie’s Angels clip you’ve probably seen, but press on as I’ll bet there’s good stuff here you haven’t. Especially this (rather reminiscent of the Two Ronnies Worm that Turned of blissful childhood memory). Oh: and definitely – def-in-ite-ly – this. And so much more.

Flap your flippers together in appreciation of the portly pinniped!

Suffering fools

Gladly or otherwise.

I never want to be more than two paces behind… for the rest of my life.

I hate having to disturb her when she’s working. But I can’t just take money from her purse without permission, so…

Tony gets steak and chips… not fair, I say. But then he does have a night of vigorous sexual activity ahead of him, so I suppose he needs the calories.

Sometimes they get a babysitter, but if they’re not going out until 7.30 or so, it’s easier just to put Paul to bed half an hour early. I mean it’s not like anything can go wrong, with his mittens fastened to the sides of the cucky-drawer.