Contumelious captions

Older husbands might start to find it hard to bend down every morning (and evening, obviously) for the greeting, but there’s a simple solution, especially after retirement – just stay on hands and knees all day.

Mock away.

If you wiggle about, he’ll probably finish quite quickly.


They know all the tricks.  Actually, occasionally the ‘clients’ aren’t faking and are genuinely unconscious, but then if they’re hung up and severely whipped, they can’t feel it and no harm done?  Right?  Well, OK, technically some harm maybe, but nothing to get bothered about.




Yup.  I was asked the other day if I’m sexually experienced and – with all due modesty – I did have to say that I thought the stain on the floor in front of my computer table could speak for itself on that particular score!  She looked suitably impressed.



Lock me down, lock me up

I don’t have much time to think about sex – too busy running this blog and there’s nothing remotely sexy here.

If I’m an adult man, surely I should be allowed to stay up after 8 o’clock?

I never know if it’s one kiss or two.
Only a bit useful.  But that’s more than he used to be.

Maybe she’s only looking at Tumblr.  No naked women on Tumblr. Vile racism, lies and misinformation, even ‘humorous’ captions about torture and castration, reblogged from here.  But no ladies with their clothes off, than goodness, so society is safe.

Speaking with authority

Once when I was in hospital I tried out the ‘just a little prick with a needle’ joke* on one of the nurses. But she just looked confused and said “But I’m the one with the needle.” I did feel a fool.

BDSM’s odd like that. Subs are actually much more interested in exactly how the implement feels than the dommes.  My SO seems to grab any old thing at random sometimes when she wants to hit me – I actually feel that shows a lack of respect, which is lovely, obviously.

Starting with this.

Makes it all worthwhile.

It’s rather an exciting art form, not least because it needs weekly refreshing.

* “I know you are, but what are you going to do with it?”.

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