wife – Contemplating the divine

The bonds of love

It’s easy to wait patiently when you’re chained up. Or at least, it’s not different in any sense that really matters from waiting impatiently. Still… if there’s a biscuit going, I’m not saying no!

Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time for desperately remorseful apologies – they might even let you beg for forgiveness, if they’re in a generous mood.

Cruella, of course – even the Editrix herself (yes she was, who else do you imagine wrote the editorials?), Lady Victoria, on the right there. She inspired Goddess-Lady Lucia, you know.

Arguably, offering a plausible explanation is ‘impertinence’ in and of itself, but I’ve learnt not to argue.

Fortunately, your wife has a very high tolerance for observing pain, so I doubt the safeword will be needed. Still: safe, sane and consensual, right? Any BDSM play should incorporate at least two of those.

Not a good start to a lifetime of married bliss, is it? Still, I expect you’ll improve and she expects that too.

See – and you were worried you wouldn’t be respected in this relationship! They value your expertise in menial drudgery and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Benevolent brutality

She’ll work around it. A relationship is founded on how the partners feel about one another; things like whips and canes and tawses are just the physical expressions of that.

He’s not actually naturally balding; she just prefers him that way as she says it tickles less when she’s watching TV.

Wow – sounds like you might have an important assignment on your very first day!

He doesn’t need to check his privilege because she’s checking it thoroughly on his behalf.

Classic Cruella, of course, featuring the stunning Lady Sonia and the lovely Lynda Leigh. And some bloke, probably with an ugly moustache, but who cares, eh?

You might as well blame yourself. After all, *she*‘s going to be blaming you and it’s not as if anyone else cares.

I think we know what’ll happen to Rob if he doesn’t make more of an effort. Rob doesn’t, but he’s more brawn than brains.

The boys were falling like an avalanche

Ya ya baby.

I think she has a choice… maybe she should assert herself more? Take control of her own life (as well as yours, obviously).

Actually, the photo was taken just before this shoot went horribly wrong. She slipped and broke a heel, poor thing. And it wasn’t just a clean break at the base where it joins the sole, either: it splintered at a narrow part of the stem so the pair was a complete write off – one of her favourites too. Oh, and as she slipped, all her weight fell onto the saw for a moment, so there was blood all over that bench and… well, the whole day is not one of her happier memories, let’s just put it like that. She had other pairs of shoes, obviously, but that’s not really the point, is it? They were special.

You know where this wonderful image originated, don’t you? Of course you do.

It’s weird how bulls won’t fold and neatly stack their sex partners’ underwear, like a normal person.

I hope they don’t fall out over the inheritance. Of course, it depends which husband dies first.

Dommes work hard. Mine locked me in a box the other day and gave me an entire 24 hour ignoring session, when I’d only expected three hours, and she didn’t charge me any premium over her usual hourly rates! They’re not as cruel and heartless as the image they mostly like to project, dommes, you know.

For the avoidance of doubt, I am sure that in real life Goddess Lady Skotia plays safely and delightfully, so the widow’s fascinator (such a lovely word) is just part of the outfit. And she does look very fetching in it.

“I am her Highness’ gimp at Kew, pray tell me Sir, whose gimp are you?”

It’s Mike I feel sorry for. *She* might not be bothered where her shots end up but he has to run to fetch the bolts back. A fully cocked crossbow fires them at several hundred miles per hour, so they go a long way if nothing gets in the way to slow them down.

Miss Chambers from Cruella a long time ago… such a pretty nose.

That’s a bit unfair. I frequently get quite close to girls who are having real sex, sometimes under the very bed where it’s happening.

Winners focus on winning. Losers focus on winners.

Perfectly entitled

He, on the other hand, is not at all entitled but is hoping for a favourable outcome. I’m sure she’ll say yes: it would be mean and capricious to say no, after all.

He thought it would make the scene more edgy, using a real loaded gun, and he was right. Some dommes would just work it into the scene, maybe even applying a wickedly tight tourniquet to the affected body parts (helping to staunch the massive loss of blood as well as providing a kinky thrill) but it seems this one has had enough. I expect she needs a quiet evening in, with a hot bath, a bottle of wine and her cats – to put her weird and kinky clients right out of her mind.

Don’t worry: no one will think any less of you because you’re only a homemaker. They all regard you with utter contempt already.

Nothing like a cold shower in February to bring a brisk dose of real life to a femdom session, I find. PS – why are dedicated dungeon spaces often so f***ing cold? Perhaps I should just play domestic scenes in winter months, curled up over a lap in front of a nice warm fire, with a nice warm bottom…

She’s a pro and she demands a professional service.

The more cruelly she treats him

“…and the more faithless she is, the worse she uses him, the more wantonly she plays with him, the less pity she shows him, by so much the more will she increase his desire, be loved, worshipped by him.” The Founder himself said that, in Venus in Furs. He was right, although I don’t suppose Wanda thought any more of him as a result.

She’s trying her best to make this chastity regime work but you at least have to meet her halfway.

Good thing he warned her, or this could turn out to be a lot more painful than he’d expected.

He may be dying a virgin but he can be happy that he’s provided a woman with sexual fulfillment, even if only in his agonised dying moments. So there’s that.

If you think an affectionate little peck on her shoe is embarassing in public, try being slapped in public. Just not doing the kiss should be enough to bring it on.

I’m one of those people who can’t be hypnotised. Some say it’s a willpower thing, but as a sub it’s hard for me to believe that. A few people are just immune and that’s that. Back when I was a smoker, my girlfriend at the time persuaded me to go to a hypnotherapist she knew and the smoking craving was just as strong after the session as before. As it happens I *did* give up smoking soon after, but that was because I couldn’t really afford it, because I suddenly realised, that very evening, that I wanted to start handing over 75% of my income to my girlfriend. So it was just coincidence that it was right after the session with the hypnotist. It was difficult, but I managed to give up the cigarettes, entirely on my own, even though I decided I should be buying a pack daily for her new boyfriend, soon after. Maybe it is willpower, after all.

Pro tip: arguing that you weren’t, in this situation, is a losing proposition.

Elegant arrogance

I once told a girl that I was really into sexy lingerie, and I got a full basket – all handwash only! Best date ever.

There’s no right and wrong way to do this sort of thing, of course: her method’s good, too.

My SO obviously has no personal experience of how painful her ‘little toys’ are, but she does like to hear all about it, in as much detail as I can shriek.

I once asked a pro-domme to choose her one favourite fantasy, for our session: whatever she wanted, no holds barred. So we played ‘Pay double and fuck off’, which turned out to be deliciously humiliating.

Trust is very important in a marriage – right up there with obedience.

There’s a tradition that the targets of the winning team get to go out to the winners’ podium with them – well, actually it’s better than that: they get to be the winners’ podium. So you could be in with a chance of participating in the medal ceremony.

Fishers of men

… but don’t worry: they are mostly doing it for sport. After hooking you and letting you wriggle and gasp for a while, they’ll usually just unhook you and throw you right back where you were.