kiss – Contemplating the divine

Honestly brutal

Don’t worry, she’ll let you out to check emails and your phone. In three weeks’ time.

I actually can’t think of anything I could do with a sex worker that would be more humiliating than attempting sex with her.

She needs you to practise the moves for your little dance routine at the reception, too.

There were too many pettifogging rules before, everyone said. If I pay to watch girls kicking someone (and I would), I don’t want them having to worry constantly about exactly what is being kicked and how hard.

Emily can be quite impressive – indeed, former guests often wake up at night screaming her name.

It’s going to be a holiday of a lifetime, for him. For Kitten, it’s just going to be a Tuesday, and not a particularly interesting one.

It’s just one damn’ thing after another

Astute readers (there might be a few, even though the readership is mainly male) will recognise the most accurate definition of ‘history” ever provided, and will wearily be preparing themselves for yet another special featuring ladies covered from neck to racily-hinted-at ankles and no latex. Pre-twentieth century femdom, anyway.

Speaking of ancient history, by the way, tomorrow it will be fifteen years since this blog began and the occasion will be marked in some painful and educational manner or other.

If and when she says so

And not a second before or after.

There’s nothing wrong, of course, with finding humour in femdom. It doesn’t all have to be brutal whippings, torture and opppression inflicted by hard-faced unsmiling females. Brutal whipping, torture and oppression inflicted by happy, giggling females is just as good.

Last session she wanted it done anti-clockwise, I understand. But that was then, now is now.

The nice thing about submissive clients (there has to be something, right?) for the working girls is they can fit their sessions around normal customers. If a guy comes in and asks for Yulia, she can just pop boot-worshipper there into a cupboard in mid-lick, give the normal guy whatever he needs, then let the worm back out for a little used condom play before resuming the fucked-up boot thing. If she remembers he’s there, that is.

How many blondes does it take to change a sexist’s entire outlook on life? Just one, as long as she’s got a whip and he’s got an indefinite sentence. But actually, there are over 10,000 blonde officers in the Male Rehabilitation Service, and more than enough whips to go round, so it doesn’t really work like that in practice.

It’ll probably be easier just to rip the whole thing out and install a completely new unit, which at least gives them an opportunity to find a more attractive male.

Funny how that works. For her. Every time.

By the way, obviously there’s a huge amount of slop out there, so I hesitate to recommend anything AI but there are some occasional interesting bits and pieces. This guy’s little videos are quite fun and nicely done, I think, worth a look.

Every man has a wild beast within him

But fortunately these days, more and more women are skilled in trapping and subduing these feral creatures and in the training techniques needed for domestication.

You might get a little embarassed asking the waitress – by kneeling before her with your paws up, panting wordlessly – but it’ll be worth it, you’ll see.

The problem with his company is that it wasn’t really listening enough to the equestrienne community. That won’t be a problem from now on, in fact these two ladies are planning to set up an advisory board to guide all future major – and minor – decisions.

George doesn’t do it for the applause, nor for the money – in fact he’s an unpaid volunteer. No: for George it’s best described as a labour of love and he really doesn’t need any public acknowledgement, not least because in his day job he’s a well-known lawyer.

Don’t push your luck, though. When she’s walked you home, wait patiently to see if she invites you in – and if instead she just unclips your leash and says goodnight, don’t try to change her mind.

What, you thought OWK ladies talk about nothing but whips and slavery?

The more cruelly she treats him

“…and the more faithless she is, the worse she uses him, the more wantonly she plays with him, the less pity she shows him, by so much the more will she increase his desire, be loved, worshipped by him.” The Founder himself said that, in Venus in Furs. He was right, although I don’t suppose Wanda thought any more of him as a result.

She’s trying her best to make this chastity regime work but you at least have to meet her halfway.

Good thing he warned her, or this could turn out to be a lot more painful than he’d expected.

He may be dying a virgin but he can be happy that he’s provided a woman with sexual fulfillment, even if only in his agonised dying moments. So there’s that.

If you think an affectionate little peck on her shoe is embarassing in public, try being slapped in public. Just not doing the kiss should be enough to bring it on.

I’m one of those people who can’t be hypnotised. Some say it’s a willpower thing, but as a sub it’s hard for me to believe that. A few people are just immune and that’s that. Back when I was a smoker, my girlfriend at the time persuaded me to go to a hypnotherapist she knew and the smoking craving was just as strong after the session as before. As it happens I *did* give up smoking soon after, but that was because I couldn’t really afford it, because I suddenly realised, that very evening, that I wanted to start handing over 75% of my income to my girlfriend. So it was just coincidence that it was right after the session with the hypnotist. It was difficult, but I managed to give up the cigarettes, entirely on my own, even though I decided I should be buying a pack daily for her new boyfriend, soon after. Maybe it is willpower, after all.

Pro tip: arguing that you weren’t, in this situation, is a losing proposition.

Whips and whims

If love is there, honouring and obeying should come naturally. And if they don’t, I’m sure she can find an alternative means to encourage them.

He has… but here’s only so much misbehaviour you can get up to, muzzled and on a leash.

Don’t worry: she won’t whip you any more than necessary.

My SO finds it very upsetting when our cat catches a mouse and plays with it so cruelly. As she says, there’s a 50% chance the poor little thing is female.

It’s a future-proofed profession, because although technology obviously could automate the basic function of shit-carrying, it could never provide the same satisfaction forcing a male to do that provides to the onlooker.

Contumelious captions

Older husbands might start to find it hard to bend down every morning (and evening, obviously) for the greeting, but there’s a simple solution, especially after retirement – just stay on hands and knees all day.

Mock away.

If you wiggle about, he’ll probably finish quite quickly.

They know all the tricks. Actually, occasionally the ‘clients’ aren’t faking and are genuinely unconscious, but then if they’re hung up and severely whipped, they can’t feel it and no harm done? Right? Well, OK, technically some harm maybe, but nothing to get bothered about.

Yup. I was asked the other day if I’m sexually experienced and – with all due modesty – I did have to say that I thought the stain on the floor in front of my computer table could speak for itself on that particular score! She looked suitably impressed.

Lock me down, lock me up

I don’t have much time to think about sex – too busy running this blog and there’s nothing remotely sexy here.

If I’m an adult man, surely I should be allowed to stay up after 8 o’clock?

I never know if it’s one kiss or two.

Only a bit useful. But that’s more than he used to be.

Maybe she’s only looking at Tumblr. No naked women on Tumblr. Vile racism, lies and misinformation, even ‘humorous’ captions about torture and castration, reblogged from here. But no ladies with their clothes off, than goodness, so society is safe.

Speaking with authority

Once when I was in hospital I tried out the ‘just a little prick with a needle’ joke* on one of the nurses. But she just looked confused and said “But I’m the one with the needle.” I did feel a fool.

BDSM’s odd like that. Subs are actually much more interested in exactly how the implement feels than the dommes. My SO seems to grab any old thing at random sometimes when she wants to hit me – I actually feel that shows a lack of respect, which is lovely, obviously.

Starting with this.

Makes it all worthwhile.

It’s rather an exciting art form, not least because it needs weekly refreshing.

* “I know you are, but what are you going to do with it?”.